.I forgot how much I missed the changing of seasons; specifically winter to spring and summer to fall. There is a sense of awe and wonder that I get as I watch the bare trees slowly start to get their buds back and, before you know it, those buds blossom into flowers or leaves. Flowers that will later turn into young fruit as it begins to reach maturity. Leaves that will grow large and provide shade from the intensity of the summer heat, to the earth below. Within the change from summer to fall; those young fruits will become food to humans and animals alike, providing valuable nutrients to the body. Those leaves that once provided shelter, will turn brilliant colours of red, oranges, yellows and more before knowing that they must fall to the ground because if they were to stay on the tree throughout the winter, the weight of the snow upon them, may pull down the entire tree.
Today is May 29, 2016. It's early Sunday afternoon. Church this morning consisted of familiar pews, youth led worship and a message spoken in English by a local pastor. Lunch followed and I can now feel the cool breeze, mixed with the warmth of the sun, upon my skin. The leaves are out and the birds are singing and in this moment, I find my mind wandering back to a small plot of land; filled with laughter and sounds of joy coming from 150+ kids. May 29, 2015 I was in another country, in a very different part of the world. The ground I walked upon wasn't filled with green grass, rather the ground mainly consisted of rocks and sand. Instead of young apples on the fruit trees, I would find myself under the massive leaves of the banana trees. My Sunday's consisted of 'kid led' churches followed by afternoons of photoshoots and bible study time with the young teens. As I pause to reflect where I am now, to where I was last year this time, I miss those 'carefree moments', my 'kids' and everything that came with it and I know that apart of me will always yearn to be back at my 'home away from home'.
Ironically enough, I am once again finding myself in a season of change despite the fact that really nothing in my life HAS changed. I am still in the same town, working the same job as I have been now for the last 10 months, attending the same church, hanging out with the same youth 'kids', walking the same streets I've walked basically all my life, frequenting the same small town coffee shops where everyone knows everyone and waking up each morning to basically the same routine each and everyday. Here's the thing though, I LOVE IT and there is no place I'd rather be than right here, right now.
So what is this 'season of change' that I am in? In short; its learning (and then embracing) the change of the little things in life. Things like the seasons physically changing from one to another. It is learning to 'see' God differently and to seek Him in the 'normalcy' of everyday life. It has been amazing really, as I have learned to slowly open myself up to Him more and more within the last 10 months since returning from Africa last July. Through the recent journey, there have been many ups and downs along the way. There have been moments where I could do nothing but pray in desperation while there have been other moments of giving thanks and rejoicing in the victories that were won. It has not been a journey I have walked alone as God continues to put 'random' people in my life at the precise right time. People that He has used (and continues to use) to challenge, support and encourage me in my own walk with Him (whether they realize it or not). Through this process, He continues to remind me that He created us for community, to live in relationship with one another and, ultimately, HIM.
As I look Heavenly ward towards the sky, I can see the bright white clouds passing by across the blue sky, taking on a variety of shapes and forms along the way. Even in that, God's fingerprint is evident. In the season of change that I am finding myself in; a new 'realization' comes to mind...every breath that we take, is a gift. It is a precious gift that we do not deserve or are of worth to receive.
But isn't that what God's Grace and, ultimately, love is all about? I am convinced now more than ever before; that HE is LORD and my lips will praise Him no matter what season I find myself in. With every breath HE graciously gives me, I will proclaim who He is. My life is His and His alone.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Saturday, June 02, 2012
A good Slap in the face
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
Luke 12:6-7
I just got a good 'slap in the face' from God.
