What a wonderful time of the year! Was driving home today and heard an interesting song on the radio...well heard it before but the station that played it was interesting. I heard "I can only Imagine" on a secular station and it just hit me...what an amazing witness even if they dont know it! Then I heard the song "Do u hear what I hear" on that same station as well and again, itjust hit me. Yes Christmas has become VERY materialistic (with gifts and music and all) but at the same time...those songs, that music that is played on the radios now, the christmas music is perhaps hitting people who wouldnt/or cant hear about the true meanign behind Christmas. Ok so it MIGHT be far reaching, like teh idea of it...but really. I mean as a Christian, hearing those songs where I did, made me stop and think about the holidays and why we have them and the true power, the ulitmate gift that we received from God our Heavenly Father. Imagine a Lamb going to his shephard and asking "do you see what I see?" and from there, ending up with the king telling people everywhere
"Listen to what I say
Pray for peace people everywhere
Listen to what I say
The child, the child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light"
If people, Christians and non Christians alike, would actually stop and listen to the song, to the lyrics and words...made Christmas would become LESS materialistic (especially here in N. America) and more focused on what its really about...a baby, born in a manger, O' Holy Night...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Been a while
Wow, I didnt realize that Oct 3 was the last time that I have updated this! Where do I start? Quite a bit has happened since then both good and bad but why not start wtih the present. Life is going pretty good. I am throughly enjoying living on my own (well with a friend but out of parents place) though coming up for ideas for supper isnt always easy!! any body know some quick supper reciepes that they wanna share?
Work is work and although there are mornings i would rather not be there, all in all I am blessed with having the job that I do. Good hours, good pay, good people, yah I should not complain at all! Evenings off, weekends off, yah its pretty good!
Work is work and although there are mornings i would rather not be there, all in all I am blessed with having the job that I do. Good hours, good pay, good people, yah I should not complain at all! Evenings off, weekends off, yah its pretty good!
This last week/weekend was definatly a highlite. After taking a few youth girls to a youth weekend that school puts on every year, I wrapped up the weekend with getting baptized :d (see pics above). wow was it quite the experience! Such a great evening of joy and excitement and praises to God! Some of it seems surreal at times, like honestly never thouht I would get baptized...but thats another story. But God is Great and He is SO faithful!! Thanks be to God Our Father!
Youth has been going awesome and I love my wednesday nights for that reason! so good! just an amazing group of youth and leaders alike we got going. Once again, God has blessed me and honestly if I were/am to stick around town longer after this year, it wuold be because of youth, because of church and the blessing it has been to me! Guess that that is a great thing tho!!
Christmas season is upon us, comign very quickly! Goal for this year is to try and not get caught up in the materialism of it all...not sure how that will look yet but we will see!
Have a blessed Day!
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Lessons from a Moth
Ever have a "God moment"? well i have and I want to share the latest one I had, where God taught me a lesson, rather reminded me of something through a very small creature, a moth...
Through fall, I learning to see Him all around me. In people, in nature, in song. I was playing with my dog yesterday outside and at one point i was lying on the grass and i noticed a little moth near me...struggling to fly, so two thoughts crossed my mind 1. I could kill it, put it out of its misery or 2. pick it up, hav eit in my hands then put it on a tree in hopes it would be ok. I picked number two. But at first I had this sense of "awe' as I held it in my hands. sounds weird perhaps but it was like I could hear God whispering to me, "look at how I created this moth you are holding! see how delicate it is, see the power you hold in your hands? notice the care I took in creating it? how Much I love that moth you hold? Wanna know something more amazing!? I love YOU more than that moth, I created YOU in my image and no one else's. You are uniquly MINE. I AM the great I AM, always have, always will. I love you"
I asked mom to grab the camera while I was holding it in my hands (similar to this picture) thinking that it was not about to fly anywhere cause it was hurt, but as soon as mom got close and tried to get one to two pics...it flew off my hand, and finally, found strength and was able to fly away. It was like God also said, "no, this is someting I want to remind you of, you cannot capture it on camera...I am above that. Sit back and just enjoy me" What happend to the moth, I have no idea. but it served a great purpose yesterday, to remind me just how much God loves me and treasures me. Even more so then the birds of the air, fish of the sea or bugs on the ground....Dont we serve an awesome, mighty, yet humble and gentle God?!?
I asked mom to grab the camera while I was holding it in my hands (similar to this picture) thinking that it was not about to fly anywhere cause it was hurt, but as soon as mom got close and tried to get one to two pics...it flew off my hand, and finally, found strength and was able to fly away. It was like God also said, "no, this is someting I want to remind you of, you cannot capture it on camera...I am above that. Sit back and just enjoy me" What happend to the moth, I have no idea. but it served a great purpose yesterday, to remind me just how much God loves me and treasures me. Even more so then the birds of the air, fish of the sea or bugs on the ground....Dont we serve an awesome, mighty, yet humble and gentle God?!?
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Fall
It is September 1 and it is the first year since fall 2007 that I am NOT preparing to go back to SBC for another year...what a wierd feeling!! its gonna take a while to process I think..umm no, actually I know it will take a while to think about and to once again, realize that I will not be going back... Right now, if I could I would be going back...again, I am amazed at by how much I am missing it. but I need to ask myself, why am I missing it? What are my motives? Do i want to go back just cause its comfortable there? becasue I love it there, and the people? good reasons yes, but that doesnt make them right. It is time to move on. not forget, just continue on with life. Part of the thing that will be hard, is knowing what I will be missing. last night, i was upstairs and like asleep by 10:45 but I caught myself thinking that that if i were going back to school..10:45 bed time is un heard of in dorm! people ar ejust getting going then and there I was, going to bed..having to work 10 hours the next day...wow do things change. I am going to miss the community..the people, walking in the halls..talking to the profs...causeing a little trouble and all....I am going to missing "giving" there...
That said, I am getting more and more excited for fall! Working on plans to move out and live together with a friend here in town (which would be a whole NEW adventure..little nervous bout it, but should be good!) and so looking forward to getting involveed with youth and the girls there and just giving back... It will be good to be around the community and to reconnect here and give back. The response from people when they find out I will be sticking around, has seemed good, so excited about that. Work wont always go good (in fact, today it sucked) but such is life. I am learning (always learnign) to lean on prayer and talk to God throughout the day at work, and that is helping. I know God is here. Although I will miss school and that life, i gotta live here in the present. Take things as they come. Strive to live Christ like...
pray for me k? that I wll be able to do that this fall and beyound..and to let God take control, to realize that yes SBC was amazing, it happend but this is here, this is now.
That said, I am getting more and more excited for fall! Working on plans to move out and live together with a friend here in town (which would be a whole NEW adventure..little nervous bout it, but should be good!) and so looking forward to getting involveed with youth and the girls there and just giving back... It will be good to be around the community and to reconnect here and give back. The response from people when they find out I will be sticking around, has seemed good, so excited about that. Work wont always go good (in fact, today it sucked) but such is life. I am learning (always learnign) to lean on prayer and talk to God throughout the day at work, and that is helping. I know God is here. Although I will miss school and that life, i gotta live here in the present. Take things as they come. Strive to live Christ like...
pray for me k? that I wll be able to do that this fall and beyound..and to let God take control, to realize that yes SBC was amazing, it happend but this is here, this is now.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
10 days away
Do u ever get that when you just have to get away!? well the last week and a half, I spent part of it in Calgary (area) and Southern Ontario..catching up with friends and attending two different weddings from friends from College. Long story short (and perhaps will journal bout this later sometime) I love seeingpeople in their home area...u learn so much more bout them just by watching how they ineract at home! its pretty sweet! anyways, been thinking lately about How I can see God in the people around me...Making an effort to see God in everyone..or too see people teh way Christ sees them. well, at a local grocery store in Ontario...God shone brightly through a friend and a complete stranger and her son. Just casual talking in the store..yet the genuine care on both ends for each other. The trust the son had in us and he chatted with us and shared a few stories...VERY neat!! God is GOOD that is for sure!
