Spirit of Fear

I happened to "randomly' Check this blog today and it surprised me to see that my last post here, was/is similar to a post I posted last night on my world race blog...So I thought I would do a "copy and Paste' sort of thing on to this blog!  Here is the last one EVER of 2012!!

 

 

 

~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of
power, love, and self-discipline~

                                                                                                                                  2 Timothy 1:7

I was challenged the other day by a friend. Her name; is Leah. 

Leah is 25 years old and is originally from Kingston Ontario, Canada.  Now, she is married to a wonderful, Godly man named Alexander and, together, they have a 6 month old beautiful daughter named Anya.  As a family, they currently live just on the outskirts of Belize city, Belize where they are both really involved with Children's Camps International Belize Ministry (such an amazing ministry..check out the work that they are doing in Belize, and INDIA here)

I had the privilege and honour of spending the full day with her this past week (something that only happens when they are out here once a year,  visiting friends/family and ministry related things) and like normal, I was blessed and encouraged by her.

Just for some history on our friendship...I met Leah during my first year of Bible college at Steinbach Bible College  I was a shy (yes R Squad, I was QUITE shy at one point..still am to a point), first year and she was a loud (in a good way) third year.  I was unsure of who I was and insecure, she was very sure of who she was and very confident in herself.  God works in strange, awesome ways and He knew I needed a female mentor like Leah, in my life and so, although I forget how, we connected.  It was the little things really that she did that helped me open up.  A hug, walks,  a smile, or a sincere "how are you?".  It was the bigger things like inviting me over to her place on campus for a 'home made' meal (hey, living in dorm...homemade meals are priceless!), a coffee 'date' to Tim Hortons for an ice Cap and a sprinkled doughnut that made me feel like "hey, I am worth spending time with..."  Things like just talking to me, listening to my struggles and even being silent when that spoke louder than words ever could have.  Offering advice as to my "what now?" questions that I drilled her with that had everything to do with from guys, to school, to life in general, to GOD and what following HIM really meant...I quickly learned that she was someone I could turn to, talk to and trust with whatever was going on in my life.
                  

(Leah and I in spring 2008)

Fast forward 5 years to where we are now (where has time gone?) and God still is using Leah in my life to guide, mentor and challenge me.  Yes, we have BOTH grown a lot-in similar way and in ways that are VERY different.  Yes, we are on very different stages of life right now.  Yes we even live in completely different countries...

BUT...  We still both love, follow and serve the

EXACT.SAME.GOD.
 

When we hung out, we did not "waste time" with 'small talk" or "making conversation for the sake of conversation".  Instead...we got right into the stuff I love...the "meat and potatoes" part of life (aka, the deep stuff).  Since we both have a passion for missions...we talked a lot about missions and our own 'philosophy's' on missions.  Through this conversation, I really realized just how much I HAVE grown through the different trips I have done, through the schooling I have taken...yet I also realized just how little I really do know.  I am ok with this, as I know that learning, is a major part of life.

As I was talking to her about my World Race coming up, and sharing about R Squad (dont worry guys, just all good things about you! ), she paused at the end and looked at me and asked,

"So what is stopping you from going into missions FULL time?"

                                                     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

My answer was quick and simple.....
                                                                                                    ...FEAR

(For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline)

I could give the excuse... "I hate asking people for money to support me" (which I do...) or "I do not think I could fully, 100% give up my comfortable, Canadian lifestyle" or, "I will/would miss my family too much" or any other excuse my mind could/would come up with....and while a lot of these reasons are GOOD reasons...they are not the REAL reason that is holding me back...so
                                                                                                      .....lets' be honest here.....

It is pure fear, and fear alone

(For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline)

I've been told that launch for July 2013 is a close 150 (ish) days away....I hear this/see this and I would love NOTHING better than to lock myself in a room and just 'pretend that it is not there'.  I start freaking out because I have SO MUCH to do yet before then and really, 150 days is NOT a whole lot.  I have money to fundraise, things to get, pack, hang out with friends, tell family, training camp, spend time with my youth, work, enjoy one more birthday, finish 'soaking in' Christmas memories and well, just plain RELAX and ENJOY life right here, right now....................

once again..that still small voice I can faintly hear inside my head and in my heart...

"For I (God) has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline"

*Breathe* Ok God, I said I trust when I started to follow you... I have said I trust YOU lots since then...You have never failed me before and You are not going to start.  I know You LOVE me to much to ever let me go...I am holding You to that right here, right now, every day leading up to the race, EVERy day ON the race and every day after the race for the rest of my life.

~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of
power, love, and self-discipline~

"Father God, thank you for Leah, for the incredible mentor she has been and continues to be, for me in my life.  I pray that as her family heads back to Belize, that You will continue to bless and enrich their lives personally and through the ministry.  When she is done, or having a rough day, wrap her tighter in Your arms...hold her closer with Your mighty arms.

Father, as the race comes closer day by day..calm my heart.  Give me Your peace, Your power, Your love and self discipline to see YOU in ALL that goes on.  I pray that ultimately, I will know you more and more every day.  I pray for  YOUR strength when I feel weak.  Your JOY when I am sad.  Your LOVE when I feel as though I have no more love to give. I praise you because I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.  YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL .
I love you Jesus.
Amen"

Rooted in Christ

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 
(NKJV)
2 Timothy 1:7

God is good.

These last few days/week have been crazy for me when it comes to my walk with God.  I do not even know where to begin.  God is awesome.  God is powerful.  God is just.  God is love.

He has shown me time and time again all of these mentioned above, and so much more.  If I am honest with myself, life has been super busy lately and again, my personal devo's have been lacking, however I am finding that God is speaking to me loud and clear each and every day.

