Once upon a time- Persecution (Romania)

God keeps ‘taking me back’ to Drăgănești-Olt, Romania and three years later, I am only now learning torealize the impact that was made upon my spiritual life, while there.  Truly, it is the place that began to open my eyes to the ‘unseen supernatural’ world that is around us every day. 

*Now, I feel as though I should also place a disclaimer.  When I mention the ‘unseen supernatural world’, I am only referring to that which is talked about throughout scripture, nothing more.  As a point of reference; I would like to highlight Ephesians 6:10-20 but take note of verse 12 specifically.  This is the world that God truly began to open up my eyes to while in Romania.  I pray that Grace and understanding will fall upon you as you continue to read.

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.¹⁹Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

I would like to share a story with you that involved myself, team-mates, our contacts and local police authority.

September 2013

I remember the day as though it was yesterday.  After spending another morning soaked in prayer, worship and meditation our ‘mission’ for the day was to visit a nearby town and hand out tracks.  Handing out “tracks” is one way in which the local church evangelizes.  The goal was simple.  Break into groups of 2-3 people and go door to door in the village handing these tracks out.  We were too knock on each door and engage the homeowner in conversation (if they were home and open to having a conversation), or place a track at the door if there was no reply and move onto the next homestead.  

Simple and harmless right?

I would think so, however, I have neglected to mention a few key political aspects.  In Romania, you are free to follow Jesus.  You are free to believe what you would like to believe.  However, when it came down to evangelism, local authority (police/ mayor etc) had final say as to it being allowed or not.  Basically, you could end up in jail if you were caught evangelizing in a town/community that deemed it illegal.  

Not so simple anymore is it?

Keeping this in mind, we piled into vans and collectively headed out.  As we drove, I wrestled.  I bargained with God and I pleaded to Him to simply keep me safe.  I am not sure if my contacts or my team could tell how nervous I was about what we were about to do.  Nervous is actually an understatement.  I was flipping scared…Like a broken record, the thought of ‘I could literally get thrown into jail simply for talking about Jesus’ continually filled my brain.  Guilt filled me, as I recalled countless of conversations with friends/family back home in Canada in which I proclaimed that I would ‘die for my faith’. Yet here I was, afraid to simply hand out tracks at the thought of it potentially landing me in jail.  I was so out of my comfort zone and we hadn’t even started.  With the final words of “have fun!” from our contacts, we were dropped off in the middle of the village; with half the teams going right while the rest of the teams took the left side of the village.  Before I knew it, I was walking up to the first house whether I was ready or not.  Truth be told, I don’t remember much of actually handing tracks out or the response from the locals.  It was like time had stopped.  Perhaps what happened next, is why I don’t remember much of anything else.

The group I was with, had run out of tracks and so we headed to our central point for more to keep going.  It was there that we were informed of what was going on by a fellow squad member.  We were asked to stop what we were doing and to pray.  Remember how I mentioned earlier about how the local authority had the final word in evangelism being legal or not?  Turns out, the local authority (police and town council/mayor) of the village we were in, had established a law AGAINST street evangelism.  Basically, we were all committing a ‘crime’, punishable with jail time, by simply handing out pieces of paper that included the Jesus’ work on the cross (aka Tracks).  I think my temperature must have risen about 25 degrees. 

Information was limited about our squad-mates.  We knew that the group of about 10-20, who had gone the opposite direction than my group did, were being held at the local police station.  To our knowledge at the time; local authority was debating what to do with them.  There was talk of simply giving them a fine and releasing them but there was also word about jail time as the mayor wanted to ‘make an example’ of them. By this point, those of us who were able to, were literally on our hands and knees praying.  Not only were we praying but we prayed with the authority in Jesus’ name.  An authority ABOVE ALL authority.  We knew God is LORD and that HE would prevail.  We knew, well I was honestly learning ‘on the fly’, and that our battle wasn’t against flesh or blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Our contacts were actively involved in trying to settle this quickly (while still holding to the Truth of God’s Word).  They knew of the ‘battle’ that laid ahead as they had personally experienced this form of persecution before.  However, my admiration/respect for my contacts, grew as we got word that they refused to ‘back down’.  They were sticking to what they believed, trusting that God would provide what was needed, even if that meant going straight to the USA embassy in the capital. (*side note, I was the only Canadian on my squad so those being held were all American and because of this, I was personally told to try and stay further back from everything-but to continue to pray).