I have realized threw these different expereinces that God has blessed me immensely with the people in my life! They are SO special! Sure, we all have our moments, but I would NOT be where I am today with out my friends...both at home and over the country/world.
God is good!
keep looking for HIM in the people around YOU!
I have realized threw these different expereinces that God has blessed me immensely with the people in my life! They are SO special! Sure, we all have our moments, but I would NOT be where I am today with out my friends...both at home and over the country/world.
God is good!
keep looking for HIM in the people around YOU!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Worship
So, here it is...an update..one i have been meaning to do for a while. How am I doing now, compared to last post? Honestly? Better. Still not 100% but I know that that will take time. since I last posted, I have had a number of chats with people in person, through email, skype, telephone and facebook and all of them have been really good and a lot of them have been super encouraging as well. It is good to know that in this battle we are fighting, we are NOT alone...Praise be to God for that and so much more! Work has proven to be a blessing other that the fact that its a job and I am getting paid there. and yes, there are days when i do not want to be there, but it has proven to be a blessing in the sense that I have a lot of time to think, which some days is not good, but others, it allows time for me to spend it in prayer. To really pray for family and friends and for those around me. Through that, what I have discovered is that I need to be in constant communication with God. like Hello "duh" nikki, the Bible mentions that, doesnt take a genius to figure that out...well actually it was a song by Big Daddy Weave to remind me of that. I also realized that having the latest Christian song in my head during work isnt a bad thing either (though side note, sometimes it is really annoying having a certain song in your head that you just cant get out!), because I mean after all...that is worship as well, singing praises to God.
So then what the heck has been "wrong" with me lately? Though i still think it has been a number of litttle different things (which after a while just add up) the biggest thing is My relationship with God. Now, not sure if I have ever experienced spiritual warfare but honestly, thats what i think a big thing of it was...thats the only thing that makessense. There was one day last week where I just lost it. I was literally on my knees crying. No, God did not miraculousy speak to me or anything like that, but after that, I just had this sense of peace, like it would be ok. A few days after that, my aunt called for something and she mentioned/asked somethign on the phone which struck me....it was something along the lines of, "you sound better, you sound happy!". now this struck me cause I dont recall even talking to my aunt at all during my "down time" so how would she know how I sounded then? but yah since then, things havegotten better. Yes there are still moments, but those moments will always be there. But so will faith, and so will God. With Him, I know anything is possible and I just gotta keep believing that, hold strong to my faith and never let go
So then what the heck has been "wrong" with me lately? Though i still think it has been a number of litttle different things (which after a while just add up) the biggest thing is My relationship with God. Now, not sure if I have ever experienced spiritual warfare but honestly, thats what i think a big thing of it was...thats the only thing that makessense. There was one day last week where I just lost it. I was literally on my knees crying. No, God did not miraculousy speak to me or anything like that, but after that, I just had this sense of peace, like it would be ok. A few days after that, my aunt called for something and she mentioned/asked somethign on the phone which struck me....it was something along the lines of, "you sound better, you sound happy!". now this struck me cause I dont recall even talking to my aunt at all during my "down time" so how would she know how I sounded then? but yah since then, things havegotten better. Yes there are still moments, but those moments will always be there. But so will faith, and so will God. With Him, I know anything is possible and I just gotta keep believing that, hold strong to my faith and never let go
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
On my mind...
So there has been a lot on my mind lately...that is pretty much as per usual. Not sure how long this post will be, but one thing I have come to realize these last few years about myself...well months as well, is that I tend to "bottle up' and feelings, and well not ignore them but just push them aside and tell myself to toughen up and deal with it. To say to myself, "it is my problem, my issue and I will deal with it" yet that thinking right there, is what I often catution people about...because I KNOW the importance of community...or at least one or two other people in your life who you completey trust..whether that is a friend or two, spouse, parent, grandparent etc...we were not made to be alone, we were made for relationships. I know all of this, yet I still close up. Why? I am not sure. I think part of it might have to do with the fact that there are always different "bigger issues" out there or tihngs that need to be dealt with, then what I am going through. I've also learned that I am very much a people person and, like I say, will push aside my thoughts and feelings to help out a friend when needed. An example of this, sort of, was last day of school, moving out of dorm. Some of the hardest people to say bye to were 3 good friends of mine, girls who started SBC with me and graduated with me. We lived in dorm all three years and became pretty tight. Anyways, so saying goodbye to the first one, when she left...i was procrastinating it as long as I could...we both were and we knew it. So "goodbyes" came and went and I was NOT expecting to break down at all that day, as I knew other people would and so wanted to be strong for them..however, with she left, I lost it....tears came and I could not hold back. it was one of those moments where I wanted to be by myself right then and there and have no one else around so I headed up back into dorm...another friend, ended up followng me, asking me if I was alright...I was in no mood to deal with her at the time...however she didnt give me a choice and just pulled me into a hug. I told her that I TOLD myself I would not do this here (cry), that I would be strong and deal iwth it later. She told me very similar words that i have told pepople before as well..."Its ok to cry, yuo dont have to be 'super women' all the time" I realized after how grateful I was she followed me up and just gave me a hug.
But its often like that, holding my composure on the outside, when there is a tornado/hurricane going onin the inside...so if you ask me how I am doing...chances are I will say "fine" or "good",but beneathe the skin, the answer would be oh so very different
But its often like that, holding my composure on the outside, when there is a tornado/hurricane going onin the inside...so if you ask me how I am doing...chances are I will say "fine" or "good",but beneathe the skin, the answer would be oh so very different
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Living Christ-Like
A question I am getting lots of lately and one that has gotten my thinking, is this, "Now that you (as in me) are done school, what are your plans come fall and beyond?" Now, first off, here are a few things I really am starting NOT to like about this question...it reminds me that school is done and that I am NOT going back come fall...which is a good thing but at the same time, makes me miss it all over again..again gonna miss the people lots, second, in sense, it adds pressue that makes me feel like I NEED to know what I am doing come fall....
Second...that is usually followed by "what are you doing now?" (acutally this question is usually first...but whatever) and my response is "Well working" For those from the area...they ask..."Supreme?" my response..."yeps" Their response varies after that.
Do you ever feel like a ditz and arent doing anything 'useful' if it isnt '"ministry' focused!? Right now also, Ukraine, especially the city of Sumy Ukraine, is on my mind lots...as I was there a year a go helping with day camps and camp there. When I was there, i felt Good, like I was doing something worth living...fulfilling Matthew 28...the great commission...but here at home...the feeling is FAR from that....