I am in the back yard at my parents now and its a beautiful evening out (and such a great day!) and mom sees this wren (a type of bird) flying in and out of her snow man bird house. So we spend some time just watching this wren fly in and out-each time with a small piece of stick or something. It is clear that the bird is building a nest. So as we are watching this, I am remembering the bible study I had with my girls last sunday-where the focus was these two verses found in Luke and in Matthew. God loves me (and YOU) so very much. Simply watching this wren-how it went back and forth bit by bit-no worries and so care free...I could almost feel God "upstairs" in Heaven looking down at me and saying "remember Nikki, I love you MORE then I love that wren. I know the NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD-yet you dont trust me with your life? My daughter, you are worth FAR more that that bird-yet look at how I care for it--Dont you think that I dont care for you more? Crazy child! Where is your 'child like faith?' I love you. I LOVE YOU"
Do you know what it feels like to be loved by the Creator? Pretty darn awesome amazing!!! You should try it-seek God, feel His love and warm embrace. Allow Him to speak to you and through you and through His creation. He craves a relationship with you. He is waiting for you.
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.Matthew 10:28-30
Luke 12:6-7
I just got a good 'slap in the face' from God.
I am in the back yard at my parents now and its a beautiful evening out (and such a great day!) and mom sees this wren (a type of bird) flying in and out of her snow man bird house. So we spend some time just watching this wren fly in and out-each time with a small piece of stick or something. It is clear that the bird is building a nest. So as we are watching this, I am remembering the bible study I had with my girls last sunday-where the focus was these two verses found in Luke and in Matthew. God loves me (and YOU) so very much. Simply watching this wren-how it went back and forth bit by bit-no worries and so care free...I could almost feel God "upstairs" in Heaven looking down at me and saying "remember Nikki, I love you MORE then I love that wren. I know the NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD-yet you dont trust me with your life? My daughter, you are worth FAR more that that bird-yet look at how I care for it--Dont you think that I dont care for you more? Crazy child! Where is your 'child like faith?' I love you. I LOVE YOU"
Do you know what it feels like to be loved by the Creator? Pretty darn awesome amazing!!! You should try it-seek God, feel His love and warm embrace. Allow Him to speak to you and through you and through His creation. He craves a relationship with you. He is waiting for you.
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[a] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.Matthew 10:28-30
Friday, June 01, 2012
June 1 Ramblings
To Go...or not to go? THAT is the question. It is time to do a "self' Check. Why do I /am I going on this experience? WHO am I doing it for?What reasons? Am I over analyzing this all?
Whoa ok Nikki, back up. I have applied/been accepted to "the World Race" . What it basically is, is serving God in 11 different countries, for 11 months-that is the short of it. I have prayed about it, I have talked to people about it and part of me is like "yep ok I am so ready to go!" then reality kicks it (or rather, fear) and I do not know what to do.
Honestly- I am quite surprised at myself that I have not gotten "antsy" sooner-and the fact that I am debating/wrestling this hard now to with deciding yes or no-has me quite curious. I did not think I would be around Altona this long, AND to make things even more odd-I also didnt think I would be ENJOYING it here either. I know God says "Go" but what if He also says "Stay?".
I love working with youth- I love youth ministry. I never thought I would think that. I knew youth are awesome and fun to hang around and what not-but I didnt think that God would "break my heart" right here at home like He has. This has me quite torn because I know the need for missions overseas, but I have also been opened to the need right here at home- Discipling the next generation to be strong Christian Leaders.
I still feel as tho God is using me here. Just from the different feedback I have heard from second hand, as well as first hand-has me encouraged and gives me the drive to want to keep going. I know it takes a year or two to get situated in it/build relationships-but after those first two years or so-its awesome. I am one week away from finishing my second year of being involved in youth ministry and like I said, I can see how relationships with the youth have changed from "having fun and being silly" or deep God talks and really connecting (course it depends on the youth as well) and i feel that my third year, will just bring more of it (hopefully). Dare I say I feel CONTENT?!!? Scary thought coming from me.
and Yes my job isnt ideal (nor fun always, nor do I always like going in to work) and I dont want to be there my entire life, but it is a job and it is/can be a ministry all in itself.
Now, I am not shutting the World RACE idea down-but instead-maybe just postponing it. They send out different teams 3 times a year (Jan. July. Sept) and the one I have been accepted for-leaves in Jan. This means oonly doing a little less then half a youth year (less still cause I am gone to Africa in Nov. with my church again) and I am not sure how I feel about that.
