So I just started reading through the books of James...ever have it when *Bam*, scripture just hits you smack dab in the head? (Not literally course...tho sometimes I am pretty sure I need it) but anyways, James, I think it will become/is already, a favorite book...already in James 1..things are hitting close to home. James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Practical? VERY. Encouraging? YES. James goes on to continue to write about temptations and trials and how God does not tempt us (v. 13) but that we tempt ourselves when we get dragged away. It is the good and perfect gifts that come from God and God alone (v. 17).
James 1:19-20 " My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires" Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...ok... I like to think of myself as someone who is quick to listen and slow to speak..however, being a person who likes to 'fix all things if possible", my slow to speak, often turns into quick to speak and slow to listen, and, well angry..., like I mentioned a few posts back..anger can come pretty easy and pretty quick to me... (still trying to figure out how to tame that...it will be a life long process I think/know)
James 1:22 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" I think this verse is pretty self explanitory right? the part I dont get, is where it says, "so deceive yourself"...anyone care to attempt to explain that part to me? cause I get that we are suppose to DO what scripture says,not just listen to it...do we deceive ourselves just by listening to it, but not DOING what it says?
Verse 26, is a kicker for me..again with the ideas/thoughts on the tongue and how vicious it can be..
" Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless"
I hope and pray, that this verse will just out at me full force the next time I wanna let me tongue loose..
I love verse 27. It wraps up chapter one so well (at least I think) and it is a verse that has also hit home coming off of Africa...it reads, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." What a wonderful image. But not only image..but an action...seriously people, spending time with orphans, with widows...some of the best, rejuventating, "God time", growing time you will EVER have. it is SO easy to do in place like africa, but what about now? what about where you are? where I am? hmm..not always so easy is it? perhaps it will look different here in canada, then it does in places LIKE Africa...but that doesnt change the meaning behind the words in James, or in our actions and how we respond...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Honesty
It has been one of those weeks that I wish I could just erase from history...a week that I wouldnt even re-do (even if I could make it better) I would just flat out, skip it. But wait, that said, there were two really good coffee/hang out times during the week that actually, I would not change...but 95% of it I would change.
I need to journal, need to write or something, but as I stare at my computer screen...I wonder just how much I should say.
TOday's sermon in church-was on gentleness-it was good and I am pretty sure it was one of those messages when its "written directly to you' type ones...only I am not sure just how much of it I heard (given whats been tumbling around in my head/heart lately). As I sit with my computer in my lap, usually I have my praise and worship play list running in the background-songs and lyrics alike that I have grown to know and love and have helped in some awesome praise and worship times to God...but lately-I am finding it hard to listen to those songs-maybe because I know things are not right in my heart and I am so good at self guilt tripping myself, that it is just easier to not play them, to not listen to the words with what they are saying and all. Why is giving up control so hard?
How am I suppose to help lead youth and be an example to young people around, when I am struggling so? Perhaps what some say, its true..."its my life, i will deal with it" and do just that, deal with it, but I have also come to find and believe that we were put on this earth to live in a community, to be able to trust one another and to hold each other accountable in our lives to whats going on.
Now, I also believe that there is a HUGE difference between accountability and gossip. Gossip just tears down, where as accountability builds up (even tho it might require some hard truth and confrontation-in the end, it is healthier)
That is something I do have an issue with this town, being small, a place where 'every one knows everyone', gossip is easy to fly around (and oh does it ever), and I have seen how it rips people apart. What are we, as a church, doing about it? to fix it?
We perform our 'christian duties (what the heck does that even mean?) right? We go to church on sunday mornings, put on a face and pretend everything is good... you have done it, I have done it..quite recently actually. Yes a large part of that is my fault (cause how are people suppose to know whats going on, if I dont let people know), but I also believe that another part of it, is the communities fault-we are too scared to step on one another toes, or to get into the 'dirt' of people's lives. (for the record, i am NOT saying expose whatever, in fact that does nothing BUT harm to so many people), but I believe that people are truly afriad to sincerly ask, "how are you", or people are afriad to answer that question truthfully...especially in the church community. Reputations are at stake right? we cant mess with those! goodness not!
Like I said, toddays sermon was on gentleness and one thing that I DID hear that I was reminded of and what struck out, was the very fact of HOW Jesus handled people. He would not 'break a bruised reid" He was just that gentle...but on the flip side-HE was Killed becuase of the buttons He DID press. reputation did not matter to Him, PEOPLE mattered. It was as simple as that. Where would/do i stand on that? HOw do I respond?
