The Wondrous Cross (Tattoo)

With Easter being today, Lent season is officially 'over'-however I can still recall the first sermon that my pastor preached when he started the lent series on 'walking with hurting people' back in February.  He started with at the core of our Christian faith.  No, not the Christmas story, but Jesus death on a cross.  He started with the cross, because that is where it all ended.  No matter what we have done/are doing/will do with the sin of our lives--->God loves us SO Much that HE sent JESUS to DIE a horrible death on the cross, for YOUR sins...for MY sins.  Just because He loves YOU and ME so much and desires to have a relationship with us.  Praise God, the story doesnt end there tho...3 days later-HE AROSE from the GRAVE--fulfilling the prophecies of the Old Testament and ultimately showing His love (and Grace) for every single human being who EVER did, does and WILL walk on this earth. Remember that as you read on...
   
Over the span of the last few days, I have been debating whether or not I should (or need too) post a blog like this.  Given the nature of it, I am not sure yet if I am going to actually post this on my WR blog...but perhaps in a week or two depending on how things go.  Okay, I just re read that last statement and it sounds like I am going to confess some deep, dark sin or something...I hope that you actually read the title of this blog and will have realized by now->that I am talking about a small cross tattoo and that is ALL.  Given the (Mennonite) culture, background and the area that I grew up in, and am currently living in...I feel (know) that when some people (s) hear via grapevine that "Did you hear? Nikki got a tattoo!" there could be/maybe some mixed reactions/thoughts.

 Now, just so we are clear right off the hop-this is NOT (again this is NOT) a post of me 'bashing' my own culture, town, beliefs or community or anything along those lines. I want to make that VERY clear, as I know that when people hear the word "Tattoo" we (myself having been included in the past) often tend to think of something huge, obvious and 'out there' and dare I even say 'evil'.  However, this post is rather me simply sharing and explaining when, why and how come I chose to get a small cross on my right index finger.

As some of you perhaps know, I spent March 22-26 in St. Louis meeting/visiting some World Race friends that I will be traveling with/living with starting in July of this year.  I got my tattoo with them, while I was IN St. Louis hanging out.  Yes, this was the first time we had met (other than skyping) in person.  Now, this may seem like a last minute decision, along with being somewhat of an 'impulse' choice and not really 'thinking it through' however, I can assure you, that this was NOT the case.  For the past few months, I  have honestly been thinking about getting a small cross tattoo somewhere on me-so when friends brought it up last week- at first I was a little hesitant about joining them in getting one (not actually thinking they would honestly follow through with it--little did I know!) As they talked about it, about how God could/would use it as a witnessing tool and as I watched the fire and passion in their eyes for CHRIST (not the tattoo), my decision to get one as well, became a whole lot easier. (seriously, if you were to meet these girls-your life will be changed)

So I did (get the tattoo) and I do not regret it at all.

New friends (and matching tattoo buddies!) that quickly became new sisters

Like I said, I had been thinking about getting a small cross tattoo somewhere on me, for quite a while and given the way certain life events/situations have been playing out in my life lately, along with where I am in my OWN walk with Christ-->the timing to have one done now, seemed to be perfect. 
I love the placement of it-the lower part of my right index finger- because I always see it constantly throughout the day no matter what I am doing.  I see it while I am at work, while I am on the computer, eating, texting, picking things up, turning things etc etc.  We constantly use our hands.  This is a visual, daily, consistent reminder to me, to ALWAYS look towards Jesus.  I have found already, that if I am having a bad.tough day, all I need to do is just simply notice the cross on my finger and I am instantly reminded of just how MUCH God loves me.  He loves me!  He loves YOU.

We got matching Cross Tattoos

As you know as well, in a matter of 3 months I am leaving on an 11 month missions trip around the world-where I will be living out Jesus' call in Matthew 28.  I am beyond stoked (and incredibly blessed) to be doing this with some of the most awesome, amazing, craziest, God loving people that I have ever met.  I also know, that the things that I will be seeing and experiencing, will break me in a way that I do not know yet.  It will humble me to a point of complete and utter brokenness and pain for the world around me.  It will bring me to my knees, crying out to YAHWEH even through silent tears.  It will bring a fulness and a joy that can only come from a pure, God centered love. It will teach me how to be vulnerable-when everything inside of me-screams to 'bottle up' It will lead me to admit it when I do not have a clue as to what is going on or how in the world I should respond.  Through it all, my cross tattoo on my finger will remain and will remind me to meet God at the cross, to realize that HE paid for it all and to allow myself to be picked up and put back together again by HIS love and Grace.