SO SOLUTION: start/finish another youth year and then leave next july! best of both worlds! :)
Whoa ok Nikki, back up. I have applied/been accepted to "the World Race" . What it basically is, is serving God in 11 different countries, for 11 months-that is the short of it. I have prayed about it, I have talked to people about it and part of me is like "yep ok I am so ready to go!" then reality kicks it (or rather, fear) and I do not know what to do.
Honestly- I am quite surprised at myself that I have not gotten "antsy" sooner-and the fact that I am debating/wrestling this hard now to with deciding yes or no-has me quite curious. I did not think I would be around Altona this long, AND to make things even more odd-I also didnt think I would be ENJOYING it here either. I know God says "Go" but what if He also says "Stay?".
I love working with youth- I love youth ministry. I never thought I would think that. I knew youth are awesome and fun to hang around and what not-but I didnt think that God would "break my heart" right here at home like He has. This has me quite torn because I know the need for missions overseas, but I have also been opened to the need right here at home- Discipling the next generation to be strong Christian Leaders.
I still feel as tho God is using me here. Just from the different feedback I have heard from second hand, as well as first hand-has me encouraged and gives me the drive to want to keep going. I know it takes a year or two to get situated in it/build relationships-but after those first two years or so-its awesome. I am one week away from finishing my second year of being involved in youth ministry and like I said, I can see how relationships with the youth have changed from "having fun and being silly" or deep God talks and really connecting (course it depends on the youth as well) and i feel that my third year, will just bring more of it (hopefully). Dare I say I feel CONTENT?!!? Scary thought coming from me.
and Yes my job isnt ideal (nor fun always, nor do I always like going in to work) and I dont want to be there my entire life, but it is a job and it is/can be a ministry all in itself.
Now, I am not shutting the World RACE idea down-but instead-maybe just postponing it. They send out different teams 3 times a year (Jan. July. Sept) and the one I have been accepted for-leaves in Jan. This means oonly doing a little less then half a youth year (less still cause I am gone to Africa in Nov. with my church again) and I am not sure how I feel about that.
SO SOLUTION: start/finish another youth year and then leave next july! best of both worlds! :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Blessed pt.2
Whew
Crazy afternoon since I posted the last post!!!
It's gonna be so hard to leave come Jan. (yes yes I know I have said that a lot and you might be/are already sick of me typing that-BUT IT IS TRUE!)
I think that that is why this choice, the decision to "go" is so hard. This afternoon-reminded me of that. It reminded me of the work/need that is right here at home as well. The need to build up, to encourage and disciple those around us-is ALWAYS there. It is always present no matter where we are. No matter what side of the globe we are on.
Recently, I was asked what my motives were/are for going in Jan. Was it to travel? Do missions? see the world? Serve God? The answer, I soon realized, is all of the above. I WANT to travel. I WANT to do Missions. I WANT to see the world. Most importantly- I WANT TO SERVE GOD.
I know I am. Right here. Right now. I am not questioning that. I am not. If I was questioning it, it would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier to 'up and go'.
I realized lately too-is that I dont want my faith to be something that I do "sunday morning". I want to live it. I want to embrace it. I know i will fail. I know I will mess up. But I have to keep focus on Christ.
I saw a Facebook posted the other day-that read something like this "I would love to Go for coffee with God right now and just embrace all His wisdom and teachings-to just soak it in"
This got me thinking-how awesome would that be? BUT YET-God is not far away. We dont have to do something "magical" to draw near to Him or see Him. We have the TRUTH. We have His WORD. We have the Bible. It is the word of God. THen and always. IF we want to know Him, read scripture-that tells us who He is and what He calls us to do. We have nature. One look outside. Look at the stars. Look at the sands. Look at your head of hair! HE KNOWS THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then you try to tell me that there is no God? that God doesnt love me? I want to laugh at you.