Zambia:  it is less than a week away and I am so ready to go (well, I am still slacking on the being 'fully packed' part of it, but mentally and emotionally-I am ready!).  Out of all the different trips abroad that I have taken (for missions and non missions related), this is the one trip I was fully and 100% looking forward too in complete anticipation and peace...that is...until today.  The devil has a way of sneaking in...of putting fears and doubts in my (our) minds.  Yet God's way of reminding me (us) that HE loves us, cares for us and reminds us that He has already won the fight FOR us, is so amazing.  I am so thankful for my R squad-for the way God is speaking to me, through them.  He did this again today, through a message from a friend (you know who you are-thanks so much!!), right when I needed it.  Some may say its a 'coincident' but I would say it was/is 101% fully and completely God and God alone.  I was reminded that God is and will continue to, work through me and all I needed to do was yell at satan to leave.  When I first read it, I was like "yah but I'm at work..that would be a little odd" but then I realized that the spiritual battle for our souls, doesn't 'take a break' just because we are at work, or school or hanging out with friends.  It is all day. It is everyday and the battle is intense.  So, I stepped aside a bit and told satan (yes out loud), to get out as he has no right in or around me. God's name is powerful.  Demons tremble and flee when they hear it.  I got my peace back. Praise God

Youth: Last weekend, we had our annual youth retreat and going into it, my prayer was that GOd would 'show up'.  How this would look like? I had no idea.  I just knew that He would and wow did He did.  I won't go into much detail here but if your curious, email me or facebook or something and I'd love to share.  Needless to say people grew and lives were changed.  Personally, I learned/was reminded, that no matter where I am, or how old I get, I am HIS daughter.  I am HIS beloved Child. I am a daughter of the KING.  (how awesome is that!!!?!?)  I was out near the lake during our solo time with God and as the waves were hitting the stones, the sun peaked through the clouds (it was pretty chilly and cold before this point...yes we even had snow! hey, I  am Canadian). As the sun peaked out, it shone and it shone brightly and immediately brought a physical warmth and a spiritual warmth.  It was like Jesus was sitting right next to me.  It (the sun) came out right in the middle of my prayers (yet another example of how God hears our prayers and answers!).  It was so powerful.

 

I've also been asking the question of them (youth girls especially)- "who are you'.  The responses and feedback has been great.  It has been interesting to hear them stumble/hesitate upon answering, yet at the same time, they DO know the answers deep down. Yes, some of it is hard as it is a tough question but I know its making them think and its making me think.  It has been such a blessing.

Work: God is even showing Himself to me at work-a place where I find it hard to seek God, to hear Him.  Through conversations with co workers I have been amazed at the different 'faith based' conversations we have had.  One co worker even has his bible at work and reads it/takes notes during break (I knew him from high school and I honestly never thought that he would be a guy to do this...show me how much I know...) and I recently learned that he got baptized (so pumped!)  An example at how God does change people's hearts.

Friends: Weekly skype sessions with R squad racers, has been a huge blessing.  Being prayed over and for blows my mind each time.  Its awesome. I love it. Cheesecake with a friend of mine from high school and being able to catch up and talk about life and God-came right when I needed it.

I've realized lately, that I am INCREDIBLY blessed.  That's going to make it a lot harder to leave it in July. However I am excited to head out and pass on some of the blessing that God has given me.  Zambia will be just a start.  I want to go to BE a blessing, but in all truth..chances are I will be the one who comes back blessed even more.

Life isnt about making tons of money.  Its about relationships.  Relationships with other people and especially a relationship with Christ.

So..who am I?

I am God's Child.
I have been forgiven.
I have been Redeemed

Dear Blog

Dear Blog...sorry I have been neglecting you...I have moved my 'blogging thoughts' to

http://nikkifriesen.theworldrace.org/

So check out that link, click "support me" to donate/send me on the World race

and help me reach "the least of these" for God's kingdom!!

To His Glory and HIS Glory alone!

Called to be Different

As Christians, we are called to be different.  We are not a part of this world.

 John 15:19 states " If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."  

I've been realizing lately that I do not take enough of a stand for my faith.  I have become to feel as tho I 'belong to the world'.  Christ calls us to live for Him. To be "transformed by the renewing of our minds" and "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this, to look after widows and orphans in their distress" (James 1:27).

What does this look like?  how are we suppose to act?  How do we respond to people who laugh at and 'spit' in the face of Christ?  I must stop myself and ask myself...had I been alive during the time when Christ got crucified...would I have been in the crowd (or a solider) laughing at, mocking and spiting at Christ?  OR would I have been apart of the small, but dedicated crowd of followers...Mary...Mother of Jesus Mary, John??

I wish I could say I would have been alongside Mary and the few disciples who stuck around..but in actuality-i think I would have been in the crowd.  How many times during a single day, or even hour, do I myself right now...mock Christ by the things I say, or laugh at Him through my actions (or in some cases, lack there of) or anything else?

Micah 6:8-And what does teh LORD our God require of you? to DO justice, LOVE mercy and WALK humbly with the Lord your God

New Blog

Although I will be continuing to update this one as well (with my ramblings/feelings and thoughts etc) check out this one! SO EXCITED!!!


I am a going on a race!


Pray for me k?

Just Surrender

It is sunday morning before church.  Another cool crips fall morning. I usually do not blog first thing in the morning (especially on a sunday) but now, I feel as tho I should and could-so I am going to. 

I realized something yesterday.  I realized that I love my friends.  Odd that I only realized this now? Perhaps. However some people never realize it and that is sad.  I went out to steinbach yesterday for coffee with a friend and then for another's wedding shower (which was a blast!).  What stuck out to me, was that this friend I went out for coffee with-was my roomate first year of college.  Just thinking back to that year, I cant do anything but smile and chuckle to myself.  Her and I have a relationship that is unlike any other.  When we first met and I realized I would have to "survive" a year with her-I was ready right there to quite school and go home. Like for real!  Our personalities were total opposites!  Through many ups and downs, venting sessions with other friends, weekend 'escapes' home, and especially own, personal growth-her friendship is one I have really come to cherish and love.

Here is a young women who doesnt care what other people think of her.  FOr example-her clothes.  I remember her being far out 'wacky' with bright bright colours and like crazy floral pattern type clothes (the 70's come to mind).  I had not seen her for quite a while and so we made plans to meet at a local coffee shop-she showed up with TIGER EARS in her hair, a BRIGHT Neon Green jacket and like 70's floral style pants, ffashioned with a somewhat normal, looking mini purse.  She said her outfit was for heading out to Kareokee later in the city!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!
I could do nothing but smile to myself as she wrapped me in a huge hug.  It was so good to see her!

In the short time we hung out, we laughed, told silly stories and drank coffee.  What was more special tho, was that, despite the fact we hadnt talked/seen each other for a while-we talked like we saw each other every day.  Shared hurts, lessons from God, trials and victories that we were facing.  I was incredible blessed. 

In the end, I thanked her so much for the time with her and prayed for her.