Last night, was at a wedding reception of friends of mine from college, it was really good to reconnect with the newlyweds and also friends from college from my first and second year...people who I really looked (and still do) up to...just amazing Godly men and women of Christ. However i was talking with this one guy who is just on fire for God. His wife is a good friend of mine and so have gotten to know him both through college and her...and so he asked what I was doing now and come fall...after previously having asked a another friend of mine from college as well. A friend who is working part timeat a ministry in her home town, and then going to school part time come fall and how God worked that all together, with raising her support and what not, is amazing. Yet here I sit/sat and my response was, "just working"....
It depends on Attitude right? Although I know I am not doing anything right now that church deems "ministry" ( I mean really, what truely defines minstry?") but you know what? I am okwith that....I am trying this new thing that Christ constantly talks about through the gospels and that the Apostles later pick up on as well...about living each and every day for Christ...I want people, when they look at me, to SEE Christ in me. With work...I wanna make that my 'mission' field...even though there are Christians there as well. Often I have found its fellow Christians thatneedthe encouragement as well. How this will look at work? not sure...just by being me...by being friendly with co-workers, by working hard and serving my boss and company that way and just smiliing. yes some days are way easier than others...some days its like, "really God? WHY am I here! I dont want to be here, I want to be out there" but I know God is teaching me through it.
Come fall, I am stoked to get back involved with local youth group..to reconnect there and just to give back to the girls...make that my minstry as well...toreally invest and encourage the girls and to walk along side them. That said, now with summer...I wanna connect with the girls here already..the ones who I have gotten to know a bit throughout the years of Junior youth, Sunday School and just by living in the same town with them...I am excited to go out for coffee with them already and just to catch up
a friend recently asked me, "how has Altona improved since I have been back after school!?" it is a question that i do not know the answer to yet but it is a question that remains as a challenge inthe back of my mind....
just a few thoughts from Troubled Heart
God Bless
GO bless
Second...that is usually followed by "what are you doing now?" (acutally this question is usually first...but whatever) and my response is "Well working" For those from the area...they ask..."Supreme?" my response..."yeps" Their response varies after that.
Do you ever feel like a ditz and arent doing anything 'useful' if it isnt '"ministry' focused!? Right now also, Ukraine, especially the city of Sumy Ukraine, is on my mind lots...as I was there a year a go helping with day camps and camp there. When I was there, i felt Good, like I was doing something worth living...fulfilling Matthew 28...the great commission...but here at home...the feeling is FAR from that....
Last night, was at a wedding reception of friends of mine from college, it was really good to reconnect with the newlyweds and also friends from college from my first and second year...people who I really looked (and still do) up to...just amazing Godly men and women of Christ. However i was talking with this one guy who is just on fire for God. His wife is a good friend of mine and so have gotten to know him both through college and her...and so he asked what I was doing now and come fall...after previously having asked a another friend of mine from college as well. A friend who is working part timeat a ministry in her home town, and then going to school part time come fall and how God worked that all together, with raising her support and what not, is amazing. Yet here I sit/sat and my response was, "just working"....
It depends on Attitude right? Although I know I am not doing anything right now that church deems "ministry" ( I mean really, what truely defines minstry?") but you know what? I am okwith that....I am trying this new thing that Christ constantly talks about through the gospels and that the Apostles later pick up on as well...about living each and every day for Christ...I want people, when they look at me, to SEE Christ in me. With work...I wanna make that my 'mission' field...even though there are Christians there as well. Often I have found its fellow Christians thatneedthe encouragement as well. How this will look at work? not sure...just by being me...by being friendly with co-workers, by working hard and serving my boss and company that way and just smiliing. yes some days are way easier than others...some days its like, "really God? WHY am I here! I dont want to be here, I want to be out there" but I know God is teaching me through it.
Come fall, I am stoked to get back involved with local youth group..to reconnect there and just to give back to the girls...make that my minstry as well...toreally invest and encourage the girls and to walk along side them. That said, now with summer...I wanna connect with the girls here already..the ones who I have gotten to know a bit throughout the years of Junior youth, Sunday School and just by living in the same town with them...I am excited to go out for coffee with them already and just to catch up
a friend recently asked me, "how has Altona improved since I have been back after school!?" it is a question that i do not know the answer to yet but it is a question that remains as a challenge inthe back of my mind....
just a few thoughts from Troubled Heart
God Bless
GO bless
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Question...
Just a question...somethign to ponder..send your thoughts my way!
"How can life even be worth anything if your not really living for something?!"
"How can life even be worth anything if your not really living for something?!"
Friday, June 04, 2010
Where is the Love!?
So am listening an Old Song by the Black Eye Peas...and its a gooder...and the thought crossed my mind as I listened to the lyrics..are they talkiung about the North American culture in general? or are they targeting more of a specific group of people...aka: Christians?!? I guess its on my mind cause of the book I am also currently reading...The New Friars...(think its spelt like that)...it is a really good read...recommended to me by a good friend of mine. It talks about serving among the worlds poor and 'meeting Jesus' there...sort of a random connection..but in my mind, it makes sense...
read the words to the song and let me know what oyu think!? who is the group talking to?!
"Where Is The Love?"
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividend
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?
Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)
read the words to the song and let me know what oyu think!? who is the group talking to?!
"Where Is The Love?"
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividend
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?
Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Matthew
So plan for the summer or how ever long it takes, is to not read, but listen through the entire New Testament. I recently downloaded the New testament, and am currently working on getting the old Testament..and have started to listen to it. Wow...I am in Matthew 11 and wow that book is packed full of stuff! I mean I know that. I know the entire bible is FULL of stuff, good stuff from God, but one forgets yeah know. Just for a little background. Right now, I dont know where I am at Spiritually. I wouldnt go as far as saying its a spiritual low (valley) or a spiritual high (mountain top) type experience...it just is. I am numb. I know God is here. I know He is around, yet I feel almost alone...facing this thing called life bymyself. However, I am also thirsty, there is something inside of me wanting more, wanting to go deeper, to continue to learn and grow IN the word and THROUGH the word. I finished recently reading a book called Ruthless Trust, by Brennan Manning...and I recommend it. Simple read, yet profound in a type way. I am now reading "Searching for God knows What?" by donald Millar. Now I dont think I am a huge Donald Millar fan just by the way he writes, yet the book itself, IS very good and I am learning.
But wow, listening through the first few books in Matthew...I dont know what it is, but something clicked. As Humans, how stupid are we really? How stupid am I that I worry? That I doubt? That I think I am in this alone, when I know I am NOT in this alone. I have friends who love and care for me. Why are there some days when I think I am nothing, when work sucks, family relationships suck and I want nothing more to do but then to just cry? Yet other days, are days to remember, days to rejoice and give thanks? Were we not told to pray without ceasing? To give thanks ALWAYS? Through the good and bad and everything else!?