You say that 'we evolved from monkeys?' Really? Are you serious? We are created in HIS image. HIS IMAGE-how amazingly awesome is that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Really. Stop and think about it.
Thhink about how much your Creator loves you.
Be still. Know that HE IS GOD.
Crazy afternoon since I posted the last post!!!
It's gonna be so hard to leave come Jan. (yes yes I know I have said that a lot and you might be/are already sick of me typing that-BUT IT IS TRUE!)
I think that that is why this choice, the decision to "go" is so hard. This afternoon-reminded me of that. It reminded me of the work/need that is right here at home as well. The need to build up, to encourage and disciple those around us-is ALWAYS there. It is always present no matter where we are. No matter what side of the globe we are on.
Recently, I was asked what my motives were/are for going in Jan. Was it to travel? Do missions? see the world? Serve God? The answer, I soon realized, is all of the above. I WANT to travel. I WANT to do Missions. I WANT to see the world. Most importantly- I WANT TO SERVE GOD.
I know I am. Right here. Right now. I am not questioning that. I am not. If I was questioning it, it would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier to 'up and go'.
I realized lately too-is that I dont want my faith to be something that I do "sunday morning". I want to live it. I want to embrace it. I know i will fail. I know I will mess up. But I have to keep focus on Christ.
I saw a Facebook posted the other day-that read something like this "I would love to Go for coffee with God right now and just embrace all His wisdom and teachings-to just soak it in"
This got me thinking-how awesome would that be? BUT YET-God is not far away. We dont have to do something "magical" to draw near to Him or see Him. We have the TRUTH. We have His WORD. We have the Bible. It is the word of God. THen and always. IF we want to know Him, read scripture-that tells us who He is and what He calls us to do. We have nature. One look outside. Look at the stars. Look at the sands. Look at your head of hair! HE KNOWS THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then you try to tell me that there is no God? that God doesnt love me? I want to laugh at you.
You say that 'we evolved from monkeys?' Really? Are you serious? We are created in HIS image. HIS IMAGE-how amazingly awesome is that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Really. Stop and think about it.
Thhink about how much your Creator loves you.
Be still. Know that HE IS GOD.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Quick Hello
God is good.
Simple as that.
HE is my Calm through the storm.
HE is the One who fights for me.
HE knows me
HE created me-
in HIS image
HE created me.
HE wont let go-
I might-
but HE wont
HE is my Shelter
HE is my Strength
my King of Glory
I may not understand HIS ways
but thats ok
HE understands and knows where I am going-
even tho I do not
and I am ok with that
I mean really-
HE did create this world
HE DID die for me
NO OTHER god has done that
My GOD did
HE loves me that Much!
Simple as that.
HE is my Calm through the storm.
HE is the One who fights for me.
HE knows me
HE created me-
in HIS image
HE created me.
HE wont let go-
I might-
but HE wont
HE is my Shelter
HE is my Strength
my King of Glory
I may not understand HIS ways
but thats ok
HE understands and knows where I am going-
even tho I do not
and I am ok with that
I mean really-
HE did create this world
HE DID die for me
NO OTHER god has done that
My GOD did
HE loves me that Much!
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Crossroads
I am at a cross road in life. It is once again time to "step out of the boat' and on to the water. A step of faith. I know I have gotten too comfortable here. Set routine, set working hours. Now these can be/are good things; however I DONT want to become docile and just accept life "as is". I believe I (we) are called to more of that.
Now just to clarify- I KNOW God is using me right here at home. I am in fact, 100% sure of that (and I got stories to prove it if you want to know). Honestly, I 100% LOVE the ministry I am apart of here locally. Just flick through previous posts and you will see how many relate back to youth and youth events and all. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again- they are the reason I am still around. They have blessed and encouraged and challenged me in so many ways during this last year and a half of getting to know them. I know that they too, have changed and shaped me. They are the main reason why it will be hard to leave town...even to do something I want to do/know I should do. Part of my thinking, is that I have no right to challenge/push them to get out of their 'bubbles' or 'comfort zone', when I, myself, can't do it.