I'd like to say that my main reason for going out to steinbach, was for the shower that followed (and to some extent, it was) but after my last week that I had, God knew I needed to see her. I needed to laugh and be 'picked up' in a way that oonly she can pick people (me) up.

When you 'just surrender' to God and give Him control-stand back and be prepared to be amazed. Don't forget to smile and thank God for those moments!

Overwhelmed

I am glad this last week is done.  I am not a person to get overwhelmed by much-but I do not know what it was about this last week.  Made all the hours at work are finally catching up to me (late nights/early mornings) or maybe that today (Friday) was my first day "off" this last week.  Now I am NOT complaining because the things that I was busy with-were/are important and I wouldt have changed my week even if I could have, I just need to daily remember and learn, to give it all to God. 
Some things (well one thing) with africa has come up-turns out we do need a shot we originally didnt think we needed to have-so thats anothe thing to 'add to my plate'...but that being said-its only like 45 more days!!! SO EXCITED and the break will be MUCH needed!

This weekend, next weekend and the weekend after that-are all busy with weddign related things (I am maid of honour in one) and as excited as I am for the wedding and all that that includes-it will be nice to have one less thing off my shoulders cause there is always that nugget now in the back of my head-a 'wedding check list' so to speak of things I need to do yet..the wedding is two weeks from tomorrow!

I have also been working on some stuff for my 11 in 11 adventure potentially for next year (making calls etc) so thats something else

and well, youth of course.  I am still LOVING my wednesday nights-different crowd this year but it should be good.  Time will tell and I am excited for it!

I have been asked some tough questions lately-friends of mine are making some not good choices and so trying to figure out how.when to deal with that-has also been quite heavy.  Lots of prayer, discussions with different people and reading.

Like i said at the start-giving everyting over to God daily is a battle.  some days are easier then others.  I like control and so relinquishing that to HIM, is hard.  Even tho I KNOW that HIS plans are better.  His ways are the best. 

I Just gotta hold to  that

The Pregnancy Project and sterotypes

I realized lately-that I really do 'judge a book by its cover'....  WAIT before you have a confused look on your face, let me explain-I AM HUMAN (no excuse I realize that) but  When I say "book" I really DO mean a book (like something you read).  If the cover looks cool, I will pick it up and 'give it a chance' but if it doesn't, I will usually pass it by. Ok so we are clear? I am talking about any piece of literature.

What scared me tho, is that this line of thinking-no matter HOW HARD I TRY, it carries over to how I first view people as well.  So I really do 'judge a book by its cover' (*smacks myself over my head''come on nikki, I should know better*).  God "smacked" me over the head this weekend with that line of thought and this time, He used a different line of medium to do it...a tv movie that I 'happened' to flip through and see. 

"The Pregnancy Project"-I saw this title on the screen and thought "oh great, another 'teen mom' show, like we really need that" (SEE look at how quick I am to judge even that!) but curiosity got the best of me and I "tuned in". 

I am glad I did.

I wont say much about the plot of the movie, but instead I will say that this senior high school student in the states, 'faked a pregnancy' last year as a final "social project" for school.  So the movie is her story, her experience on it.  I have also included a link to an interview with the real girl who did it (for facts) so now I recomend checking out the article below.

Newstory


I didnt realize this while I was watching the movie, but rather afterwards when I was talking with my mom about.  I realized that I was very much 'one of those girls' snickering and yes, even sneering and saying some not so nice things about one of my older brother's friend who got pregnant and had her baby girl Feb. before her grad year.  my thoughts "not my problem, she had it coming-why should I deal with it?"  She would come over still (being my bro's friend and all) and I found out way later after the fact that there was a rumour going around town about MY brother  being the child's father (He isnt. another story for perhaps another time, but chalk up another point for annoying, small town gossip..i hate it-I realize hate is a strong  word, but in this case I think it works..hello rabbit trail)

ANYWAYS point being, I was one pointing fingers and laughing (perhaps not directly too her but still about her).  God decided to wake me up.  My mom, bein who she is-spent hours babysitting the daughter of this girl and spending time with the mom.  Honestly at first, I was jealous simple as that.  I could not understand why my mom would be investing her time in this young mom and her child.  This went on to about Christmas of that year.

That Christmas, I went to TF (our youth's conference), there-I met and saw a girl around MY AGE at the time, with her little boy who was around a year already at that point.  I overheard a conv with her and someone else just talking about her pregnancy and how her church responded...her answer blew my mind- she said (in regards to her church) that they were the biggest supporters, threw her a huge baby shower and were totally behind her and supporting her.  this rocked my world, maybe I could/should do the same with my situation at home.  God calls us to love right?ANYWAYS I began spending time with the baby, just holding her and thus spending time with the mom. 

WELL needless to say, my relationship with the mom went totally UP from there. I learned not to care what people thought of me spending time with them.  They had both become family and family sticks together and I would defeend them against whatever people threw at them.  Christmases and birthdays were highlights as were random photoshoots and just spending time with them. I began to love them


However, One thing that I knew that I had to do, is apologize to the mom for how I acted towards her initially.  While I was not one of the bad ones by far, I had no right thinking, saying and acting how I did towards her.  So one night, I was walking her and her daughter back to their place (they lived in town at this point) and I just told her I was sorry.  She asked 'for what" and I told her. I was honest with her.  I was one of those idiot people, laughing, mocking and pointing fingers.  I realized that I was not only pointing fingers at her and her daughter, but at TWO people made in God's image.  They were and still are, two of God's daughters.  two of HIS princesses. I sin. I fail. what makes me any better? God still loves me.  So why can't I be a reflection of His light? God had given me a good, swift, much needed kick in the rear end.


Today, I am BEYOND estatic to say that the relationship that I have with them both is awesome.  The mom is like the older, crazy, awesome sister that I never had and  her daughter, is like the little sister I never had. They are both crazy but i  would defend them with my whole heart.  I love em to bits.


I debated sharing this story, but I felt like it shows/proves my point and this movie that I saw, reminded me of this. We all judge someone else one way or another.  There are stereo types that right away put people at a disadvantage.  I hate it. I really do.  So, my challenge to myself and to you as the reader, is to stand up for those with stereo types against them.  Defend them. Watch yourself around them-are you one of the people pointing and laughing? if so, step back and slap yourself silly (ok not to hard but really open your eyes...) who knows what sort of an awesome relationship you are missing out on! I thank God for 'slapping' me when He did...cause I know that becasue of the relationship I now have with those two, i am a better person and have the chance to challenge and influence (hopefully for good) two more precious lives!
(and, on a more funny note, be the 'butt end' of a make over session..oh the things I do!!!  Here is to family!)