In Matthew, there are a few different accounts of people who didnt ask questions...they just believed and where healed (Matthew 8:1-14), the man with Leporsary and teh Centurion to mention a few. They had this amazing faith. Yet Jesus disciples, a few verses later in v. 23 doubt when the waves get a little higher and scarier when they are on the water. jesus asks them why they doubt. Why did they doubt...they had just witnessed all of what Jesus had done...Yet why do I doubt!? I have not only these amazing stories adn a way to live by from teh examples Christ gives us throughout the bible, but I also have my own personal experiences where I have SEEN prayer work, wehre I have experienced a peace that I know can ONLY come from God, where God's timing is SO evident and the list could go one. Why do I then so quickly doubt as well!? Why do i struggle to, so very much, to believe'? Why is going to church on Sundays, hard, yet going and doing other stuff, istn hard? why do I ask, "where is Jesus" when Jesus is asking, "Nikki, where are you? I am still right here, I have never left you, remember I am your Unmovable rock...a VERY present help in trouble, call to me and I will answer you, I went to the cross to bore YOUR sins. I was tempted just like you, I lived, breathed and walked onthe earth just like you are doing"
needless to say, a lot more could be said, but Listening to matthew was really good, and I think I have decieded to, instead of listening to music biking to work each morning, to listen to tehbible to and from work...a few verses here, a few verses there. To immerse myself into the word...to KNOW God...perhaps then this feeling 'solo'/ 'alone' will cease to exist..yeah...I miss people, but perhaps what I really miss...is GOD and what we used to have...or what I thought we had...
Pray for me k?
But wow, listening through the first few books in Matthew...I dont know what it is, but something clicked. As Humans, how stupid are we really? How stupid am I that I worry? That I doubt? That I think I am in this alone, when I know I am NOT in this alone. I have friends who love and care for me. Why are there some days when I think I am nothing, when work sucks, family relationships suck and I want nothing more to do but then to just cry? Yet other days, are days to remember, days to rejoice and give thanks? Were we not told to pray without ceasing? To give thanks ALWAYS? Through the good and bad and everything else!?
In Matthew, there are a few different accounts of people who didnt ask questions...they just believed and where healed (Matthew 8:1-14), the man with Leporsary and teh Centurion to mention a few. They had this amazing faith. Yet Jesus disciples, a few verses later in v. 23 doubt when the waves get a little higher and scarier when they are on the water. jesus asks them why they doubt. Why did they doubt...they had just witnessed all of what Jesus had done...Yet why do I doubt!? I have not only these amazing stories adn a way to live by from teh examples Christ gives us throughout the bible, but I also have my own personal experiences where I have SEEN prayer work, wehre I have experienced a peace that I know can ONLY come from God, where God's timing is SO evident and the list could go one. Why do I then so quickly doubt as well!? Why do i struggle to, so very much, to believe'? Why is going to church on Sundays, hard, yet going and doing other stuff, istn hard? why do I ask, "where is Jesus" when Jesus is asking, "Nikki, where are you? I am still right here, I have never left you, remember I am your Unmovable rock...a VERY present help in trouble, call to me and I will answer you, I went to the cross to bore YOUR sins. I was tempted just like you, I lived, breathed and walked onthe earth just like you are doing"
needless to say, a lot more could be said, but Listening to matthew was really good, and I think I have decieded to, instead of listening to music biking to work each morning, to listen to tehbible to and from work...a few verses here, a few verses there. To immerse myself into the word...to KNOW God...perhaps then this feeling 'solo'/ 'alone' will cease to exist..yeah...I miss people, but perhaps what I really miss...is GOD and what we used to have...or what I thought we had...
Pray for me k?
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
More Beautiful You
Not sure where I got this song or where I heard it..but check it out and read the lyrics...especially you females...its pretty good
More Beautiful You Lyrics
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
More Beautiful You Lyrics
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Final 2 weeks...
Final two weeks...wow...here I thought come grad..I would be ready...but at this point, I am so not...well scratch that. I am ready for the classes/homework to be done (only one assignment left and then 3 exams) but not ready to leave the people or the profs....not ready for that at all.
Side note, well maybe not side note...but my I am class Validictorian!!! crazy, I dont understand it, or why...but its awesome, a huge honour that is for sure and I really do not want to let my class down, that is for sure.
(Side note...following are just a few pics from spring break....it was a good time)
But yeah, wow one more week of classes....this is insane!!! What a ride its been. GOd is good though, He is faithful and that has been so evident over these last three years. it just like screams out at me...pretty sweet is what it is. One of the main things I have learned, is that we were built and designed for relationships..coming into school...I was royally independent and was totally content with being bymyself..however...that has since changed and I am already not looking forward to summer in the sense of having to be by myself and not with people..well not with these people who I have grown to know and love and the thing is too, that now it is not "cya in september" now some of these goodbyes will be goodbyes for long time..potenially..but yeah that is the part that I do not like..such is life I gues right?
That said tho, I am glad I am no longer a hermit and that I love hanging out with people :D but homework is calling my name..so that i should go work on...
peace out!
Side note, well maybe not side note...but my I am class Validictorian!!! crazy, I dont understand it, or why...but its awesome, a huge honour that is for sure and I really do not want to let my class down, that is for sure.
(Side note...following are just a few pics from spring break....it was a good time)
That said tho, I am glad I am no longer a hermit and that I love hanging out with people :D but homework is calling my name..so that i should go work on...
peace out!
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Fame
"FAME"
Rush of Fools
I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead
I have failed at everything
I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King
I couldn't be any less worthy
To spend one day much less forever with You
[Chorus 1:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame
I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face
But I've seen Your Spirit move
And Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room
I'm merely a product of mercy
The target and victim of Your perfect love
[Chorus 2:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, spreading like a flame
Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name
You can't be contained and I'll never be the same
Rush of Fools
I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead
I have failed at everything
I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King
I couldn't be any less worthy
To spend one day much less forever with You
[Chorus 1:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame
I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face
But I've seen Your Spirit move
And Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room
I'm merely a product of mercy
The target and victim of Your perfect love
[Chorus 2:]
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control
I lift my voice, I have no choice
My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, spreading like a flame
Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name
You can't be contained and I'll never be the same
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Beauty
Just a quick question...Why is it, that people, especially girls, struggle so much with beauty. Not only outer beauty and always thinking they do not look good enough, or have to "impress" someone, but with inner beauty as well? Is this just a North American Mindset? Or a "first world" mind set? or do other people from other cultures struggle with this as well? I know in Ukraine, outter appearence is HUGE, even more so then it is here...which is wierd yet at the same time, it makes sense.
Is there any way to improve this train of thought? as a society...what is something we could do to help girls and young ladies and ladies of all ages, boost their confidence and the way the look at themselves? Maybe we should all just nix the media and ignore that message that is being potrayed to females. Side note on that, something I found amusing in an ironic "told you so" sort of way, is the fact of the 'real person' DOVE used for their 'real image' campaign a few years back...do you remember that? I recall reading last semester in one of my text books, how even that campagin was a hoax...in the sense that the 'real girl; they used for this and that, was not real at all...in fact all photoshopped...hmmm it was out of the book flickering Pixels by shane Hipps...it looks at media in general and how it shaps and influences the culture...but yeah check it out..I have the book if anyone would like to read it...
Here check out one of their videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
Have we become fake? Are we all just walking around with masks? Why is it so hard to be REAL withone another?
Is there any way to improve this train of thought? as a society...what is something we could do to help girls and young ladies and ladies of all ages, boost their confidence and the way the look at themselves? Maybe we should all just nix the media and ignore that message that is being potrayed to females. Side note on that, something I found amusing in an ironic "told you so" sort of way, is the fact of the 'real person' DOVE used for their 'real image' campaign a few years back...do you remember that? I recall reading last semester in one of my text books, how even that campagin was a hoax...in the sense that the 'real girl; they used for this and that, was not real at all...in fact all photoshopped...hmmm it was out of the book flickering Pixels by shane Hipps...it looks at media in general and how it shaps and influences the culture...but yeah check it out..I have the book if anyone would like to read it...
