Free...

I went for Coffee the other day with a friend and something happend to me that has never happend to me before.  She wanted to say thanks (let me explain).  She went on to say that she could see in me that I was "Free".  Spirtually Free, and this concept, at first was new to her.  How does one look "Free" she said she could just see it in me, the way I interacted with other people and I guess strive for life...it got me thinking...I am Free...by God's grace alone.  Growing up was easy compared to some,yet there were days when I didnt think I would make it and God seemed VERY far away...but its true...I am free.  Christ Saved me, He has callled me back so many times when I have gone astray...so not really sure what the point of this post is, oh wait maybe I do knw....it is to say thanks....thanks be to God and God alone for HE did rescue me.  Thank you God so much for giving me this life, for speaking truth into my life and allowing me to influence and impact those around me.  Thank you for their influence and love that they have shown me.  HYou have immensely blessed me and for that, I am ever thankful!  As a newsboys song says it...I am FREE! and check out the rest of the lyrics..

Through You the blind will see


Through You the mute will sing

Through You the dead will rise

Through You our hearts will praise

Through You the darkness flees

Through You my heart screams I am free

I am free

Chorus:

I am free to run

I am free to dance

I am free to live for You

I am free

Yes, I am free
Through You the kingdom comes

Through You the battle's won

Through You I'm not afraid

Through You the price is paid

Through You there's victory

Because of You my heart Sings I am free

I am free
Chorus:
Who the Son sets free is free indeed.

Who the Son sets free is free indeed.



God, I Love you

Sweetly Broken

This past weekend, we had impact here at school and as per usual, it was pretty crazy.  Our music group sang a song a few times this weekend that I discovered I really took a liking too.  it is called "Sweetly Broken" by Jeremy Riddle.  I know I have heard it before around on the radio and all but since we sang it the first time ehre, I can not get it out of my head.  There are a few key lines in the verse/chorus that I guess have been sticking out....perhaps its sometihgn I have been struggling with internally.  Do you ever Get thsoe days when music is just that, music?  and it is nothing more?  I guess technically it is just music, but i am one who music can totally affect my mood...
but check out these lyrics and note that parts that I bolded and all...think about them and reflect on them


"To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed

Showed that God is love
And God is just
Chorus:
At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered
What a priceless gift, undeserved life

Have I been given

Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death

You’ve called me into life

And I was under Your wrath

Now through the cross I’m reconciled
Chorus:

In awe of the cross I must confess

How wondrous Your redeeming love and

How great is Your faithfulness



*But yah its just something on my mind lately.  Here is also something else...do u ever feel distant from God?  come on I know you do...we all do...

"Well, last while it has been that is for sure. God, why is it so hard to balance time? To balance friends? Why are girls such idiots sometimes? Why do I feel tired? Why are girls the way they are? Why can’t we just be friends with everyone and just all get along? Why do/did some of our home lives suck? Why can I not FEEL you???? Are you there? Are you near? Speak to me God, I wanna hear your voice, I want to feel your presence".  Just a few thoughts....

Worship and church

So the other day in church...I was looking around and my mind wondered from the message (sorry Ben!) on to something else...still church related! It was this concept of worship, and church itself. The thought jumped into my head..."what IS worship?" Is it singing songs sunday morning and thats it? is it all of us bowing our heads when the pastor says its time to pray (if you ever wait just a tad longer and watch people bow their heads when that is said, its actally quite amuzing, as its like robots and out of habit..try it sometime...)? What is church? is it the place where we gather on sundays and that is it?

These are just a few of my thoughts, as it is something I am still processing and learning each and every day. For myself, church IS good (dont get me wrong) but it is not where I worship the best.  For myself, I come to learn a few things about myself...one-I need/crave community of some form.  Now this seems wierd then that church isnt a place where I worship the best, because it totally is a community...but what I think it is, is that its too big...at least the church where I am now....there are some people who I know...but over all its too big.  that is one thing I love abtou school now, is the student size of it.  people are not just friends, but we are like one big family...you get to reall yknow people and so feel more open and honest with them...something I dont feel when I go to church.  Perhaps smaller churches are different, I am not sure, but still.    I just do better in small, more intimate crowds.  This past summer at WBC, we had a few "jamming" sessions outside where people would pull out their guitars and we would just sing praises to God.  Ther was one day where 5-6 of us sat between teh dorms, one sunday and just played and sang..very informal, but God spoke more than to me, then I think he would have had I actually gone to a church buiilding. It was great...that is where I connect really well.
 
another place where I love to worship God, is anywhere on my OWN.  I LOVE going out and just taking my journal, camera and pen and "losing" myself somewher eout in the country or off somewhere.  Just taking pictures, even though i may not be thinking anything or saying anything... I guess its a gift God has given me and I just love using it and capturing his Beauty and glorifiying Him through that.  Plus it does give me a chance to be on my own since I am still an intervert at heart for sure.
 
And i think the same goes with church...smaller populations and more "one on one' situations...a place where one can really get to know each other and lift each other up in prayer.  Church now is great on sunday mornings, but school, chapels and just hanging out in dorm, chatting and sharing life together, is what i love. 
God is all around us no matter wehre we go.
 
So not sure why I wrote about that, but felt like I wanted to, needed to...
Just a few thoughts and I thought it was time to update this once again