Everything

I just came across this song...perhaps it best sums up what I have been feeling/trying to say...
enjoy and let the words of praise to God sink in..

Everything

here are just a few of the lyrics:

God in my living, 
there in my breathing  
God in my waking, 
God in my sleeping 
God in my resting, there in my working 
God in my thinking, 
God in my speaking

Selfish...pt. 2

I want to share a bit of a story, something that I wrestled with this last week.  I was reminded at the importance of attitude and yes, it has to do with being selfish as well.  As much as I try (some days, more than other) to have a good attitude about work-I really dont.  For the month of august, I worked around 50 hours a week with overtime-which was fine as I knew (and was expecting too) work that.  However, come September now, I was anticipating back to normal 9-5:30 hours but NO overtime sign went back up and the request for working Saturday came up.

Now, in my head I was thinking "no way, I am done working OT" BUT then my last post came to mind, but more importantly-this little 'voice' (aka God) popped into my head and told me "hello Nikki-um remember about living your life FOR ME in EVERYTHING YOU DO...I am the One you are serving, not your boss, not your work-NOTHING BUT ME" whoa ok God-i got the message loud and clear..at least I think I did.

Needless to say, I did go into work this morning and I am not saying/sharing this to brag or anything- but it proves my point from last post.  How many times in a day, do I think about "me me me".  I could have said no to going into work-and that would have been ok, do not get me wrong...but it would not have sit well with me. (again, look at how many times I said "me" in that...)

Anyways point being- to truly live for Christ, we need an attitude adjustment.  We need to re focus our line of thinking and constantly think of God.  One thing that I do love about work, that I have said before, is the fact that my job is so routine that I can pray all day (not that I do do that everyday, but I can/should).  Actually there have been many good chats I have had with God while at work which is awesome.

Thanks God, for showing yourself to me in the routine of life.  Father I know I am not perfect.  I stumble. I fall. But You pick me up.  You carry me through it all.  You always have and always will.  I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that I am excited for it.  I am excited for youth start up coming shortly and the chance to connect there and, hopefully, change lives for You.  I cannot (and will not) do that alone.  I need you to continue to walk with me.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good.  what does the Lord is required of you?  To DO Justice. LOVE mercy and WALK humbly with the LORD your God" Micah 6:8

Selfish..part 1

I AM SELFISH.  I have been realizing this lately about myself and it scares me.
I like my comfort.
I like my pay check twice a month
I like my hot showers.
I like my north american plumbing.
I like the fact that I DONT have to sleep under a mosquito net
actually, better put- I Like my nice warm bed.
I like my apartment
I like my heat in winter and my AC in summer.
I like my drivers.
I like my freedom.
I like my fridge
I like my food in my fridge.
I like my ability to be physically mobile
I like my job security
I like my health insurance/coverage
I like my free health care
I like my education that I had
I like my stove/microwave
I like my family (most days :P)
I like my friends
I like my internet
I like my clean drinking water
I like my ability to travel when (where) I want


I like my...I like my.. I like my... I like my....
This is just the start of the things I 'like" off the top of my head...as this list is NOT exhausted.

While the above statements are true, I hope you realized I put the "I like" parts like that, purposely to make a point (which I hope I did?!)  I realized tonight-through a new college / career evening that local people are starting, at how selfish I really am.  It is so true that this is a "me me me me me" world that we live in. 

Now I just want to say, there is NOTHING wrong with the things that I have listed above.  Friends, family, food, health care,  etc are all great but we need to change teh way we look at them.  They are gifts from God and are not to be taken forgranted of.

But it doesnt stop there.  As Christians, as Christians from ANY generation-we are called to give it up.  To give up the few things that I mentioned-for Christ.  We are called to go and make disciples.  There is no greater calling then that.  Period.

I would like to continue this topic on the blog for a bit-as I feel its a large topic and I need to do some thiking.praying on it...but for now-what are your thoughts on 'selfish'?

"A thought to grow on"

Shine for Christ.

Africa

I am torn.  Last night-I heard some news from about one of my 'kids' in Africa.  One of the girls who I met last time while I was out there, passed away this last tuesday.  Apparently she got Malaria, and although she was admitted to the hospital and treated-died within a span of 12 hours...

Upon getting that news-it really hit me and I am not quite sure what to do with it.  Since I met her last time I was there-I was super excited to head back with the team now in November and introduce her to them (she is/was one of the girls that our church is sponsoring through the home/dorm we are paying for-so an extra special connection...). 

She was one of the newer girls there when we went last year, and so she was a little quiet but we spent the day with her (and others) at a game park and started to see her Character and wow, what a character she was.  By the end of our time there, I had grown to love and cherish her just like the rest of the kids-so the loss is felt.  Yet still, I take comfort in knowing that this last year and a bit, of her life-she was loved so incredibly where she was.  A love she may not have felt/realized had she not been there.  I also take comfort in the fact that I know I will see her again.  Not on this side of Heaven, but the side where we will dance, sing, laugh and cry in a language we both will fully understand-a place where I hear there are streets of gold, where nothing but love exists. A place where we will sit before the Lord Almighty.

In the mean time, join me in praying for the kids, the workers, staff and people of SoH as they work through/go through this loss of one of their own..



That all said, this morning-I was also encouraged and the desire to return back to Zambia-was very present.  I am SO EXCITED to go back and although I will miss my 'old' team, I am excited to take this new group and share a huge piece of my heart with them (especially to show my brother!)  I am excited to see and hear how God will move in their lives.  I am excited to have my 'heart broken for what Breaks God's"

73 more days!

Going to school?

I was asked today at work, by a fellow employee, if I was returning to school this fall. My answer: no.  I thought at that point, they would drop it, but they further asked-'why not?'  I said flat out, (and to keep it simple) "I dont want to" (cause I really dont want to head back to school at this point in my life).  There are a lot of reasons for that, but right now I feel/know the main one is that God has me here, working (10 hr days lately..) and spending time in the town I grew up in.  Honestly- I love it.  I nevver thought I would hear those words/see those words come out of my lips and finger tips. 