Here check out one of their videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
Have we become fake? Are we all just walking around with masks? Why is it so hard to be REAL withone another?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Spring Break
also, random question well not so random..but a question to get you tihnking....
"How do you go about loving someone who is just so hard to love and somedays, it seems next to impossible?"
- start with "like" and move to love?
- or are 'like' and 'love' different?
- can one love from afar?
- is it a daily choice?
Friday, March 19, 2010
Life...
So...22...feels like 21...not gonna lie...dont feel no older...
anyways, life is good and continues to go good. I was able to go home for a little while yesterday for my birthday and that was really good as well..just a chance to breathe, get food, do laundry, relax and be off campus a while. However now, back at school once again and continuing to enjoy it. However I realized that I have been spending a LOT of time here, which is good, but at the same time, lose connection a lot and really quickly at home...with friends and family alike...which sucks and was not my intention at all. One of my old youth girls, sent me a message on FB just wishing happy birthday but also mentioned hadnt seen me aroudn for a while..and its true, havent been in church at all tihs month at home! Wierd....but luckily have a week off coming up soon where I want to get a lot of homework done, but also spend a lot of time catching up with friends and family alike (*cough* Annie, Lisa *cough*) so yeah...beware I will be calling!
School is going great tho, only 5 weeks left which is pretty scary, yet at the same time, pretty awesome. I am ready for the next phrase of life to come....even if that is just working for a few months....I am excited tho to get involved in local youth in town, and again, connect with friends and family at home. That willl be good, it has been something I have let slip lately while I have been at school. Though that said, I am just trying to enjoy the last while here and give aand do what I can here as well before summer comes and a different kind of reality hits...and before I go through being deprived of people and fun...yeah not really looking forward to that in taht sense, but it will still be good. It is hard tho keeping up connections...wondering what this summer will bring thats for sure.
what life entales beyond that tho, not really sure...I still really want to get out there and travel somewhere and still in cooperate photography and missions...though not really sure how that will work yet...but guess that is where the trust comes in...trust in God...
Speaking about trust...what are your thoughts on it...on the topic in general? guy/girl trust and relationships, trust in God...etc
send me a comment or email or soemthing and lets dialouge a bit
anyways, life is good and continues to go good. I was able to go home for a little while yesterday for my birthday and that was really good as well..just a chance to breathe, get food, do laundry, relax and be off campus a while. However now, back at school once again and continuing to enjoy it. However I realized that I have been spending a LOT of time here, which is good, but at the same time, lose connection a lot and really quickly at home...with friends and family alike...which sucks and was not my intention at all. One of my old youth girls, sent me a message on FB just wishing happy birthday but also mentioned hadnt seen me aroudn for a while..and its true, havent been in church at all tihs month at home! Wierd....but luckily have a week off coming up soon where I want to get a lot of homework done, but also spend a lot of time catching up with friends and family alike (*cough* Annie, Lisa *cough*) so yeah...beware I will be calling!
School is going great tho, only 5 weeks left which is pretty scary, yet at the same time, pretty awesome. I am ready for the next phrase of life to come....even if that is just working for a few months....I am excited tho to get involved in local youth in town, and again, connect with friends and family at home. That willl be good, it has been something I have let slip lately while I have been at school. Though that said, I am just trying to enjoy the last while here and give aand do what I can here as well before summer comes and a different kind of reality hits...and before I go through being deprived of people and fun...yeah not really looking forward to that in taht sense, but it will still be good. It is hard tho keeping up connections...wondering what this summer will bring thats for sure.
what life entales beyond that tho, not really sure...I still really want to get out there and travel somewhere and still in cooperate photography and missions...though not really sure how that will work yet...but guess that is where the trust comes in...trust in God...
Speaking about trust...what are your thoughts on it...on the topic in general? guy/girl trust and relationships, trust in God...etc
send me a comment or email or soemthing and lets dialouge a bit
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Spring
Spring is in the air here in southern Manitoba and wow does it ever feel great! Its like moods switch here on campus or something...its prettyy awesome for sure. I am guessing tho, that there is snow or at least, more rain in the near future, cause I mean really, it is southern Manitoba! but yeah all in all, life is pretty sweet thats for sure. I am starting to work on final papers, getting quotes and topics picked and slowly starting to wind down with that. Only like 4 weeks of classes left! whoa scary!!! this is ridiculous for sure! Final semester! what next is the plan for sure..hmmm ah well. God knows what He is doing..I just gotta trust him with that and not let go.
Tomorrow is another major day...22 years old....wow crazy....where did time go? its been a good run so far, that is true. It feels like I have done a lot, yet at the same time, very little in my time, but then again, I will only be 22...still a youngn I think :D
Thank you God for giving me this life. For blessing me with another year that is about to wrap up in like 5 hours. Thank you for fun, for family, for amazing friends who love and support me. For the very air I breathe. That you that YOU love us teh way you do. God you are so good.
Tomorrow is another major day...22 years old....wow crazy....where did time go? its been a good run so far, that is true. It feels like I have done a lot, yet at the same time, very little in my time, but then again, I will only be 22...still a youngn I think :D
Thank you God for giving me this life. For blessing me with another year that is about to wrap up in like 5 hours. Thank you for fun, for family, for amazing friends who love and support me. For the very air I breathe. That you that YOU love us teh way you do. God you are so good.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
March 4 post...
Here is what I was refering to on that one blog I found...read it and let it soak in and think about it!
"People ask me where I am heading after school, what field I am interested in, and etc. etc. I tell everyone, "Missions Photography". If you do not know what that is, it is basically documenting missionaries, their work, and the people group they are trying to reach, while I myself am apart of ministering in whatever way I can. I love photography, but I love people more. I don't think a job is worth more than a human life. I believe a human life is what makes a job worth doing and doing well. I have always believed that whatever job you do, you should do it for something more than self-ambition. I'm not the most selfless person, that's for sure, but I try every day to break that selfish part of my heart. I was on a mission trip to Tijuana, Mexico after my 1oth grade year and was already into photography, I just had no real idea where I was going to take it. After Christ broke my heart for the people of Mexico through my experiences and photos, I knew this was it for me. Every day since then has only confirmed that capturing lives changing and building in Truth was my future. I love every part of photography, that is why I try my best to be good at every part, I know I still have so much to learn, but this is where my heart beats strongest."
http://brianhallphotography.blogspot.com/2008/11/missions-photography.html
I thought it was good...
"People ask me where I am heading after school, what field I am interested in, and etc. etc. I tell everyone, "Missions Photography". If you do not know what that is, it is basically documenting missionaries, their work, and the people group they are trying to reach, while I myself am apart of ministering in whatever way I can. I love photography, but I love people more. I don't think a job is worth more than a human life. I believe a human life is what makes a job worth doing and doing well. I have always believed that whatever job you do, you should do it for something more than self-ambition. I'm not the most selfless person, that's for sure, but I try every day to break that selfish part of my heart. I was on a mission trip to Tijuana, Mexico after my 1oth grade year and was already into photography, I just had no real idea where I was going to take it. After Christ broke my heart for the people of Mexico through my experiences and photos, I knew this was it for me. Every day since then has only confirmed that capturing lives changing and building in Truth was my future. I love every part of photography, that is why I try my best to be good at every part, I know I still have so much to learn, but this is where my heart beats strongest."
http://brianhallphotography.blogspot.com/2008/11/missions-photography.html
I thought it was good...
