Fall, coffee, walk, talks, God

If you were to pass me now on the street and ask me how I am doing-my answer will be "i am fine" or "I am good", and honestly, I can say that with peace in my heart and complete sincerity! Which makes me so happy to say/type/realize that! (given the last few days/weeks)
Through friends, long talks, journal-ling, scripture, prayer and a lot talking to God (which is like prayer...but yet different...) I know why (or a good reason why) my last few weeks have been like they were.  Actually, a piece of the 'puzzle' I just put together now as I am writing this.
But I know for a fact, that this last while-the Spiritual warfare has been very evident in my life-its hard to explain, but it cant be anything other than that.  My heart was very unsettled (not in a "I restless with life/wanna get out/travel" sort of way...but in a "I am lost, God help me" sort of way) I could not figure this out..why now God? After a trip or a "spiritual high', I get...but Africa was like months ago (and yes I know reverse Culture shock can happen up to 6 months later-but it never has really affected me, so i dont think it is/was that), and I have not had a 'Spiritual High' so to speak for a while...so I was really confused.

Then it dawned on me..Youth has started up again.  How does youth play into it you may ask? Something I love doing? anticipate every week? time given on the side to hang out with youth? This is a GOOD thing-totally and completely, 200%.  However, that is totally my point.  The devil knows just how GOOD it is, how we are fighting the GOOD fight.  he hates it.  I love it.  I know that is why he was pulling harder...making life difficult for me, causing me to question, stumble and fall.  Praise GOD that HE was there (as HE always is) to lift me up and to breathe Life into me once again.  A part of this process-was in fact-youth. Kick off was great, hanging out was a blast, but last week's bible study-hearing them Praise God through worship, through reading scripture and even just by showing up-by choosing to be there, and then hanging out after, chatting and sharing life with one another-what a HUGE blessing they are!

We (as leaders) had an incident a while back where, in sense, our youth ministry got challenge, almost to a point where it was called a 'waste of time (not those exact words but that idea).  This individual's comment upset me yes, but that too..I knew was satan speaking through-crushing with words.  Again, the youth GET it.  They really do.  People miss out SO much on not spending time with youth, with gettign to know them.  They really are 'the next generation' of the church and when I looked around at the youth singing and praising God the way they did-wow look out church and look out world! It is about to be shaken, spun around, turned upside down and inside out!  I can not wait for it!

Tonight, I enjoyed a coffee and cake pop with one of these amazing youths.  though the cake pop and coffee were really good, the company and conv. was the best.  Again, just sharing life and hanging out.  I was/am reminded of the fact that we get so caught up in our lives, we forget about those around us.  We dont take time to go for coffee any more and just talk.  It's sad.  It really is.  I was reminded why I am sticking around town for another year, and why I am so pumped TO stay here.  Investing in people's lives...its totally worth it. 

Though we may not see the complete rewards of it here on earth, we will one day...in Heaven.  Its gonna be a party there, that I know (and yes I may/will dance to!) but in the mean time, there is lots of work to do here. 

So if you are ever looking for me youth nights, well the place you will find me is at youth-investing into the next generation, encouraging, goofing off, learning, growing and praying....

Fall

It is September 1 and it is the first year since fall 2007 that I am NOT preparing to go back to SBC for another year...what a wierd feeling!!  its gonna take a while to process I think..umm no, actually I know it will take a while to think about and to once again, realize that I will not be going back... Right now, if I could I would be going back...again, I am amazed at by how much I am missing it.  but I need to ask myself, why am I missing it? What are my motives? Do i want to go back just cause its comfortable there?  becasue I love it there, and the people?  good reasons yes, but that doesnt make them right.  It is time to move on. not forget, just continue on with life.  Part of the thing that will be hard, is knowing what I will be missing.  last night, i was upstairs and like asleep by 10:45 but I caught myself thinking that that if i were going back to school..10:45 bed time is un heard of in dorm!  people ar ejust getting going then and there I was, going to bed..having to work 10 hours the next day...wow do things change.  I am going to miss the community..the people, walking in the halls..talking to the profs...causeing a little trouble and all....I am going to missing "giving" there...

That said, I am getting more and more excited for fall!  Working on plans to move out and live together with a friend here in town (which would be a whole NEW adventure..little nervous bout it, but should be good!) and so looking forward to getting involveed with youth and the girls there and just giving back...  It will be good to be around the community and to reconnect here and give back.  The response from people when they find out I will be sticking around, has seemed good, so excited about that.  Work wont always go good (in fact, today it sucked) but such is life.  I am learning  (always learnign) to lean on prayer and talk to God throughout the day at work, and that is helping.  I know God is here.  Although I will miss school and that life, i gotta live here in the present.  Take things as they come.  Strive to live Christ like...

pray for me k? that I wll be able to do that this fall and beyound..and to let God take control, to realize that yes SBC was amazing, it happend but this is here, this is now.