For me, 'school' is life.  I have never liked the idea of "oh you graduated, now move to the city and go to university.  Oh you dont know what you are going for? that doesnt matter-go blow $10, 000  because its "expected' of you" idea that a LOT of people have in this town.  THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN SCHOOL!

For me: Travel is also my school.  It has been through my travel that I am who i am today.  Had I not traveled right out of high school-I really dont know where I would be now.  I think/believe its safe to say that I would NOT have gone to SBC (thus missing out on an amazing adventure there with meeting new, awesome friends, having gone up north to Oxford house, spent 2.5 weeks in Philippines OR even, have experienced a HOT HOT HOT summer in the Ukraine).  Had I not traveled right out of high school , chances are i would not have gone to Africa last year with a team in my church.  yes, I would have a fuller, complete heart now- but personally,  I like having my 'heart' spread 'across the globe". 

All I have to do, is think/remember that I literally have brothers and sisters in Christ, all from different backgrounds, races, and stories, all around the world.  Even from a world away, they lift me up. they encourage and bless me. To know I have a sister doing street ministry in the Philippines, warms my heart. Encourages me to know she is praying for ME and my ministry.  Her whole church is...people that I spent no more than 48 hrs with here on Earth's time..but I am looking forward to spending eternity with them all in Heaven :)

Its amazing

So no, this fall I am NOT going to school in the 'traditional' sense.  Rather I am going to be an extreme case and "be like Glitter ;) ) and shine for Christ right here. Right now.  I am going to take His love back to Africa, to my 'kids' there and also, be blessed by God through THEIR love as well.  Thats'  school.  There aint no text book, teacher or assignment that can teach that.
only 3 ish  more weeks till youth and
only 75ish days till my African journey begins!

Lessons from Exploding Glitter

God taught me/reminded me of something the other day at work.  He taught me this through an interesting medium...opening a box and finding a bag of silver glitter that had exploded in it-making everything else in the box-COVERED in silver glitter.
In the process of laughing, cleaning it up and getting a new box, a co worker of mine mentioned just how hard it is to get glitter off of stuff and how much it sticks to things and even days later-it is always there (seriously-this stuff intense to get off!).  So God, being who He is, showed me that that is actually how We are suppose to be-like exploding glitter.

Confused?  allow me to explain.   A few characteristics of glitter where mentioned above (hard to get off, exploding, silver (or any other colour). Yet there are also a few more characteristics of it- its shiny and sparkles.  Even in a pile of dirt-chances are you would still be able to see it.  It shines so brightly it sticks out-people notice it.

As Christians-we are suppose to be exploding glitter.  We are called to live our lives to a higher standard.  A life of which sticks out, shines and explodes for Christ.  We are SUPPOSE to be different.  We are suppose to be hard to get 'rid of' and stick to the things/people we touch.  Our lives are meant to be an example.  Other people  (complete strangers included) should be able to pass us on the streets and 'stop dead' in their tracks from having noticing something different, something special and shiny about us.  They should be able to see (and feel) the love of Christ through us, even without knowing us.

We should be 'hard to clean up' by standing FIRM in our faith, not wavering when the world throws stuff at us.  We should be able to hold another Christian accountable and pick each other up when needed without having a 'target' on our backs.  Where has the accountability gone?  Why is it so hard?

So lets shine. Let be 'like Glitter' and stick up for God.

You in?

Rejoicing in Christ

Today was one of those Sunday mornings-where any doubt that I ever had of God NOT being alive or moving-ceased to exists!  It was a morning of amazing worship (beyound the 'musical' worship sense-but that too-was great!), fellowship, celebration and rejoicing.  It was a morning of hearing testimony to God's greatness-of answered prayer and strength when there seemed to be nothing left.  Angels rejoiced as stories were told of youth picking one another up, encouraging and blessing each other, of hearing a story of another sinner repenting and the endless praise and party that must have taken place in Heaven.

Our youth team got back yesterday (but they shared today) about how God worked/moved in their lives and in the lives of the people and kids they were ministering to this last week on their missions trip.  It is a trip that our church has been doing for almost 30 years to a native/metis community just past Winnipeg.  it is a trip, that I believe, truly began MY outlook-and later-passion- with missions.  I spent a week there, each summer throughout my high school years.  In those 4 years of going back for just one week a summer-taught me, blessed me, shaped me and molded  me, into a major part of who I am today-both as a person and who I am in Christ.  It was and remains, a major Faith step in my life and for that-I am SO incredibly thankful!

It was a morning for me, that re-affirmed my choice to live/work here in town for another year.  All week, I was looking forward to seeing the youth who went again, and hearing their stories.  I was not disappointed this morning!  It started right off the hop walking in to church sanctuary. Hugs, hugs and more hugs!!  Then, of course, there was that "attack of hugs' from a couple of the girls (thanks ladies! made my morning!)..  I am truly blessed!

What a great morning.  God you are SO awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God is great...all the time God is great!

This last week, was super encouraging.  Work was/is going good (despite the fact of working now 10 hr days-but hey I need to bank time for Africa as well! So that too-is a blessing!)
But each evening this past week- was such an encouragement and blessing as well!  Seriously God is so good and I LOVE hearing how God moves and IS moving through the lives of young people-there is nothing better or more exciting then that.  To hear their stories of struggles and victories, of overcoming obstacles and trials.  Seriously amazing!  It is such a testimony to God and His greatness.
I Love hearing Testimonies from other believers-no matter what age, race or gender.  I love it how our stories are all similar, yet totally different and unique.  I love how God uses our stories to reach and teach others, to show others and to realize ourselves that we are NOT alone in this world, that yes although our struggles maybe different, we can relate most times in one way or another.  This week alone, I heard it a few times "I didnt know you went through that! I did too!", or something similar to that. 

The idea of wrestling with God, of wondering if He is there and what His plan is for my life-is a daily, constant struggle for youth, young adults and adults alike.  We need to know we are not alone in theese struggles.  We need to know that we got a community of believers who love and care for us.  Who lift each other up when needed.  THAT is Power through God.

Thank you God for loving us.  For caring for us, for lifting us up when we need it.  Thank you for sending Your Son to die for us.

Live like that

This song has been on my heart-especially this week and wow what a week its been! God is SO SO SO GOOD!! Thank you God for your love.  For your amazing GRACE and redemption!!
 I wanna live like that!

