Candy Crush, Oceans and Psalm 139

(*posted 3 days after I originally wrote it)

I should be packing. I should be.  I got one suitcase packed and ready (for the most part) I just have to pack my main pack with my personal stuff in it, along with my carry on.

However, I spent the afternoon in my room (after I went out for a wonderful lunch with a college friend of mine where we spent time reminiscing about college life), simply playing candy crush and having praise and worship music blaring through my speakers.

Productive I know.  

To some, knowing the trip I have coming up, they would say that the latter part of the day had ‘been a waste’.  

It hasn’t been though.

It has been exactly what I have needed, but did not know that I ‘needed’

(*Funny how even in small things like this, God knows what we need)

The song Oceans (where my feet may fail) became a favorite of mine while traveling on the World Race. I have sung it time and time again, it has over 500 plays on my iTunes alone and I have even heard it sung live by Hillsong Capetown (South Africa) during a church service there.

Yet the words continue to resonate with me.  Especially as I am getting ready to leave once again.  The Band “The Digital Age” has their own version of this song.  In their version, towards the end, they really empathize the lyrics “I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE”.  Those simple words struck me today in a way I did not expect them too.  I BELONG TO Jesus’ and HE is MINE.  

Wow.

God has given me this incredible opportunity to go back to a country, place and people that will forever hold a very very special spot in my heart.  However, He continually provides me a daily opportunity right here at home, to pour into a country, place and people who I have grown to truly love, despite having grown up here. And I am only now, realizing the true gift that it is.  I was reminded of that once again, a few short hours ago.

This evening for youth, we had outdoor games at the park.  As I was goofing off, laughing with my group of girls, going for a walk with one of the grade 12’s, tossing marsh mellows at each other, giving hugs, reminding them that ‘fire is NOT a toy’ and enjoying the warmth of that fire on an abnormally cool spring evening…God kept whispering in my ear, revealing more of who HE is, through the local youth.  Not only am I HIS, but each and every ONE of these youth…are HIS and HIS alone. 

And He, in His Grace, has allowed me a small part in their lives.   

What a blessing and what an HONOUR.

Wow.

Stop and think about that for a while…

God.  The CREATOR of the HEAVENS and earth, the ONE who brings out the stars every night-even when we cannot see them; calls YOU HIS.  

Scripture is filled with this amazing love.

Psalm 139 (my grade 9 group will find this as no surprise that this is the scripture I choose to reference), speaks to this truth and this affirmation of the love that God has for you and I.  This assurance that even before a word is on our lips, He knows it full well.  That HE created US in our mother’s womb before one of our days came to be.  That we ARE fearfully and wonderfully made and that His works are wonderfully. 

Simply put; we cannot flee from His presence as He is everywhere.  From the highest of heights, to the depths of the sea; His LOVE knows no bounds.  Don’t believe me? Read Psalm 139. It’s all there.

So if you find me (talk to me) during my last week at home now, and if you were to ask me “Are you excited?” my answer will be, “Yes, but there are a lot of mixed feelings”

Yes I am excited. Yes I am excited to hug my ‘kids’ at Grace and to actually be there.  Yes I am excited to use the skill I have been learning this past year to, hopefully, play a small part in bettering the lives of the ‘kids’ whom I will be teaching. Yes I am excited for red soil, African thunderstorms, plus 35 Celsius, and freshly picked bananas.  YES I am EXCITED to go ‘home’ to a place (Zambia) that forever has changed my life.

However, I know I will be back at ‘home’ here in Canada before I know it.  Time will fly, it always does.  It is the ‘learning to stay present’ right where I am, that I continue to struggle with.  

I have just under a week left before stepping on a plane.  Until then, I am going to BE here. Soaking in every moment that I can, realizing that no matter where in this world we are; every breath we take is a gift.  A gift we are not worthy of without the Love (and Grace) of the One who ordained every breath long ago, before even ONE of them came to be.  

Sunset on the evening of youth in the Park

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 (* since I originally wrote this blog, I am happy to announce that I am fully packed; other than my carry on, and I am leaving this week Thursday (April 30) at 5:30 in the morning.  I got one more youth evening left with my girls for this year.  One more evening left with the current group of grade 12’s who I have also gotten to know over the last 4 years.  Shout out to the grads! Proud of you all! Wish I could be at your day of celebration, but know I will be celebrating in Africa for you!)