Not only did God provide a supernatural sense of peace to us (and those being held), I truly believed that He opened the eyes of the police and council in a supernatural way.  Before long, EVERYONE was released and we were ALLOWED to KEEP handing out tracks.  We were told later, by team-mates who sat at the police station unsure of what laid before them; of an incredible peace that they felt throughout the ordeal.  A peace that they could only explain came to them through our prayers.  They told of us unbelieving police officers who ridiculed and mocked them at first but who later asked for tracks for themselves and for their families because they too, wanted to know of this JESUS.  They wanted to know of whom these young people were willing to go to jail for!!  Talk about the power in Jesus’ name alone! What satan deemed for evil, GOD magnified into glorious POWER.  Darkness was forced into the light.  Truth became known and God’s Kingdom on earth was established further. 

God would later use an Indian missionary couple in Cambodia; to further teach me about PRAYING FOR persecution among our churches (especially the North American churches) today.  God taught me about trusting in Him in ALL situations; through a Filipino pastor couple confident that God would provide for them, a green roof for their church simply because God is a ‘God of colour’.  God would also reveal to me more of the power of the supernatural realm through a South African believer passionate about early morning prayer and meditation and bringing God’s Word through the game of football (soccer).  For now; God once again affirmed to me of His unfailing love to His children and the true honour it is to lay our lives before Him regardless of our unknown futures. 

Its taken me 3 years to begin to realize the impact this specific experience had on me and my faith.  I am not claiming to ‘know all the answers’ as I am still on this journey with God.  Rather I am simply bearing witness to the supernatural power that God has given every Believer, through the Holy Spirit.  After all, it was Jesus Himself who said that, ‘But I tell you the truth, it is for your benefit that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you” John 16:7. Jesus also spoke these words, “and I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you do know Him, for He abides with you and He will be in you” John 14:16-17. 

Prayer works.  God hears and He is here.

Seasons of Change (God's Grace)

.I forgot how much I missed the changing of seasons; specifically winter to spring and summer to fall.  There is a sense of awe and wonder that I get as I watch the bare trees slowly start to get their buds back and, before you know it, those buds blossom into flowers or leaves.  Flowers that will later turn into young fruit as it begins to reach maturity.  Leaves that will grow large and provide shade from the intensity of the summer heat, to the earth below.  Within the change from summer to fall; those young fruits will become food to humans and animals alike, providing valuable nutrients to the body.  Those leaves that once provided shelter, will turn brilliant colours of red, oranges, yellows and more before knowing that they must fall to the ground because if they were to stay on the tree throughout the winter, the weight of the snow upon them, may pull down the entire tree.
Today is May 29, 2016.  It's early Sunday afternoon.  Church this morning consisted of familiar pews, youth led worship and a message spoken in English by a local pastor.  Lunch followed and I can now feel the cool breeze, mixed with the warmth of the sun, upon my skin.  The leaves are out and the birds are singing and in this moment, I find my mind wandering back to a small plot of land; filled with laughter and sounds of joy coming from 150+ kids.  May 29, 2015 I was in another country, in a very different part of the world.  The ground I walked upon wasn't filled with green grass, rather the ground mainly consisted of rocks and sand.  Instead of young apples on the fruit trees, I would find myself under the massive leaves of the banana trees.  My Sunday's consisted of 'kid led' churches followed by afternoons of photoshoots and bible study time with the young teens.  As I pause to reflect where I am now, to where I was last year this time, I miss those 'carefree moments', my 'kids' and everything that came with it and I know that apart of me will always yearn to be back at my 'home away from home'. 

Ironically enough, I am once again finding myself in a season of change despite the fact that really nothing in my life HAS changed.  I am still in the same town, working the same job as I have been now for the last 10 months, attending the same church, hanging out with the same youth 'kids', walking the same streets I've walked basically all my life, frequenting the same small town coffee shops where everyone knows everyone and waking up each morning to basically the same routine each and everyday. Here's the thing though, I LOVE IT and there is no place I'd rather be than right here, right now.

So what is this 'season of change' that I am in?  In short; its learning (and then embracing) the change of the little things in life.  Things like the seasons physically changing from one to another.  It is learning to 'see' God differently and to seek Him in the 'normalcy' of everyday life.  It has been amazing really, as I have learned to slowly open myself up to Him more and more within the last 10  months since returning from Africa last July.  Through the recent journey, there have been many ups and downs along the way.  There have been moments where I could do nothing but pray in desperation while there have been other moments of giving thanks and rejoicing in the victories that were won.  It has not been a journey I have walked alone as God continues to put 'random' people in my life at the precise right time.  People that He has used (and continues to use) to challenge, support and encourage me in my own walk with Him (whether they realize it or not).  Through this process, He continues to remind me that He created us for community, to live in relationship with one another and, ultimately, HIM. 