Guys, I know (especially locally) there is a lot of controversy about tattoos/piercings.  I know some people may lose respect/look down on me now because of it...but I challenge to watch the following video and take it to heart what is said before you are quick to judge.

 

I also know I am a youth leader in my local church and that youth have already asked/approached me on it and have wanted to see it.  I will be honest, I will show them.  BUT I will also let them know WHY I got it and explain to them my own personal reason for getting it (a few of which I shared here, along with a few others).  Tattoos are not a 'scary' thing.  In fact, God has already used it to witness 2 days after we got them.  One of the girls had an amazing opportunity to witness for  Christ and to just LOVE people because not only did they see her tattoo (same spot as mine is on the hand) and asked her about it, but they saw something different within her...they saw CHRIST and HIS love. HOW AMAZING IS THAT!!!?!!

Thanks Karah for being a blessing, for being bold, for loving people!  Girl, You have already changed the world even without leaving the States!YEAH Ou(R) squad bringing God's love right here...RIGHT NOW.

I hope this post made somewhat sense.  As always, feel free to ask me questions about my tattoo, or about anything.  Please.  I'd way rather have someone do that-even if we agree to disagree, then spread gossip which I know,  is so so destructive. 

Remember God's command to love?  Let's show love and well, simply love!

In Him,
Nikki

25 years young

I am into my last 18 hours (ish) of being 24...tomorrow is another day and another birthday for me...the BIG 25 Quarter of century (as my younger, 18 year old brother likes to remind me!).

Wow, 25 years young (cause I refuse to say the word 'old'!) and what a crazy 25 years it has been!  I had a fantastic day in the city yesterday with my mom and what a blessing it was!   Pedicures (yes in -25 degress C weather!), Mongo's for lunch, MEC for WR shopping (got lots done and spent a lot of money!! Is it July yet?!), starbucks and a movie to finish off the day! What a blessing and a joy!! here are just a few pictures from our pedicures off my itouch!

mom and I-love her!

In the movie theater

yes I wore sandals...it was AWESOME!

 For real though, one of the best things about 'mother/daughter days', is the car ride in.  Just being able to simply talk for that hour/hour and a half in and then again back home, is something I hope I will never take for granted!  It is something I know already I will miss TONS when I am racing next year on the WR. 

With my birthday around the corner, and with the race right around the next corner-It doesn't happen that often, but there are days/times when I DO compare myself to those around me..especially friends that I grew up.  Friends who have been married for a few years already, with a kid or two or one on the way.  Friends who are planning their weddings or recently got engaged, or buying a house or 'moving on' with life.  I cannot help but think to myself...'why is that not me?' Am I that far behind on life?' What the HECK am I doing with my life?  Questions like that, that I KNOW God has figured out and knows HIS plan for my life...so  God likes to remind me of the things that I HAVE done in my short life of 25 years...and wow what a list/adventure/ride its been!

As I was talking with my mom last night, I realized that yah maybe I dont have a PHD or masters, or a husband, or kids or things like that...things that people really 'push for' in this area...things that are the 'norm' but thats okay with me (And just for the record, this is NOT a post bashing ANY of those things...I realize that God calls us each to our own walk/path in HIS time..so please understand me on that!)

Yes I do have a 3 year BA 'under my belt' through SBC but what is way more, in the last 7 years of being out of high school...I have had the honour of traveling international not once...but 5 times to 4 different, but equally amazing for their own way, places.  Each trip overseas-whether it was for school in Sweden, or my second time back to Seeds of Hope in Zambia, has helped shaped who I AM today.  You do not need a degree to go and love...you just have to be willing to be God's hands and feet and to be broken for Him.  You need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk on that person, or child that the world deems as 'untouchable' and 'unloveable' because that is where Christ is.  The people that I have met in my travels--will always hold a very special place in my life.  I know God has placed each one of them in my life, when I needed them the most-even though I may not have known it at the time.  I can honestly say I have brothers and sisters in Christ around the world, lifting me up and prayin for me...now THAT is a humbling experience!

To bring it down to more of a 'local level' my three years at SBC challenge/blessed and encouraged me in a way that I never could have dreamed.  That too, GREATLY shaped who I am today through solid biblical teaching done by amazing professors who love Jesus, to older women in dorm who were willing to take a 'chance' on me by investing their time and energy into me, to classmates, roomates and friends--the list goes on


Basically-here is to 24 amazing, hard, challenging, joyful, stressful, broken, healed, years of living!! Thanks Jesus for each and every one of them.  Thank you for the greatest gift of all...to be called YOUR Child!!!

Love you Jesus!

Who is this Jesus?

