Fall

It is September 1 and it is the first year since fall 2007 that I am NOT preparing to go back to SBC for another year...what a wierd feeling!!  its gonna take a while to process I think..umm no, actually I know it will take a while to think about and to once again, realize that I will not be going back... Right now, if I could I would be going back...again, I am amazed at by how much I am missing it.  but I need to ask myself, why am I missing it? What are my motives? Do i want to go back just cause its comfortable there?  becasue I love it there, and the people?  good reasons yes, but that doesnt make them right.  It is time to move on. not forget, just continue on with life.  Part of the thing that will be hard, is knowing what I will be missing.  last night, i was upstairs and like asleep by 10:45 but I caught myself thinking that that if i were going back to school..10:45 bed time is un heard of in dorm!  people ar ejust getting going then and there I was, going to bed..having to work 10 hours the next day...wow do things change.  I am going to miss the community..the people, walking in the halls..talking to the profs...causeing a little trouble and all....I am going to missing "giving" there...

That said, I am getting more and more excited for fall!  Working on plans to move out and live together with a friend here in town (which would be a whole NEW adventure..little nervous bout it, but should be good!) and so looking forward to getting involveed with youth and the girls there and just giving back...  It will be good to be around the community and to reconnect here and give back.  The response from people when they find out I will be sticking around, has seemed good, so excited about that.  Work wont always go good (in fact, today it sucked) but such is life.  I am learning  (always learnign) to lean on prayer and talk to God throughout the day at work, and that is helping.  I know God is here.  Although I will miss school and that life, i gotta live here in the present.  Take things as they come.  Strive to live Christ like...

pray for me k? that I wll be able to do that this fall and beyound..and to let God take control, to realize that yes SBC was amazing, it happend but this is here, this is now.