I think that that is part of my problem...wondering how to respond in a God-given way, one that is gentle yet firm, that is upbringing and encouraging, and not discouraging. life is a journey, an every day spiritual battle for our souls. It's a choice.
I need to journal, need to write or something, but as I stare at my computer screen...I wonder just how much I should say.
TOday's sermon in church-was on gentleness-it was good and I am pretty sure it was one of those messages when its "written directly to you' type ones...only I am not sure just how much of it I heard (given whats been tumbling around in my head/heart lately). As I sit with my computer in my lap, usually I have my praise and worship play list running in the background-songs and lyrics alike that I have grown to know and love and have helped in some awesome praise and worship times to God...but lately-I am finding it hard to listen to those songs-maybe because I know things are not right in my heart and I am so good at self guilt tripping myself, that it is just easier to not play them, to not listen to the words with what they are saying and all. Why is giving up control so hard?
How am I suppose to help lead youth and be an example to young people around, when I am struggling so? Perhaps what some say, its true..."its my life, i will deal with it" and do just that, deal with it, but I have also come to find and believe that we were put on this earth to live in a community, to be able to trust one another and to hold each other accountable in our lives to whats going on.
Now, I also believe that there is a HUGE difference between accountability and gossip. Gossip just tears down, where as accountability builds up (even tho it might require some hard truth and confrontation-in the end, it is healthier)
That is something I do have an issue with this town, being small, a place where 'every one knows everyone', gossip is easy to fly around (and oh does it ever), and I have seen how it rips people apart. What are we, as a church, doing about it? to fix it?
We perform our 'christian duties (what the heck does that even mean?) right? We go to church on sunday mornings, put on a face and pretend everything is good... you have done it, I have done it..quite recently actually. Yes a large part of that is my fault (cause how are people suppose to know whats going on, if I dont let people know), but I also believe that another part of it, is the communities fault-we are too scared to step on one another toes, or to get into the 'dirt' of people's lives. (for the record, i am NOT saying expose whatever, in fact that does nothing BUT harm to so many people), but I believe that people are truly afriad to sincerly ask, "how are you", or people are afriad to answer that question truthfully...especially in the church community. Reputations are at stake right? we cant mess with those! goodness not!
Like I said, toddays sermon was on gentleness and one thing that I DID hear that I was reminded of and what struck out, was the very fact of HOW Jesus handled people. He would not 'break a bruised reid" He was just that gentle...but on the flip side-HE was Killed becuase of the buttons He DID press. reputation did not matter to Him, PEOPLE mattered. It was as simple as that. Where would/do i stand on that? HOw do I respond?
I think that that is part of my problem...wondering how to respond in a God-given way, one that is gentle yet firm, that is upbringing and encouraging, and not discouraging. life is a journey, an every day spiritual battle for our souls. It's a choice.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A few joys..despite the pain
Despite the Hate that remains in my heart...I also realized shortly after postingmy last post, just how blessed I am and how really, my problems are so little and its so selfish of me to harbour the hate that I do have...that said, yes I still have to deal with it and the situation isnt going to go away on its own and I will have to continue to wrestle through my feelings and figure them out...but is that not the amazing thing about grace? God's grace is enough and I just have to believe and trust that...even when satan threatens to pull that away..its then I just have to hold on tighter....
in the meantime..here are a few joys (and blessings) in my life lately :D And I thank God for them...
in the meantime..here are a few joys (and blessings) in my life lately :D And I thank God for them...
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| O Africa..how I miss thee! |
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| natural beauty of God's creation |
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| college friends! |
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| Youth Girls! |
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| crazy lemons! (look whats in our mouths! awesome fun!) |
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| Youth girls and guys |
There are many many more as well...but these are a few for now
Hatred
So I discovered today (though somewhat of an unfortunate event), that I have a problem with hatred. Yes, it maybe/is a strong word..but it is something that struck me with this event. Not only that, but it also scared me..as I never thought I would be capable of holding on to hatred towards any body. Grudges maybe, but hate? Yah, it scared me.And I really dont know what to do with it...well ok, thats not entirely true...make amends right? Give it up to God? I know. But that is so much easier said then done as well....
Funny how, we can go from such a spiritual 'high' to a low literally over night. Part of me is convinced that satan works harder to destroy those who are close to YAHWEH...its like we have more to lose or something...I have not quite yet figured out that piece of the puzzle yet.
Funny how, we can go from such a spiritual 'high' to a low literally over night. Part of me is convinced that satan works harder to destroy those who are close to YAHWEH...its like we have more to lose or something...I have not quite yet figured out that piece of the puzzle yet.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
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