Sidewalk prophets- Live like that

God's NOT dead...He's living in the INSIDE

God's Not dead

Check out this Newsboys song...kind of catchy, kind of fun but the lyrics are pretty sweet; I heard (and saw)  a lion roar while on a safari in africa last april...WOW....sure adds a new meaning to this song!!!

God is still merciful

A friend of mine passed this link on via facebook-it is a persons personal witness/experience to the recent "dark knight rises' shooting that happened Friday.  My prayers go out to the families affected by this horror...but as the write up suggests-GOD IS still merciful.


so-you-still-think-god-is-a-merciful-god

Holiday from God

So the following is copied off something I sent to a good friend of mine from college...figured it sort of spoke to what I was/am going to write about anyways

Honestly-God and I are ok. Not really a low and not really a 'high' so to speak. Reading my bible daily is/has been harder again (not sure why cause when I DO read it, its awesome and i can feel the fire growing-so why I dont keep reading- I am not sure..devos always have been hard for me to maintain daily). I know God is still alive and moving, but lately-I've been asked some tougher questions by those around me (good questions) but they got me wondering. I have lots to pray for-but I fear my prayer life is drying up (which is scary for me as its something I have/do rely on.) I am finding that I am having to "remind myself" to focus and pray but I am also re learning that prayer and worshiping God comes in lots of different forms as well.



So with my title "Holiday from God"-it is NOT like I have called it "quits" on God..cause I've been close to that in the past and well, lets just say-never again will I be that close...


I once heard a sermon about taking a 'vacation from God'-the pastor's main point was that summer is a change of routine..there is little (if any) routine in most people's lives (cause its summer) BUT what he did say tho was, to take a 'vacation' from God, isnt good.  That too often, we do just that-put "God on hold" for the summer. 


I feel that perhaps-this is whats happening to me.  I dont want it to.  I need to/have to fight harder to draw close to GOd.  To seek HIS face. To pray more. To worship more. To read more. 


So if you can-pray. Pray that I will not fall away further from God, but that I will draw to Him.  Pray for yourself too-that you may feel and experience God in a new way this summer.  I KNOW God is very much alive and moving as even today, I saw/heard evidence of this, this evening.  Right now-its thundering and lightening like crazy out there...that in itself, is a testimony to the power of my God!


Holiday from God? I am crazy.  I am totally and completely lost without Him.  This is one holiday that I do NOT want to be on.

picture post

Church

What an interesting day (to say the least today).  I was quite looking forward to church this morning because I hadnt been there yet at all this month! crazy I know! Not that I am using these as an excuse-but I sort of am...one weekend was long weekend (I was gone), and last weekend was our church conference in a different town-so our services were cancelled.  BUT point being, I was quite looking forward to heading back and worshiping with people there.  I had no idea how interesting the day would be...

I woke up to a nice rain (which, after having like +35 for 3 weeks, was a welcome blessing), went to church and discovered the pews I grew up sitting on, where gone.  Instead-there were chairs! weird! I knew our church sold the old pews and are getting new chairs (good use of money? another topic for another time)-but point being-that really threw me for a loop...church almost seemed "less welcoming?" if that makes sense?

The service was really good and the worship (music part) was good as well. Actually the service was on "worship" and what it is (another discussion for another day) but it was still a good service! well done Ryan!

So, like normal after church I stuck around a bit and was one of the last ones to leave...went to go look for my jacket and well, long story short-my jacket got 'taken' (for lack of better word)...Im thinking someone accidently grabbed it instead as there was another lone jacket there when I looked...so i biked home (in the rain) and ended up going back to attach a note to the other jacket..BUT it was NOT there!!!!!!! One would think that if the person realized they took the wrong one...would bring the other one back too when they went to go get theres...

Now really, I dont really care.  its just a jacket..but the thing that sucks-is that my keys (work included) were on a landyard in my pocket in my jacket (usually keep those in my pant pocket, but for some reason today-figured they would be fine in my jacket-ironic eh?)  Praise God I have an extra house key and will just get a new work key tomorrow.

What a way to start the day


middle of the day was good

I left my parents to head home later in the evening and discovered a small leak in my bike tire (mode of transportation to work...) great.  Thank you God for dad's!  Although my parents were gone, when they got back, my dad patched my tire...so I am hoping its good to go still tomorrow!

needless to say-I will be glad when today is over-maybe it will go better tomorrow?

Going for needles later this week (travel needles)..could be an interesting week!!

A look back

I spent some time this morning-going through stuff in my room (which is a scary process) and came across some interesting stuff.  What do I do with years of notes, letters and misc. things like that from friends?  Like most people, I had to take time to just sit back and read through some of them and WOW was I encouraged!  I found one from my older brother that I read for the first time when I flew out to capernwray in 2007 and, just like it did then, brought a tear to my eye.  A lot of what he wrote in there at the time, was true and remains true to this day.  Psalm 121 was quoted and it is actually the psalm I memorized while at Holsby Brunn in Sweden.  It is a psalm I have come to love and take to heart.  Yet relationships are an interesting thing-because not much as changed (other than the fact of getting older) between my older brother and I...that fact-is very sad.

I found some other ones from my first while at SBC.  Notes from friends who 'nailed it dead on' with what they wrote as well.  Encouragements that were super encouraging at the time, as well as now.  Notes now, that are just as encouraging today.  Notes that make me wonder "how in the world did they see that in me when I was so incredibly lost at the time".  Interesting how that works.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. 

Hebrews 3:13

Its scriptural-to encourage and to bless-so that we dont become hardened by sin.  These notes reminded me of that-they encouraged ME to do that-to encourage others.  It is an approach I have taken with people around me, specifically (hopefully) the youth.   Is it always easy? not really because we are all human but is it worth it? TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY!!! So go out, go encourage someone around you.

Awesome God

God is pretty awesome.  Enough said :)

Grad....

grad came and went yesterday-it was great! I'm so proud of all my graduate 'kids' :)
but for now-the sun (and beach) is calling my name!!!
have a super long weekend all!

Remember when...

