Despite a crazy, somewhat emotional day-THANK GOD FOR YOUTH!!!
I mood always brighten when youth are around (and not a mask-it genuinely does!) They just have this thing about them, that makes you glow. Their sillyness, fun loving, crazy awesome personalities are SUCh a crazy awesome gift and blessing from God!
Thank you God for the youth. For speaking to me through them and I pray that I can bless and encourage them as well. use me for YOUR Glory!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Fingerpainting Therapy
So after a crazy, emotional friday night (but REALLY GOOD God time), and a crazy Saturday with mixed feelings too-nothing like a good, 3 hour long bible study with some of the best youth ever, food, laughter (lots of laughter) AND FINGERPAINTING...makes for a pretty awesome sunday afternoon!!! And so, without further words...they say pictures are worth a thousand words...so here yah go! Enjoy our fingerpaint therapy!! :)
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| from fingerpainting... |
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| to painting with our feeet!!! |
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Convicted
Ever have that feeling, when God has been "nagging" (for lack of better word), you to do something that you really dont want to do?!?!?
Yeps, I have
Ever know that your suppose to have a conversation with someone, a conversation that you really dont want to have and have literally been putting it off for months? But now God has said "enough".
I have
Does your stomach ever get all knoted and twisted? And you would rather go to a foreign country and witness there, than at home with your own family? (Seriously- give me a group of kids in Zambia, or adults living in poverty in the Philippines and be asked to speak-than talking to family)
Mine Has.
Funny how that works eh? How we can do 'huge stuff' like flying across teh world and preaching, yet when it comes to family and friends....I personally-have WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more fear.
But, as the title says; I am feeling convicted to do something about it. time to take a "leap of faith' and get out of the boat onto the rocky waters-with my eyes on Christ.
A few things have convicted me to do it.
1) Most important-GOD
2) scripture/prayer
3) my youth (how can I be a leader, challenge my youth in their faith through youth nights/bible study, when my own fears are holding me back...hello hypocrite!)
4) My mom
5) Myself
So here's hoping it goes well. I am praying for a good, raw and honest conversation with a member of my family shortly (no its nothing life serious or anything like that, but its somehting I know God is telling me to do)
So with that, have a great Saturday!
Yeps, I have
Ever know that your suppose to have a conversation with someone, a conversation that you really dont want to have and have literally been putting it off for months? But now God has said "enough".
I have
Does your stomach ever get all knoted and twisted? And you would rather go to a foreign country and witness there, than at home with your own family? (Seriously- give me a group of kids in Zambia, or adults living in poverty in the Philippines and be asked to speak-than talking to family)
Mine Has.
Funny how that works eh? How we can do 'huge stuff' like flying across teh world and preaching, yet when it comes to family and friends....I personally-have WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more fear.
But, as the title says; I am feeling convicted to do something about it. time to take a "leap of faith' and get out of the boat onto the rocky waters-with my eyes on Christ.
A few things have convicted me to do it.
1) Most important-GOD
2) scripture/prayer
3) my youth (how can I be a leader, challenge my youth in their faith through youth nights/bible study, when my own fears are holding me back...hello hypocrite!)
4) My mom
5) Myself
So here's hoping it goes well. I am praying for a good, raw and honest conversation with a member of my family shortly (no its nothing life serious or anything like that, but its somehting I know God is telling me to do)
So with that, have a great Saturday!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Grace
I thought of lots of titles for this blog..but frankly..GRACE sums it up.
I felt very small tonight
I also felt very overwhelmed
I had/have lots of questions for God
AND, quite frankly, angry at God
yet despite these emotions-also a deep sense of being LOVED by Him-that He is calling me/telling me to "come to the cross and lay your burdens down"
Both my dad's mom, and my mom's dad-have been in (and out) of the hostpital latey. this evening-I went with my mom to visit my grandpa a bit. He didnt look very good (better than this morning apparently, but still not good). Now him and I, have never been close (he is actually my mom's step dad-long story) anyways as we were visiting him in his room-two other elderly patients there, poked in. One had his ear bandaged up and seemed really confused and walking really slow, and the other was a lady in a wheelchair speaking low german (which I do not understand but was apparently asking "where is my husband" as my mom translated for me later). Now with these three (my grandpa can barley move himself and is swollen all over-he fell twice and other people in my family are not visiting him for a variety of different reasons, but they are taking a toll on my mom and thus-affecting me but anways) between these three (and a later conversation I had with mom) it made me angry at God that he would allow these pepoel to 'become like that' (lost, confused, hurt etc). Enter my grandma-her too-recently fell and broke her arm. ANYWAYS she IS doing better (even played rummi kube tonight :) ) but here is a lady, who WANTS to go home (heaven) and is wondering "Why not me" (another post for another time). I walk out of her apartment-eyes heavenlyward toward the clear night sky- and ask "why God". Feeling very overwhelmed right about now. And feeling angry at God
Enter 2 hours long conv. with my mom on what I just experience-with more questions than answer after the conv. (really GOOD conv tho)-begin questions with/for God.