Prayer
So, this is more of a prayer request than anything. Wondering if you could just pray for me. I was loooking at all the things I have to do now and all and dare I say, I could see myself stressing out? Which is wierd cause I usually dont stress out...
Not only that, but pray that I learn to give God control. I love hanging otu with people, with talking with them, connecting with them and having a blast, but people are "messy' we all have different backgrounds and pasts. A few people have mentioned things to me about their pasts/issues etc and I am the type of person who takes it on myself...which I know I cant do cause I need to give it to God....pray I can do that
Pray for wisdom and guidence as well, words of wisdom and understanding and connecting times as well
God is good, all the time God is good
Not only that, but pray that I learn to give God control. I love hanging otu with people, with talking with them, connecting with them and having a blast, but people are "messy' we all have different backgrounds and pasts. A few people have mentioned things to me about their pasts/issues etc and I am the type of person who takes it on myself...which I know I cant do cause I need to give it to God....pray I can do that
Pray for wisdom and guidence as well, words of wisdom and understanding and connecting times as well
God is good, all the time God is good
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Missions and Photography
So I was looking at different stuff to do after school and this idea of missions and photograpy and social justice and just trying to look for something which incorporates all three of those ideas and through searching i found this one guys blog who summed up missions and photography so well..though I cant seem to remember how I got there so i cant post it on here, otherwise I totally would...hmmm but yeah
I am thinking of different options. It just feel slike God has put this whole idea of Justice on my heart. to give a voice for the voiceless and to do something impacting yeah know. i realize what I am doing now at school is also impacting and changing (at least I hope so) but yeah I dont know. Issues like poverty, human trafficking and things like that, have been on the back of my mind, especially since the philippines....it has got me thinking that is for sure..
so yeah if you know of any sites or organizations or places which this would fall under...let me know..and in the mean time, if you could pray for me as I still wrestle through and try to figure this out, would be great! thanks!
I am thinking of different options. It just feel slike God has put this whole idea of Justice on my heart. to give a voice for the voiceless and to do something impacting yeah know. i realize what I am doing now at school is also impacting and changing (at least I hope so) but yeah I dont know. Issues like poverty, human trafficking and things like that, have been on the back of my mind, especially since the philippines....it has got me thinking that is for sure..
so yeah if you know of any sites or organizations or places which this would fall under...let me know..and in the mean time, if you could pray for me as I still wrestle through and try to figure this out, would be great! thanks!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Jumping on the ban wagon...
Well, might as well jump on the Ban wagon!
GO CANADA GO! GET THAT GOLD!!!!
Wondering how those players are feeling...poor guys...got the whole country behind them...I hope they win...but in the end...there are moreimportant things in life then a hockey game...wonder if the people in haiti or now chile...are watching the game...oh wait..they are focused on surviving each and every moment...hmm...what have we become!?
GO CANADA GO! GET THAT GOLD!!!!
Wondering how those players are feeling...poor guys...got the whole country behind them...I hope they win...but in the end...there are moreimportant things in life then a hockey game...wonder if the people in haiti or now chile...are watching the game...oh wait..they are focused on surviving each and every moment...hmm...what have we become!?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
GO CANADA GO!
Just wanted to throw that OUT there!
GO CANADA GO!! Beat Russia and go and GET THAT GOLD MEDAL!! WOOT WOOT!
GO CANADA GO!! Beat Russia and go and GET THAT GOLD MEDAL!! WOOT WOOT!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Vent...
So this isnt as much a vent as it is a statement and just letting off steam..well I guess in that sense...it is a vent perhaps? hmm ah well...
Ever get the feeling you are back in high school???? or even like Elementary school drama? Did you miss that feeling? Cause I know I sure don't! It feels like that a little here, for different reasons. Reasons which I really dont care to go into right about now but its frusturating and I wonder if people ever acutally grow up and mature in general!? Or is it just something we were like cursed with with the fall of man?!?
Ok that aside, ok so it wasnt so much of a rant...or perhaps I maybe just constrained myself...
last night, had a really good talk with a few people...once again late at night...usually the best times for it...
Needless to say, life is interesting, friend dynamics are interesting. sometimes I am kind of sick of different situations...while other times I feel like I wanna rip my hair out of my head in frustuartion and all....Will I miss dorm? yeah, I will...aspects of it. Yet at the same time, i will not miss other aspects of it. its like a catch 22....
Ok I started this point like 2 hours a go and then got sidetracked into a conversation with my roomie....so I reall y have no idea where I was taking this post...hmm
I guess prayer would be that God just give me continualled wisdom and understand for stuff going on. Pray that he will provide the words for me to speak.
thanks
God Bless
Ever get the feeling you are back in high school???? or even like Elementary school drama? Did you miss that feeling? Cause I know I sure don't! It feels like that a little here, for different reasons. Reasons which I really dont care to go into right about now but its frusturating and I wonder if people ever acutally grow up and mature in general!? Or is it just something we were like cursed with with the fall of man?!?
Ok that aside, ok so it wasnt so much of a rant...or perhaps I maybe just constrained myself...
last night, had a really good talk with a few people...once again late at night...usually the best times for it...
Needless to say, life is interesting, friend dynamics are interesting. sometimes I am kind of sick of different situations...while other times I feel like I wanna rip my hair out of my head in frustuartion and all....Will I miss dorm? yeah, I will...aspects of it. Yet at the same time, i will not miss other aspects of it. its like a catch 22....
Ok I started this point like 2 hours a go and then got sidetracked into a conversation with my roomie....so I reall y have no idea where I was taking this post...hmm
I guess prayer would be that God just give me continualled wisdom and understand for stuff going on. Pray that he will provide the words for me to speak.
thanks
God Bless
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Hanging out with the Ladies!
So here I am, sitting in Grand Forks with three pals from school! For our birthdays this year, we decided to take a weekend off and head here to grand forks for a night and just hang out. It is pretty sweet and I honestly didnt think it would happen cause we would get to busy and what not, but Here I sit! Its sweet. The four of us started SBC together and now 2.5 years later, still going at it strong! There have been many ups and downs along the way that is for sure. but going to through a movie in here!
take care
take care
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Changes
So this thought/topic has been on my mind lots lately...it might have somethign to do with the fact that I am graduating in April and thus have to deciede what to do next, and I am sure I have written about it before, so if some of it is repititve, I apologize but yah just a few things that has been on my mind lately.
To sort of follow from last post, and once again, I do not have a lot of time, change...but what is change, when does it happen and why does it happen?!