When you think of a picture of  Jesus and what He must have looked liked...what comes to mind? Is He white? Black? Brown? Oriental?  Is He tall? Short? Skinny? Fat?  Does He have a beard? Goatee?  Clean Shaven?  What is He doing in your 'image' of Him? What is He wearing? what style of clothes?
Take a moment and think about it--what 'image' of Jesus comes to your mind?

Try 'googling' (yes I used the word 'googling' it on my blog :P) it after and and see what comes up..VERY North American looking am I right?


To be totally honest (as I like to do on this blog)...when I think of what Jesus must have looked like...I get a very 'typical North American' image.  White guy, average height, average build with a long beard and TONS of facial hair.  You know the image..the one we ALL see (at least here in North America) in Sunday School.  He is where a white robe, blue/purple sash...and He is sitting down-a bunch of kids around Him and He has this beautiful smile on His face.

This photo..only in my mind..Jesus would be smiling :)

HELLO REALITY.  This image of Jesus couldn't be more wrong.  Well, the fact that He has kids around Him..probably true as He talked a LOT about having a 'child like faith'  (Matthew 18:2-4 ) and the fact that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to these (children) and those who do not see the Kingdom as a child-will not enter it ((Mark 10:13-16 NASB)

But a "white' Jesus?  umm really North American church? He was a Jew...scripture is quite clear on that  (Matt. 2:1, Micah 5:2) and where He was born/grew up (Luke 2:39-40) ...so it SHOULD click in on what nationality He was born into. Does it make sense yet North American Church?

Again I ask you- WHO IS THIS JESUS?

It is a question that has been on my heart over this last while.  I am not sure where the question came from, or what 'sparked' it, but its something I hope to get a better 'grasp' on in the days/months to come.  With the World Race coming in a mere 4 MONTHS (STOKED!!!!!!!!!!!), I am quite sure that this will be a question that I (we) will be asked on the race-whether its by fellow squad mates (look out R squad- I WILL be asking YOU!), the locals we come into contact with whether that's out in the bush of Africa, to the green hills of Ireland-to the the red light district of Thailand, to the snowy (yes hopefully SNOWY) mountains of Nepal, chances are it may come up.

Perhaps another question is this...HAVE YOU SEEN JESUS?

or maybe they are 'one in the same'....that call-is yours.

When I truly stop, and think about 'who is this Jesus' my mind is taken to those who have positively influenced me in my own walk with Christ-from sunday school teacher, youth leaders, parents, friends, college profs, and especially the kids/people I've met internationally--->I have totally seen aspects of WHO Jesus is.  Through their words.  Through their actions.  Through their LOVE and encouragement.  They have come in ALL shapes, sizes, colour, backgrounds and nationalities-but they have ALL touched my life in their own unique way.  They have allowed me to see the world (and better understand it) in a way that has totally rocked my world.

currently, my mind is back in zambia-especially on a little girl named "Little Nikki" who I only knew for a day this side of Heaven...but I think/know it was a day when I TRULY met Jesus the most-->through this little girl..through this child. I wish I could say I knew what happened to her after she got taken from us...but I dont and chances are I will NEVER know what happened to her.  I can only pray that I WILL see her in Heaven...kneeling at our Creators feet, soaking in HIS love.

Although I only knew her for a day--I saw Jesus in her smile.  In her joy. In her laughter.  In her awe of what was around her. I saw Jesus in her hope of a new day, new adventure and life.

I saw Jesus in her pain.  In her sorrow as she turned around that last time and looked at me with those eyes that are forever burned in my mind.  I saw Jesus in her tears as she tried to compose herself, knowing what was coming.  I saw Jesus in her anger.  I saw Jesus in her hopelessness and complete brokenness.      

The ironic thing that I just realized...is in EVERYONE of those statements... I could replace "her' with "I".  Jesus saw ME in my pain, in MY sorrow, in MY tears, Anger, hopelessness and complete brokenness.  Jesus saw ME in MY smile, my joy, my laughter, awe and HOPE.

How AMAZING is that?!?!? Jesus not only SEES little Nikki right now where she is, but He never has left her and He NEVER will.  The same goes for me and you.  

Who is this Jesus?  HE is the best friend I have ever had.  He knows me inside and out and loves me no matter what I say or do.  He doesnt care about my past, or the sins that filled (fill) it.  When He said "IT IS FINISHED" He meant "IT IS FINISHED".  thats the amazing thing about Grace...about this time leading up to Easter and the work HE did on the cross for me and you.  

Guys...HE LOVES US and is JEALOUS for us.  

Who is this Jesus? 
 HE is the Great I AM                 and
                                                                     He is my best friend.