As I look Heavenly ward towards the sky, I can see the bright white clouds passing by across the blue sky, taking on a variety of shapes and forms along the way.  Even in that, God's fingerprint is evident.  In the season of change that I am finding myself in; a new 'realization' comes to mind...every breath that we take, is a gift.  It is a precious gift that we do not deserve or are of worth to receive. 

But isn't that what God's Grace and, ultimately, love is all about? I am convinced now more than ever before; that HE is LORD and my lips will praise Him no matter what season I find myself in.  With every breath HE graciously gives me, I will proclaim who He is.  My life is His and His alone.

Church

What an interesting day (to say the least today).  I was quite looking forward to church this morning because I hadnt been there yet at all this month! crazy I know! Not that I am using these as an excuse-but I sort of am...one weekend was long weekend (I was gone), and last weekend was our church conference in a different town-so our services were cancelled.  BUT point being, I was quite looking forward to heading back and worshiping with people there.  I had no idea how interesting the day would be...

I woke up to a nice rain (which, after having like +35 for 3 weeks, was a welcome blessing), went to church and discovered the pews I grew up sitting on, where gone.  Instead-there were chairs! weird! I knew our church sold the old pews and are getting new chairs (good use of money? another topic for another time)-but point being-that really threw me for a loop...church almost seemed "less welcoming?" if that makes sense?

The service was really good and the worship (music part) was good as well. Actually the service was on "worship" and what it is (another discussion for another day) but it was still a good service! well done Ryan!

So, like normal after church I stuck around a bit and was one of the last ones to leave...went to go look for my jacket and well, long story short-my jacket got 'taken' (for lack of better word)...Im thinking someone accidently grabbed it instead as there was another lone jacket there when I looked...so i biked home (in the rain) and ended up going back to attach a note to the other jacket..BUT it was NOT there!!!!!!! One would think that if the person realized they took the wrong one...would bring the other one back too when they went to go get theres...

Now really, I dont really care.  its just a jacket..but the thing that sucks-is that my keys (work included) were on a landyard in my pocket in my jacket (usually keep those in my pant pocket, but for some reason today-figured they would be fine in my jacket-ironic eh?)  Praise God I have an extra house key and will just get a new work key tomorrow.

What a way to start the day


middle of the day was good

I left my parents to head home later in the evening and discovered a small leak in my bike tire (mode of transportation to work...) great.  Thank you God for dad's!  Although my parents were gone, when they got back, my dad patched my tire...so I am hoping its good to go still tomorrow!

needless to say-I will be glad when today is over-maybe it will go better tomorrow?

Going for needles later this week (travel needles)..could be an interesting week!!

Peace...and a blessing!

We had a really good sermon today in church.  It was one of those that I could really connect with.  It was based in Matthew 13:53-58; which reads "When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. ⁵⁴ Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. ⁵⁵ “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? ⁵⁶ Aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” ⁵⁷ And they took offense at him.
   But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.”
 ⁵⁸ And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith."

 Our pastor went on to talk about biblical faith.  About what faith is NOT and what Biblical faith IS.   He mentioned something that i found interesting with, but totally agree.  He talked about how  when people question their faith, or go around and SEEK answers to questions and have questions in general-it is sometimes (a lot of times) looked "down upon". The question is then thrown back at the person-"where is your faith? you should not be asking those things" etc

For myself-those questions annoy the heck out of me! I am a firm believer  in asking questions but then also SEEKING answers to those questions (in the right places hopefully).  The most important spiritual years of my life-where also the toughest.  The times when I seeked answers to questions.  Times when I realized that not only did I not have the answers I was looking for, but other Christians way older than me-also didnt have the answers.  At the time-this annoyed me too-but now I am so glad they were honest with me as it made me realize that it is ok to have questions, to seek answers.  it is not all about theology but about so much more. (dont get me wrong tho-theology is important-something that a prof at college reminded me of in his special way-thanks Prof Gord!)