This line of thinking (part of it) brings me to this cross road in life where I am now. Although I'd LOVE to stick around, I can not let myself become docile to the world and the needs around me. I truly and fully believe that God's plans for my life, involve me being outside of Canada. Time and time again in scripture- Christ talks about ministering to the poor, helping the sick and looking after the widows and orphans.
Having a love for missions and travel-this is something I constantly wrestle with. Do I "go" or do I "stay"? Let's be honest. God DOESNT need me (either here at home, or abroad) to do His work. HE CHOOSES me and wants me to help in bringing HIS glory to this dark and broken world. After all, we just finished Good Friday and am now on Easter sunday. HE took it ALL on the cross and then rose again on Easter so that THROUGH HIM, we may have life. Other than our sins, we had no part in that process.
However, I cannot ignore the call I am once again, starting to feel on my heart. The call to "GO". So, already I have taken the next step. I am looking at a few different options, not for right away, but within the next year. I will be returning to Zambia, Africa with my church in 212 days (yes I am already counting down! so excited!) but that will only be three weeks (but I will take what I get!) but beyond that- I am also praying and considering another option for 2013. Actually it has been somethign I have looked at in the past but at that point, I didnt have a peace about it. Now, I can feel a peace about it. Although I have 7 months before application deadline-I hope to get my application in by mid summer. There will be a few factors, including time off work for a week mid october but God's hands hold it. They are hands that I KNOW are FULLY capable of holding it. All I gotta do is trust Him with it.
If you think about it, pray for me. Pray for the ministry I am in now, and the ministry I hope to be apart of in the new year. Pray for peace and God's guidence.
Shalom
Now just to clarify- I KNOW God is using me right here at home. I am in fact, 100% sure of that (and I got stories to prove it if you want to know). Honestly, I 100% LOVE the ministry I am apart of here locally. Just flick through previous posts and you will see how many relate back to youth and youth events and all. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again- they are the reason I am still around. They have blessed and encouraged and challenged me in so many ways during this last year and a half of getting to know them. I know that they too, have changed and shaped me. They are the main reason why it will be hard to leave town...even to do something I want to do/know I should do. Part of my thinking, is that I have no right to challenge/push them to get out of their 'bubbles' or 'comfort zone', when I, myself, can't do it.
This line of thinking (part of it) brings me to this cross road in life where I am now. Although I'd LOVE to stick around, I can not let myself become docile to the world and the needs around me. I truly and fully believe that God's plans for my life, involve me being outside of Canada. Time and time again in scripture- Christ talks about ministering to the poor, helping the sick and looking after the widows and orphans.
Having a love for missions and travel-this is something I constantly wrestle with. Do I "go" or do I "stay"? Let's be honest. God DOESNT need me (either here at home, or abroad) to do His work. HE CHOOSES me and wants me to help in bringing HIS glory to this dark and broken world. After all, we just finished Good Friday and am now on Easter sunday. HE took it ALL on the cross and then rose again on Easter so that THROUGH HIM, we may have life. Other than our sins, we had no part in that process.
However, I cannot ignore the call I am once again, starting to feel on my heart. The call to "GO". So, already I have taken the next step. I am looking at a few different options, not for right away, but within the next year. I will be returning to Zambia, Africa with my church in 212 days (yes I am already counting down! so excited!) but that will only be three weeks (but I will take what I get!) but beyond that- I am also praying and considering another option for 2013. Actually it has been somethign I have looked at in the past but at that point, I didnt have a peace about it. Now, I can feel a peace about it. Although I have 7 months before application deadline-I hope to get my application in by mid summer. There will be a few factors, including time off work for a week mid october but God's hands hold it. They are hands that I KNOW are FULLY capable of holding it. All I gotta do is trust Him with it.
If you think about it, pray for me. Pray for the ministry I am in now, and the ministry I hope to be apart of in the new year. Pray for peace and God's guidence.
Shalom
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