June is often a time of remembrance in my life.  The month of June has played some major roles throughout the course of my life (and often is, one of the busiest months as well for myself)
It was in June-6 years a go that I graduated from high school and life "began'
It was in June 5 years a go that I returned from my first stint overseas-at a place still dear to my heart-A place that started me on this journey to become who I am today-it takes it places as a large red building with the look of a barn to it, nestled in southern Sweden-filled with laughter, new (yummy) foods and special people who I still call friends today. Holsby brunn-I miss you-thank you for stretching me and starting to mold me!
It was in June 3 years ago that I left for my second stint overseas-Ukraine 2009-where I served God at a kids/teens camp despite not knowing their language.  It is here where I met some awesome missionaries-dedicated to their call that God has on their life.  I met a small, but POWERFUL church doing amazing things in a city that desperately needs God.  Thank you to the Sumy Grace church for challenging me, accepting me (a foreigner) as one of your 'own' and allowing me to observe, partake and serve God alongside you.  It was an honour.  Keep fighting the Good fight!

It is June this year (2012) that my little brother graduates from high school... for that-I am SO incredibly thankful.  There was never really any doubt in my mind that he would not graduate-I just never imagined that we would have the sort of relationship we have now.  Often-through my travels and college experiences-I would hear of other people and their close relationships with their siblings and I would envy them-I craved a relationship like that, with my own siblings.
God knew this and was working the entire time. 
I remember one time in college, during a prayer time with my roommate-just askign that God would work/heal my relationship specifically with my little brother.  I think part of the problem was, was that we were/are so much alike that we 'clash'.  God heard our cries.

I've said before, I have LOVED workign with youth these last two years-and its totally been a blessing-BUT what has been MORE of a blessing-is being able to see/get to know my brother on a different level.  To actually realize how special and awesome he is (yes I am ALLOWED to be biased).  To see him up there, sharing his heart, leading worship, praying out and choosing to get baptized and make a public stand for Christ-never had me prouder to be his big sister.  too see how young kids, both girls and boys-relate to him and how their faces just lite up when he bends down to their level, or lifts them up or gets 'chased' by them- warms my heart.  The term- "friendly giant' comes to mind.

To be able to hug him in public and to have him, return the hug even if his friends are watching-is worth so much.  For him to pray alongside me the few times we have kneeled together before YAHWEH, is worth more than Gold/silver could ever afford.


To be able to talk about faith with him and, hopefully, encourage him as he has encouraged me-has been great and to get a simple, silver cross necklace from him while he was on his trip to London, UK-reminds me of the faith that has bonded and united us.  Something MUCH greater than a sibling bond can/will ever be.

We went out the other day to shoot some grad pictures for him in his suite.  The followign are just a few of the ones I like-I tell yah..this

superstar with his stick-gonna miss watching you play kiddo!

dont worry-he didnt smash it!

Freedom for being done school!

Just because he is graduating-doesnt mean he's gotta mature! :P

Musician and hockey player-but little brother FIRST!!

I am thankful.  I am SO very thankful for the relationship that God has taken hold of and has started to sew together with His Majestic hands.  It is a 'late' project in the works-one that I wish would have started 17 years a go-but they say "better late than never' and now I know that it will be firmly planted in Christ-something that cannnot/will not be broken.




Happy Grad little brother!!
Love you lots!

(p.s now get out there and CHANGE THAT WORLD for CHRIST! :) )

Saying 'good bye'

We had our youth grad party last night.
Last year's group was hard to say 'bye' too...
this year's will be (is) even harder....

Thanks guys for blessing my life the way you have! You WILL be missed!

sara and shayna

a very fun ride in with these gals!

goof balls!

the gang!

God is Good.

God is good.  I have to keep reminding myself of that.
I found out yesterday morning-that a friend of mine-her mom's cancer is back.  This time, its in the brain.  She has beaten it once before-when the doctors did not know how long she would be around.  This time too-they are not sure how long she has. 

So I ask you-pray.  Pray for her.  Pray for her family.  Later this year, she will become a grandma too, for the first time, and a mother in law once again (a mother in law to a super good friend of mine from college I might add) so there is a lot of fun, joy and excitement to look forward to in the near future.

Cancer sucks.  I hate it.  Hate is a strong word-but in this case-it is not strong enough.  If I could wipe out Cancer-I would-in a heart beat.  It has stolen to many people from me already, robbed to many good, young people from a full life.

I know we are not suppose to ask why-but why?

God is good.  I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Elijah

So I am in the process of reading through the Old and New Testament this year and I am currently in 1 Kings 18 (I jump back and forth between Old and New as per my reading guide). Anyways- 1 Kings 18 is a story of an awesome prophet named Elijah.  Basically-in this story- Elijah mocks, taunts and ultimately KICKS the prophets of baal's butt on Mount Caramel (or, for those that went to SBC with me and were in Prof Gord's OT class-will know this story as Mount "Caramilk"-Thanks Prof Gord!).  So I am reading this story and I feel like cheering! woot woot! Go God GO!!!

I am thinking the senerio is sort of like a sporting type event-picturing people with posters (ok not really) but you know cheering on their 'team'--but wait here comes Elijah-telling them to gather more people and pray/yell at their god louder and louder-then he begins to mock and taunt them (talk about embarrassing on their end!!) So after many failed attempt of the Baal prophets attempting to call on their 'god'-Elijah adds salt to their wounds and embarrassment by getting them too dumpy 3 large things of water on the bull at the Lord's alter.  Enter the star player of Elijahs team-YAHWEH!!  Elijah prays and Yahweh is there-in a ball of fire that consumes not only the bull and alter-but the water in the trenches around it!  Crazy eh?  So sweet!  Amazing power.  THAT is MY GOD.

Take that prophets of baal.

MY God is greater, MYGod is stronger
God You are higher than any other
MY God is Healer, awesome and power
MY God, MY God...  

Answer

Busy.  That sums up life now.  That will sum life up for the next few weeks as well!  But it is a good busy.  Friends.  Family.  Youth. God.

Some days tho-my head feels as though it is spinning and I cant catch up.  I still gotta give my final answer by Friday and I think I know what I am going to say and the peace-that I THOUGHT I would have with leaving in January, I now have with leaving later.  So this is not like I have said no to going-I just feel that to leave in Jan-is not the smart move.

I realized that my motives (partially) were/are wrong.  Once I get something in my mind-my mind is made up and I am doing it-no questions asked.  Although it gets stuff done-it is the wrong way to do it.  So with this-my thinking was/is that I have no right to challenge my youth girls to 'get out' be stretched and moved-when I myself cannot do it.  This was/is a concept that I have really wrestled with.