finally-walk home at night. Cool crisp clear winter night and the stars shining bright with the moon as a sliver. this is where i feel very small.
Finally right now- despite knowing what I need to do (but so not wanting to do it)feeling at peace and LOVED by Him.
If the Creator created the amazing stars that i just saw, and knowing HE has made everything else my eyes have seen in my life time this far, yet just HOW MUCH MORE HE loves ME than all creation-sends shivers all around me. I AM SO LOVED!!! Created in HIS image. Like really, how awesome is that!?!?
Do I know what tomorrow will bring? no no idea. will I ever get answers to the bajillion questions i have? I doubt it. Will the seniors that I encountered tonight-be healed? or will they join God up in heaven in a short while? I do not know. But I know it says "rejoice always, I will say it again, rejoice!" and there is a "time and place for everything in Heaven" but more importantly-Christ said "it is FINISHED" as He hung on a tree all those years ago and now is reaching out His hand to me asking me, "Nikki take my hand, my yoke is light, let ME carry YOU"
Why is it so hard to let go and give it all to Him!?!
I felt very small tonight
I also felt very overwhelmed
I had/have lots of questions for God
AND, quite frankly, angry at God
yet despite these emotions-also a deep sense of being LOVED by Him-that He is calling me/telling me to "come to the cross and lay your burdens down"
Both my dad's mom, and my mom's dad-have been in (and out) of the hostpital latey. this evening-I went with my mom to visit my grandpa a bit. He didnt look very good (better than this morning apparently, but still not good). Now him and I, have never been close (he is actually my mom's step dad-long story) anyways as we were visiting him in his room-two other elderly patients there, poked in. One had his ear bandaged up and seemed really confused and walking really slow, and the other was a lady in a wheelchair speaking low german (which I do not understand but was apparently asking "where is my husband" as my mom translated for me later). Now with these three (my grandpa can barley move himself and is swollen all over-he fell twice and other people in my family are not visiting him for a variety of different reasons, but they are taking a toll on my mom and thus-affecting me but anways) between these three (and a later conversation I had with mom) it made me angry at God that he would allow these pepoel to 'become like that' (lost, confused, hurt etc). Enter my grandma-her too-recently fell and broke her arm. ANYWAYS she IS doing better (even played rummi kube tonight :) ) but here is a lady, who WANTS to go home (heaven) and is wondering "Why not me" (another post for another time). I walk out of her apartment-eyes heavenlyward toward the clear night sky- and ask "why God". Feeling very overwhelmed right about now. And feeling angry at God
Enter 2 hours long conv. with my mom on what I just experience-with more questions than answer after the conv. (really GOOD conv tho)-begin questions with/for God.
finally-walk home at night. Cool crisp clear winter night and the stars shining bright with the moon as a sliver. this is where i feel very small.
 |
| (not what I saw, but I liked the picture!) |
If the Creator created the amazing stars that i just saw, and knowing HE has made everything else my eyes have seen in my life time this far, yet just HOW MUCH MORE HE loves ME than all creation-sends shivers all around me. I AM SO LOVED!!! Created in HIS image. Like really, how awesome is that!?!?
Do I know what tomorrow will bring? no no idea. will I ever get answers to the bajillion questions i have? I doubt it. Will the seniors that I encountered tonight-be healed? or will they join God up in heaven in a short while? I do not know. But I know it says "rejoice always, I will say it again, rejoice!" and there is a "time and place for everything in Heaven" but more importantly-Christ said "it is FINISHED" as He hung on a tree all those years ago and now is reaching out His hand to me asking me, "Nikki take my hand, my yoke is light, let ME carry YOU"
Why is it so hard to let go and give it all to Him!?!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Life, Africa, Youth, and happenings
So its been a while. Thought it was time to update this thing perhaps-not that life has changed much recently but hey, all of a sudden I had an urge to write. SO life. It can be summed up in two words "The same". Yet at the same time-life is always an adventure right? There are always ups and downs to it-after all, it is what we make it right?
