A Tough Week (re-discovering Jesus' Living Hope)

I cannot remember the last time I wanted a week to be over as much as I did this past week.  Truth be told- it was a crummy week.  I tried to wake up each morning with the notion that ‘yesterday had passed’ and that ‘today is a brand new day’.  That worked for about the first 90 seconds of being awake.  I couldn’t (and still can’t) “peg” exactly what was going on but this past week did remind me that I am very much human and that I need to learn how to deal with whatever  “it” was.

More importantly- I was reminded of the Living HOPE that we have in Jesus through a guest speaker on our weekly senior youth night.  Ironically enough, this guest speaker was also a past youth leader- someone who I served alongside with for 4 years in youth ministry.  Because of this, I knew of some of the pain and hurt that was shared.  I knew their faith was (is) strong and I admire(d) them for it.  

The message for the evening was simply called “hope” based from 1 Peter 1:3-9.  When I read the subheading in the NIV, “Praise to God for a Living Hope”, I knew instantly that this message was directed at me. 

As I listened, I could feel God convicting me.  Now, I should clarify.  I knew that God was NOT judging or condemning me but rather, the conviction that I felt came out of a Holy, loving, and hopeful place.  It was this... “Nikki- I see your hurt and I feel your pain.  In your weakness, allow ME to become your Strength.  Remember, in this world-you WILL have troubles.  Take a step back, relax, breathe and, as hard as it maybe, seek My face.  Or have you forgotten that I have overcome the world (John 16:33).  I won’t leave you.  I never will.  Spend time getting to know ME once again and allow my Living Hope to flow through you and within you”

Sounds simple right? Spend time with God and all will work out.  Never again will I have a bad day, let alone a bad week? Hold on.  STOP. PAUSE.  

Did you (I) miss the reference to how we WILL have troubles in this world? John16:31-33 says “Jesus answered them, “Do you finally believe? In fact, you’re about to make a run for it-saving your own skins and abandoning me.  But I am not abandoned.  The Father is with me.  I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace.  In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties.  But take heart! I’ve conquered the world” (The Message). 

I believe.  I do.  I wouldn’t be where I am today, without Jesus.  Without that Living Hope and that deep peace that He alone offers.  Yet why do I often feel as tho I am running to save my own skin and abandoning that Living Hope and Peace in the process?  I know Jesus but I was reminded that I need to continue to KNOW Jesus each and every day.  I cannot (will not) put my trust, or hope, in someone I do not know.

The question was raised, “How do we get to know someone? How do best friends become best friends when everyone we meet, starts off as a complete stranger?”  Simple.  We spend time together.  We get to KNOW each other through learning about one another.  It can be simple, basic things such as favourite colour or animal.  From there, as we spend time with one another, trust slowly begins to be built.  Soon deeper, more personal, things are shared between the friends, both trusting the other to maintain that level of trust.  Honestly, it’s a risk.  It’s a chance that must be taken for something that is genuine and real.  I want Jesus to, once again, become my best friend. 

I am well aware of what God was convicting me to do in my own relationship with Him.  It is something that I know has been lacking and it has been lacking a LOT.  Honestly, a part of me has lost my ‘zeal’ for all things God related but I also know that the Spirit is very willing but the flesh is so weak.  This past week- my flesh definitely won, but that doesn’t mean I am defeated.  Why?  In Jesus, I have a LIVING HOPE and its time I start to embrace it once again.  

I recently picked up “The Message” version of the Bible and I am LOVING reading it.  I cannot get enough of it.  As I re-discover stories I’ve heard thousands of times before, I learning to re-embrace Jesus’ living Hope inside of me.  

This.  This is what God was calling me to do. 

To slow down.  To Trust Him.

To pray and to spend intimate time with Him.

To rediscover His amazing Love and

To allow His Living Hope to reside in me once again

Seasons of Change (God's Grace)

.I forgot how much I missed the changing of seasons; specifically winter to spring and summer to fall.  There is a sense of awe and wonder that I get as I watch the bare trees slowly start to get their buds back and, before you know it, those buds blossom into flowers or leaves.  Flowers that will later turn into young fruit as it begins to reach maturity.  Leaves that will grow large and provide shade from the intensity of the summer heat, to the earth below.  Within the change from summer to fall; those young fruits will become food to humans and animals alike, providing valuable nutrients to the body.  Those leaves that once provided shelter, will turn brilliant colours of red, oranges, yellows and more before knowing that they must fall to the ground because if they were to stay on the tree throughout the winter, the weight of the snow upon them, may pull down the entire tree.
Today is May 29, 2016.  It's early Sunday afternoon.  Church this morning consisted of familiar pews, youth led worship and a message spoken in English by a local pastor.  Lunch followed and I can now feel the cool breeze, mixed with the warmth of the sun, upon my skin.  The leaves are out and the birds are singing and in this moment, I find my mind wandering back to a small plot of land; filled with laughter and sounds of joy coming from 150+ kids.  May 29, 2015 I was in another country, in a very different part of the world.  The ground I walked upon wasn't filled with green grass, rather the ground mainly consisted of rocks and sand.  Instead of young apples on the fruit trees, I would find myself under the massive leaves of the banana trees.  My Sunday's consisted of 'kid led' churches followed by afternoons of photoshoots and bible study time with the young teens.  As I pause to reflect where I am now, to where I was last year this time, I miss those 'carefree moments', my 'kids' and everything that came with it and I know that apart of me will always yearn to be back at my 'home away from home'. 