Just with having a few conversations with some people, I know change is VERY real (like duh Nikki, no kidding, go figure!) but its been interesting to read past journal entries that I have written for various reasons for mission trips, assignments this and that type stuff. It is through these writings and other stuff that I raelizehow much I have changed and how I have realized how much other people change as well. I had a meeting a few weeks back with one of my profs, just talking abotu Ukraine and now Philippines more recently and I remember my first class with him back in my first year (wow that makes me sound old!) but yah its true and now realizing where I am at. It was great. We chatted abit about my practicum and different qualities that I have and could work on etc. Now for those that know me growing up, I NEVER would ahve said I was outgoing, a public speaker or someone who likes to teach, but that is what I have been hearing lately from people. he mentioned that I have the ability...and this comes through in photography as well, to be observent and laid back. this helps me take in what is around me and be able to process things as they happen/say the right thing and all of that. he also mentioned perhaps teh gift of teaching. Its wierd though how my dad has always said I should be a teacher, but I have always very quickly, shut that down...then after the first year of camp that I did, the supervisor there told me that perhaps I should look at teaching down the line, then recently, my Ukraine review, and a friend who I started school with here at college randomly mentioned that! God, what are you trying to teach me, tell me? I never would have thought of myself as a teacher or leader. But SBC has showen that to me as well....they have developed the leadership ability in me. Growing up, I never was the leader of the group..its not to say I am a follower of the crowd (I mean really, have you seen.heard the traveling I have done!) but those qualities were never really developed within me. Its been fun to realize and see as well
God is good. He did/has and will continue to, put amazing people in my life. People who are stretched me, challenged me, informed me of the world around and have helped me grown in SO many ways! Thanks guys, you know who are you!
Keep on living for GOD!
To sort of follow from last post, and once again, I do not have a lot of time, change...but what is change, when does it happen and why does it happen?!
Just with having a few conversations with some people, I know change is VERY real (like duh Nikki, no kidding, go figure!) but its been interesting to read past journal entries that I have written for various reasons for mission trips, assignments this and that type stuff. It is through these writings and other stuff that I raelizehow much I have changed and how I have realized how much other people change as well. I had a meeting a few weeks back with one of my profs, just talking abotu Ukraine and now Philippines more recently and I remember my first class with him back in my first year (wow that makes me sound old!) but yah its true and now realizing where I am at. It was great. We chatted abit about my practicum and different qualities that I have and could work on etc. Now for those that know me growing up, I NEVER would ahve said I was outgoing, a public speaker or someone who likes to teach, but that is what I have been hearing lately from people. he mentioned that I have the ability...and this comes through in photography as well, to be observent and laid back. this helps me take in what is around me and be able to process things as they happen/say the right thing and all of that. he also mentioned perhaps teh gift of teaching. Its wierd though how my dad has always said I should be a teacher, but I have always very quickly, shut that down...then after the first year of camp that I did, the supervisor there told me that perhaps I should look at teaching down the line, then recently, my Ukraine review, and a friend who I started school with here at college randomly mentioned that! God, what are you trying to teach me, tell me? I never would have thought of myself as a teacher or leader. But SBC has showen that to me as well....they have developed the leadership ability in me. Growing up, I never was the leader of the group..its not to say I am a follower of the crowd (I mean really, have you seen.heard the traveling I have done!) but those qualities were never really developed within me. Its been fun to realize and see as well
God is good. He did/has and will continue to, put amazing people in my life. People who are stretched me, challenged me, informed me of the world around and have helped me grown in SO many ways! Thanks guys, you know who are you!
Keep on living for GOD!
Monday, February 08, 2010
Life
So I am sitting here, procrastinating doing homework, what else is new... and just thinking, I know me thinking is a scary thing. With Grad right around the corner, just thinking as to what is next in my life and how far I have gotten, or become now. Like had someone said to me three years ago I would be where i am now, and having experienced the things I have and all, i would have just have laughed in your face. To be point blank honest, yeah I would have laughed in your face. But I guess God thought differently. it is amazing the lessons he has taught me, and is continuing to teach me, each and every day. For some of the lessons, I am learning that it is over 2 years that I am learning the same thing...if that made sense and if you were able to follow that, good on ya! This post could go on and on, but there is a dorm meeting shortly..which I must go to...ah well so it goes I guess.. But yah, remember to look for the moments where God is teaching you, remember that he is not always in the Loudness of everthing, but sometimes in the quietness and all of that!!! Remember that ok!?
peace out!
God Bless
peace out!
God Bless
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Flashback...
THought I would post this post from last year around this time! It is interestign to note how some of it still relates to here and now...hmmm...oh and this friday is missions day here at school and i am once again having lunch with the reps from SEND...now that the trip is over..just to chat about it and hang out! Funny how that works eh?
Enjoy...
"So I am sitting here in dorm...sticking around in dorm this weekend and decided to just journal on the computer... So here are some thoughts, some prayers, straight from the Heart...
God, where are you and I at? Better there where we were awhile a go-that I know. I am really loving my classes here, especially Psalms this semester. I am totally finding you in the Psalms and falling once again in love with You and its awesome! That fire that I lost for a bit, is slowly being inflamed once again and being energized which I am stoked about! Praise God.
Today was also Mission day here at the school and I love where I am now compared to where I was last year. Last year I was so confused after today, not knowing what to do or what life had in store for me. I still don't know, but I am learning to just trust You God. I had a really good talk today with the reps from SEND international who I hope to go with this summer to the Ukraine for 6-8 weeks for ministry as well as camp work there. We didn't really talk much that had to do with SEND itself, but just getting a "feel" for each other and being able to put a face to a name and all. It was good and found some similar connections that we each knew. God is good.
One thing all the mission reps said in the little session is just the whole idea of trusting God. With everything! I am learning to trust God with my finances. Both with school and raising support for the Ukraine and Philippians as well. Father I pray now that you continue to give me this peace about it that I am having. Continue to work in me and through me. The thought of fundraising is a little daunting and intimidating, but its an experience and I know I have to trust you and money will come in that I know. Please Lord-teach me. Provide for me both Financially and prayerfully as well. You are the great giver. Lord help me to continue to trust you. Help me to continue to Fall in love with You more and more. This is my prayer dear God.
Enjoy...
"So I am sitting here in dorm...sticking around in dorm this weekend and decided to just journal on the computer... So here are some thoughts, some prayers, straight from the Heart...
God, where are you and I at? Better there where we were awhile a go-that I know. I am really loving my classes here, especially Psalms this semester. I am totally finding you in the Psalms and falling once again in love with You and its awesome! That fire that I lost for a bit, is slowly being inflamed once again and being energized which I am stoked about! Praise God.
Today was also Mission day here at the school and I love where I am now compared to where I was last year. Last year I was so confused after today, not knowing what to do or what life had in store for me. I still don't know, but I am learning to just trust You God. I had a really good talk today with the reps from SEND international who I hope to go with this summer to the Ukraine for 6-8 weeks for ministry as well as camp work there. We didn't really talk much that had to do with SEND itself, but just getting a "feel" for each other and being able to put a face to a name and all. It was good and found some similar connections that we each knew. God is good.
One thing all the mission reps said in the little session is just the whole idea of trusting God. With everything! I am learning to trust God with my finances. Both with school and raising support for the Ukraine and Philippians as well. Father I pray now that you continue to give me this peace about it that I am having. Continue to work in me and through me. The thought of fundraising is a little daunting and intimidating, but its an experience and I know I have to trust you and money will come in that I know. Please Lord-teach me. Provide for me both Financially and prayerfully as well. You are the great giver. Lord help me to continue to trust you. Help me to continue to Fall in love with You more and more. This is my prayer dear God.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Lessons from Filipino's...
So a really good friend of mine, told me, or suggested to me that I should update this thing....and she is so right! I have been meaning to, but life is life yah know...it gets crazy so I will do a little of it now.