Recently I read a post on a friend's of mine blog-how looking on FB can be quite depressing-people moving on with their lives, traveling, dating, getting married, having kids etc etc. At this point, I am in the stage of life where that is happening with all my friends (some dating, some engaged, married and yes-quite of those who are married, actually have kids) This is great! Please dont get me wrong...but at the same time, I can not help but ask "what is next for me?" what is my "next big step?" Dont get me wrong, life IS good and I couldnt/shouldnt complain about it-but I do (mostly to myself). Maybe its "winter blues" (alhough we have had an amazing winter with great temperatures!), or maybe the travel bug is starting to bite harder once again (I am thinking this has a large part to do with it). I am SO tempted to pick a destintation (chances are, in canada- and take a longer weekend and go fly somewhere-seriously) just to get up and go. (just looked at some flights too..BAD idea for me..the looking part-makes me want to do it more!)
Town's been interesting lately tho...different issues have arised in a local school-one which I really dont feel like going into detail to (mainly cause I dont know enough about it/some things are just safer not to talk about) but its been interesting to see/hear people's thoughts and reactions on it. Yet in a way, its like it is dividing the town and making a HUGE deal out of something that really isnt so big (this issue has made news headlines around MB and apparently even the Toronto Sun...you know "small town, close minded people" which a part of me agrees with but thats a different story) but yes it has been interesting.
Ah well. Despite all of that life IS good. I mean really I have NO reason what so ever to complain about. Work is alright. Yes I have days when I so dont want to go to work (who doesnt?) but when it comes down to it-at least I HAVE a job (unlike 90% of the world) that pays alright and is flexible. Still living on my own, but yah know what I am good with that. totally still enjoying that and all it brings! Youth is still great. Each and every week it is a high light for me. A chance to learn, grow and connect with the youth.
So yah I am learning what it means to "give thanks always' despite what happens. So here are a few things that I am thankful for (lots more, but these have really stuck out lately)
-A God who loves me for ME
-being saved by His grace and His grace alone
-my past experiences and how they allow me to connect with those around me (so valuable)
-My "kids" out in Zambia (wow Do i miss them!)
-My family (especially my little brother!)
-Youth and youth nights!
Recently I read a post on a friend's of mine blog-how looking on FB can be quite depressing-people moving on with their lives, traveling, dating, getting married, having kids etc etc. At this point, I am in the stage of life where that is happening with all my friends (some dating, some engaged, married and yes-quite of those who are married, actually have kids) This is great! Please dont get me wrong...but at the same time, I can not help but ask "what is next for me?" what is my "next big step?" Dont get me wrong, life IS good and I couldnt/shouldnt complain about it-but I do (mostly to myself). Maybe its "winter blues" (alhough we have had an amazing winter with great temperatures!), or maybe the travel bug is starting to bite harder once again (I am thinking this has a large part to do with it). I am SO tempted to pick a destintation (chances are, in canada- and take a longer weekend and go fly somewhere-seriously) just to get up and go. (just looked at some flights too..BAD idea for me..the looking part-makes me want to do it more!)
Town's been interesting lately tho...different issues have arised in a local school-one which I really dont feel like going into detail to (mainly cause I dont know enough about it/some things are just safer not to talk about) but its been interesting to see/hear people's thoughts and reactions on it. Yet in a way, its like it is dividing the town and making a HUGE deal out of something that really isnt so big (this issue has made news headlines around MB and apparently even the Toronto Sun...you know "small town, close minded people" which a part of me agrees with but thats a different story) but yes it has been interesting.
Ah well. Despite all of that life IS good. I mean really I have NO reason what so ever to complain about. Work is alright. Yes I have days when I so dont want to go to work (who doesnt?) but when it comes down to it-at least I HAVE a job (unlike 90% of the world) that pays alright and is flexible. Still living on my own, but yah know what I am good with that. totally still enjoying that and all it brings! Youth is still great. Each and every week it is a high light for me. A chance to learn, grow and connect with the youth.
So yah I am learning what it means to "give thanks always' despite what happens. So here are a few things that I am thankful for (lots more, but these have really stuck out lately)
-A God who loves me for ME
-being saved by His grace and His grace alone
-my past experiences and how they allow me to connect with those around me (so valuable)
-My "kids" out in Zambia (wow Do i miss them!)
-My family (especially my little brother!)
-Youth and youth nights!
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