Ironically enough, I am once again finding myself in a season of change despite the fact that really nothing in my life HAS changed.  I am still in the same town, working the same job as I have been now for the last 10 months, attending the same church, hanging out with the same youth 'kids', walking the same streets I've walked basically all my life, frequenting the same small town coffee shops where everyone knows everyone and waking up each morning to basically the same routine each and everyday. Here's the thing though, I LOVE IT and there is no place I'd rather be than right here, right now.

So what is this 'season of change' that I am in?  In short; its learning (and then embracing) the change of the little things in life.  Things like the seasons physically changing from one to another.  It is learning to 'see' God differently and to seek Him in the 'normalcy' of everyday life.  It has been amazing really, as I have learned to slowly open myself up to Him more and more within the last 10  months since returning from Africa last July.  Through the recent journey, there have been many ups and downs along the way.  There have been moments where I could do nothing but pray in desperation while there have been other moments of giving thanks and rejoicing in the victories that were won.  It has not been a journey I have walked alone as God continues to put 'random' people in my life at the precise right time.  People that He has used (and continues to use) to challenge, support and encourage me in my own walk with Him (whether they realize it or not).  Through this process, He continues to remind me that He created us for community, to live in relationship with one another and, ultimately, HIM. 

As I look Heavenly ward towards the sky, I can see the bright white clouds passing by across the blue sky, taking on a variety of shapes and forms along the way.  Even in that, God's fingerprint is evident.  In the season of change that I am finding myself in; a new 'realization' comes to mind...every breath that we take, is a gift.  It is a precious gift that we do not deserve or are of worth to receive. 

But isn't that what God's Grace and, ultimately, love is all about? I am convinced now more than ever before; that HE is LORD and my lips will praise Him no matter what season I find myself in.  With every breath HE graciously gives me, I will proclaim who He is.  My life is His and His alone.

All the Poor and Powerless

 I see the poverty all around me.  Kids, who should be in school getting an education, are working in the sugar cane fields all hours of the day.  Old men selling newspapers on the side of a busy road.  African markets that can only be defined as Chaos.  Women who sit on a dusty sidewalk day in and day out, selling fruits and vegetables to passerby’s.  Their young babies sleep on the ground next to them with nothing more than a sack cloth as a ‘bed’.  None of this is ‘new’ to me.  I’ve seen it before. From the streets here in Zambia, to the most southern tip of South Africa.  I saw it time and time again in the far corners of South East Asia, to the mountain tops in Nepal, the bustling streets of India and the prairies of Eastern Europe. 

Yet God still loves to humble me in the most powerful ways.
 

 Every morning on our 45 minute bus ride commute to Grace, one of the teachers leads out in a prayer and a short devotion.  Every day, the children/youth at Grace Academy are prayed for collectively by their teachers (how COOL is that!) and each day, God has spoken to me through the words He has given them.  One morning devotion stuck out to me in particular this past week.

The teacher leading it (who is a national Zambian), spoke on the physical poverty around us and about the importance of reaching out, serving what we (North America) would call ‘the least of these’. The message itself, was not new to me.   

Yet how it was ‘delivered’, was.  To hear it ‘preached from the pulpit’, over a podcast or even a discussion among close friends, is one thing.  BUT to hear it from an individual who knows what physical poverty is all too well, in a culture that is rampaged by it…I am having a hard time fully explaining the lesson God had for me, in that moment.

God did not stop there though.  He kept me ‘on my knees’.

Although the teacher talked on physical poverty, she focused more on spiritual poverty of this area, the people and of the continent of Africa as a whole.  This shocked my musungu self.  One thing, in my mind, that African culture does NOT lack, is spiritual poverty.  That is one of the things I’ve come to love (and greatly respect) about Africans who are Christian have a very personal, intimate relationship with Jesus.  To me, their spiritual lives are NOT lacking in any sense of the word.  Jesus (God) literally consumes them in everything they do. 

Hearing these words from this teacher that morning, stopped me ‘dead in my tracks’.  Her message was simply and short, but her point was crystal clear.  Our personal spiritual walks with God is a life long journey and process.  Until the day HE returns, we never will be fully complete.  Without Him consistently being our focus, hope, freedom and love of every moment of every day, we will continue to be spiritually hungry.  We will be panting for a spiritual thirst. Simply put, though our bodies may keep living, spiritually we will die from the poverty that affects us all.  Regardless of which country you live in or the colour of your skin.