Where to begin...well Christmas came and went...its already Feb...so we will just say its good and move on from there. Mission X Philippines was AMAZING!! Wow where to begin!?!?! God showed/taught/reminded me so much on this trip! Like wow we serve an amazing wonderful God!! He is so so so so SO good!!
He showed me so much while i was there that this post could go on and on but I will highlite a few things that stick out. first...he showed me what it meant to serve him each and every day, passionatly and continually, no matter HOW busy we think we are, we will gotta serve and not only should we serve, but we should serve with a willing and honest heart. (see story below about street ministry with Mervi and Krista)
He taught me what it meant to be humble. In one of the school classes, we were asked to say a few words on God's meakness and humbleness and how we are suppose to respond to that...wow that threw me off gaurd! THe Filipino culture knows humble and meakness way better then we do as north americans...and so I totally felt like a hypocrite! that right there was a humbling experience thats for sure!
Going to the local school was awesome, Filipino lessons on food and culture 101! We were given a lot of information...dont ask me to re state it all casue not sure just how much I remember but it was still very neat all around.
Both of the weekends that I was in the Philippines, I spent in different parts of Manila and Metro Manila. The first weekend, was our home stay, and it is here that Tracee and I, ventured into metro Manila to spend the weekend with a Filipino family. It is this weekend, where I God challenged me the most through the two sisters of our host family. Krista and Mervi, once again thank you So much for such an eye opening experience that weekend! It is a weekend I will not soon be forgettign and you two have no idea the impact you have had on my life just by that one weekend. We spent a evening with the street kids that both Krista and Mervi knew and wow, watching those kids warm up to both of the sisters and seeing the sisters respond to them...so passionatly and genuienly..it moved me. Like it is hard to describe. God is totally working in all of their lives and I am so excited to meet them again...whether thats here on earth or in Heaven. Its going to be a party! woot woot woot!
It is this weekend, through Krista and Mervi, that I learned what it meant to serve with your whole heart continually and passionatly without expecting or wanting anything in return. So often here in North America, we expect an outcome or to have someone to recognize us and the work we are doing/did, but North Americans...we have it so wrong. Perhaps it is not us who should go out and witness, but perhaps we are the ones that need to be witnessed TOO. I learned what it meant to serve in the Philippines, to give God your all, even when you can not give any more. I was reminded to praise him through it all, through whatever life brings because our faith in God is all that matters in the end. I was reminded of the importance and value of friends and family alike. The list could go on and on with what I learned that weekend, but if you wanna know more, come chat with me.
The second weekend, we visited two different squatter areas and it is here we saw extreme poverty and loss. However, it is also here that we saw breathtaking beauty and richness. We saw adults, children, teens, and the babies and we realized that the look on their faces wasn’t what we had imagined it would be, sad and depressed. But instead, it was of joy and happiness. It was of warmth and gladness. It was a spiritual richness that we often lose here in North America.
What did God teach me during my time in the Philippines? He reminded me once again at how my camera can be a connecting tool used for Him. As soon as I pulled it out, the kids were around it, making silly faces and just being kids. It was so much fun. It confirmed a calling in my life to serve God and to realize that I my camera can be a tool for that.
As a team, I think we connected very well. we had a lot of fun hanging out and chatting, laughing, and sharing our victories and struggles with the group. God worked through us and he worked IN us during our time there. Like i say, there are MANY more stories to tell and share...but those will have to wait. If you are in the area, lets go for coffee, if you live somwhere else, I have skype, lets skype. If not, just read this and remember that we are human beings, not human doers...go out for coffee with the next person you see...get to know them and see them for how God sees them and YOU!
yah those are just a few stories among that many!
(happy now Nat that I updated it! :D)
How about you? how is God moving in your life these days?
God Bless
Where to begin...well Christmas came and went...its already Feb...so we will just say its good and move on from there. Mission X Philippines was AMAZING!! Wow where to begin!?!?! God showed/taught/reminded me so much on this trip! Like wow we serve an amazing wonderful God!! He is so so so so SO good!!
He showed me so much while i was there that this post could go on and on but I will highlite a few things that stick out. first...he showed me what it meant to serve him each and every day, passionatly and continually, no matter HOW busy we think we are, we will gotta serve and not only should we serve, but we should serve with a willing and honest heart. (see story below about street ministry with Mervi and Krista)
He taught me what it meant to be humble. In one of the school classes, we were asked to say a few words on God's meakness and humbleness and how we are suppose to respond to that...wow that threw me off gaurd! THe Filipino culture knows humble and meakness way better then we do as north americans...and so I totally felt like a hypocrite! that right there was a humbling experience thats for sure!
Going to the local school was awesome, Filipino lessons on food and culture 101! We were given a lot of information...dont ask me to re state it all casue not sure just how much I remember but it was still very neat all around.
Both of the weekends that I was in the Philippines, I spent in different parts of Manila and Metro Manila. The first weekend, was our home stay, and it is here that Tracee and I, ventured into metro Manila to spend the weekend with a Filipino family. It is this weekend, where I God challenged me the most through the two sisters of our host family. Krista and Mervi, once again thank you So much for such an eye opening experience that weekend! It is a weekend I will not soon be forgettign and you two have no idea the impact you have had on my life just by that one weekend. We spent a evening with the street kids that both Krista and Mervi knew and wow, watching those kids warm up to both of the sisters and seeing the sisters respond to them...so passionatly and genuienly..it moved me. Like it is hard to describe. God is totally working in all of their lives and I am so excited to meet them again...whether thats here on earth or in Heaven. Its going to be a party! woot woot woot!
It is this weekend, through Krista and Mervi, that I learned what it meant to serve with your whole heart continually and passionatly without expecting or wanting anything in return. So often here in North America, we expect an outcome or to have someone to recognize us and the work we are doing/did, but North Americans...we have it so wrong. Perhaps it is not us who should go out and witness, but perhaps we are the ones that need to be witnessed TOO. I learned what it meant to serve in the Philippines, to give God your all, even when you can not give any more. I was reminded to praise him through it all, through whatever life brings because our faith in God is all that matters in the end. I was reminded of the importance and value of friends and family alike. The list could go on and on with what I learned that weekend, but if you wanna know more, come chat with me.
The second weekend, we visited two different squatter areas and it is here we saw extreme poverty and loss. However, it is also here that we saw breathtaking beauty and richness. We saw adults, children, teens, and the babies and we realized that the look on their faces wasn’t what we had imagined it would be, sad and depressed. But instead, it was of joy and happiness. It was of warmth and gladness. It was a spiritual richness that we often lose here in North America.
What did God teach me during my time in the Philippines? He reminded me once again at how my camera can be a connecting tool used for Him. As soon as I pulled it out, the kids were around it, making silly faces and just being kids. It was so much fun. It confirmed a calling in my life to serve God and to realize that I my camera can be a tool for that.
As a team, I think we connected very well. we had a lot of fun hanging out and chatting, laughing, and sharing our victories and struggles with the group. God worked through us and he worked IN us during our time there. Like i say, there are MANY more stories to tell and share...but those will have to wait. If you are in the area, lets go for coffee, if you live somwhere else, I have skype, lets skype. If not, just read this and remember that we are human beings, not human doers...go out for coffee with the next person you see...get to know them and see them for how God sees them and YOU!
yah those are just a few stories among that many!
(happy now Nat that I updated it! :D)
How about you? how is God moving in your life these days?
God Bless
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