So I was talking to my lead pastor and wife the other day and was explaining some of this to them and he pointed out a fact to me that I had not thought of yet.  He pointed out to me, that this was/is a discerning process and can/does appreciate the steps that I have taking and that that in itself-is a witness and testimony to those around me.

Now the process of actually giving my aanswer to Adventures in Missions and letting the people around me know-fun and games!

BUT-bring on Africa and another youth year!!!
The best thing is-GOD IS GOOD! GOD IS FAITHFUL. GOD IS LOVE

A good Slap in the face

 "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
  Luke 12:6-7

I just got a good 'slap in the face' from God. 
I am in the back yard at my parents now and its a beautiful evening out (and such a great day!) and mom sees this wren (a type of bird) flying in and out of her snow man bird house.  So we spend some time just watching this wren fly in and out-each time with a small piece of stick or something.  It is clear that the bird is building a nest.  So as we are watching this, I am remembering the bible study I had with my girls last sunday-where the focus was these two verses found in Luke and in Matthew.  God loves me (and YOU) so very much.  Simply watching this wren-how it went back and forth bit by bit-no worries and so care free...I could almost feel God "upstairs" in Heaven looking down at me and saying "remember Nikki, I love you MORE then I love that wren.  I know the NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD-yet you dont trust me with your life?  My daughter, you are worth FAR more that that bird-yet look at how I care for it--Dont you think that I dont care for you more?  Crazy child!  Where is your 'child like faith?'  I love you. I LOVE YOU"

Do you know what it feels like to be loved by the Creator? Pretty darn awesome amazing!!!  You should try it-seek God, feel His love and warm embrace.  Allow Him to speak to you and through you and through His creation.  He craves a relationship with you.  He is waiting for you.

²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.^{[a] 30} And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.Matthew 10:28-30

June 1 Ramblings

To Go...or not to go?  THAT is the question.  It is time to do a "self' Check.  Why do I /am I going on this experience? WHO am I doing it for?What reasons?  Am I over analyzing this all?

Whoa ok Nikki, back up.  I have applied/been accepted to "the World Race" .  What it basically is, is serving God in 11 different countries, for 11 months-that is the short of it.  I have prayed about it,  I have talked to people about it and part of me is like "yep ok I am so ready to go!" then reality kicks it (or rather, fear) and I do not know what to do. 

Honestly- I am quite surprised at myself that I have not gotten "antsy" sooner-and the fact that I am debating/wrestling this hard now to with deciding yes or no-has me quite curious.  I did not think I would be around Altona this long, AND to make things even more odd-I also didnt think I would be ENJOYING it here either.  I know God says "Go" but what if He also says "Stay?". 

I love working with youth- I love youth ministry.  I never thought I would think that.  I knew youth are awesome and fun to hang around and what not-but I didnt think that God would "break my heart" right here at home like He has.  This has me quite torn because I know the need for missions overseas, but I have also been opened to the need right here at home- Discipling the next generation to be strong Christian Leaders.
I still feel as tho God is using me here.  Just from the different feedback I have heard from second hand, as well as first hand-has me encouraged and gives me the drive to want to keep going.  I know it takes a year or two to get situated in it/build relationships-but after those first two years or so-its awesome.  I am one week away from finishing my second year of being involved in youth ministry and like I said, I can see how relationships with the youth have changed from "having fun and being silly" or deep God talks and really connecting (course it depends on the youth as well) and i feel that my third year, will just bring more of it (hopefully).  Dare I say I feel CONTENT?!!?  Scary thought coming from me.

and Yes my job isnt ideal (nor fun always, nor do I always like going in to work) and I dont want to be there my entire life, but it is a job and it is/can be a ministry all in itself. 

Now, I am not shutting the World RACE idea down-but instead-maybe just postponing it.  They send out different teams 3 times a year (Jan. July. Sept) and the one I have been accepted for-leaves in Jan.  This means oonly doing a little less then half a youth year (less still cause I am gone to Africa in Nov. with my church again) and I am not sure how I feel about that. 

SO SOLUTION:  start/finish another youth year and then leave next july! best of both worlds! :)

choices

Choices suck.  Choices are hard.  Choices/Decisions need to be made.  I don't know if I will make the right one.  Yet I know God will use it, and me-no matter what I choose.

Blessed pt.2

Whew
Crazy afternoon since I posted the last post!!!
It's gonna be so hard to leave come Jan.  (yes yes I know I have said that a lot and you might be/are already sick of me typing that-BUT IT IS TRUE!)

I think that that is why this choice, the decision to "go" is so hard.  This afternoon-reminded me of that.  It reminded me of the work/need that is right here at home as well.  The need to build up, to encourage and disciple those around us-is ALWAYS there.  It is always present no matter where we are.  No matter what side of the globe we are on.

Recently, I was asked what my motives were/are for going in Jan.  Was it to travel? Do missions? see the world? Serve God?  The answer, I soon realized, is all of the above.  I WANT to travel.  I WANT to do Missions.   I WANT to see the world.  Most importantly- I WANT TO SERVE GOD.

I know I am.  Right here. Right now.  I am not questioning that.  I am not. If I was questioning it, it would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier to 'up and go'.

I realized lately too-is that I dont want my faith to be something that I do "sunday morning". I want to live it.  I want to embrace it.  I know i will fail.  I know I will mess up.  But I have to keep focus on Christ.

I saw a Facebook posted the other day-that read something like this "I would love to Go for coffee with God right now and just embrace all His wisdom and teachings-to just soak it in"

This got me thinking-how awesome would that be?  BUT YET-God is not far away.  We dont have to do something "magical" to draw near to Him or see Him.  We have the TRUTH.  We have His WORD.  We have the Bible.  It is the word of God.  THen and always.  IF we want to know Him, read scripture-that tells us who He is and what He calls us to do.  We have nature.  One look outside.  Look at the stars. Look at the sands.  Look at your head of hair!  HE KNOWS THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then you try to tell me that there is no God?  that God doesnt love me? I want to laugh at you.

  You say that 'we evolved from monkeys?'  Really?  Are you serious?  We are created in HIS image. HIS IMAGE-how amazingly awesome is that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Really.  Stop and think about it.

Thhink about how much your Creator loves you.

Be still.  Know that HE IS GOD.