I hope the youth were listening extra to that today especially-cause I know there are lots of questions especially in that age and they need that reminder that it is OK to ask, to seek.  in fact-God tells us to.  We are not suppose to take everything we hear, to heart-even with our own pastors and leaders. THey are human and do make mistakes.  Scripture is Truth.

he also referenced James and how it talks about 'faith without actions-is dead'.  This too-is something I have struggled with in the past (and still do).  I still believe that in the long run-I will end up overseas in missions and so I wrestle with why I am here, at home-working isntead of being "out there".  BUT then it hits me again-its my youth.  this weekend reminded me of that.  I went to see a movie with a few on friday, and had one girl over yesterday eve for frappes and a movie.  I love connecting with people outside of youth-that is when the real conversations and growth happens-what a blessing it is! Again, for now-it confirmed to me that this, right here and now-where I am, is where I am suppose to be.  There is this peace from God. This is my actions being shown-through my faith.  My Faith is not dead and its very much alive (through my actions).  My hope, my prayer for this next year and as this school year of youth finishes up-is that God will continue to use me espeically in the lives of the young women in youth-to draw closer to HIM and grow a passion desire to love and serve Him.  For me to be there for them, when they have tough questions and fears.  Not to necessairly lead, but to help guide.

Prayer is huge.  I pray constantly for my 'girls' and its awesome seeing the changes in them-even for only knowing them for the last few years-the change is there and its great! Peoplle have no idea, what they are missing out on by not being apart of youths lives!They are a HUGE blessing!

Honesty

It has been one of those weeks that I wish I could just erase from history...a week that I wouldnt even re-do (even if I could make it better) I would just flat out, skip it.  But wait, that said, there were two really good coffee/hang out times during the week that actually, I would not change...but 95% of it I would change.

I need to journal, need to write or something, but as I stare at my computer screen...I wonder just how much I should say. 

TOday's sermon in church-was on gentleness-it was good and I am pretty sure it was one of those messages when its "written directly to you' type ones...only I am not sure just how much of it I heard (given whats been tumbling around in my head/heart lately).  As I sit with my computer in my lap, usually I have my praise and worship play list running in the background-songs and lyrics alike that I have grown to know and love and have helped in some awesome praise and worship times to God...but lately-I am finding it hard to listen to those songs-maybe because I know things are not right in my heart and I am so good at self guilt tripping myself, that it is just easier to not play them, to not listen to the words with what they are saying and all.  Why is giving up control so hard?

How am I suppose to help lead youth and be an example to young people around, when I am struggling so? Perhaps what some say, its true..."its my life, i will deal with it" and do just that, deal with it, but I have also come to find and believe that we were put on this earth to live in a community, to be able to trust one another and to hold each other accountable in our lives to whats going on. 
Now, I also believe that there is a HUGE difference between accountability and gossip.  Gossip just tears down, where as accountability builds up (even tho it might require some hard truth and confrontation-in the end, it is healthier)

That is something I do have an issue with this town, being small, a place where 'every one knows everyone', gossip is easy to fly around (and oh does it ever), and I have seen how it rips people apart.  What are we, as a church, doing about it? to fix it? 
We perform our 'christian duties (what the heck does that even mean?) right?  We go to church on sunday mornings, put on a face and pretend everything is good... you have done it, I have done it..quite recently actually.  Yes a large part of that is my fault (cause how are people suppose to know whats going on, if I dont let people know), but I also believe that another part of it, is the communities fault-we are too scared to step on one another toes, or to get into the 'dirt' of people's lives.  (for the record, i am NOT saying expose whatever, in fact that does nothing BUT harm to so many people), but I believe that people are truly afriad to sincerly ask, "how are you", or people are afriad to answer that question truthfully...especially in the church community.  Reputations are at stake right? we cant mess with those! goodness not!

Like I said, toddays sermon was on gentleness and one thing that I DID hear that I was reminded of and what struck out, was the very fact of HOW Jesus handled people.  He would not 'break a bruised reid" He was just that gentle...but on the flip side-HE was Killed becuase of the buttons He DID press.  reputation did not matter to Him, PEOPLE mattered.  It was as simple as that.  Where would/do i stand on that? HOw do I respond?

I think that that is part of my problem...wondering how to respond in a God-given way, one that is gentle yet firm, that is upbringing and encouraging, and not discouraging.  life is a journey, an every day spiritual battle for our souls.  It's a choice. 

Worship and church

So the other day in church...I was looking around and my mind wondered from the message (sorry Ben!) on to something else...still church related! It was this concept of worship, and church itself. The thought jumped into my head..."what IS worship?" Is it singing songs sunday morning and thats it? is it all of us bowing our heads when the pastor says its time to pray (if you ever wait just a tad longer and watch people bow their heads when that is said, its actally quite amuzing, as its like robots and out of habit..try it sometime...)? What is church? is it the place where we gather on sundays and that is it?

These are just a few of my thoughts, as it is something I am still processing and learning each and every day. For myself, church IS good (dont get me wrong) but it is not where I worship the best.  For myself, I come to learn a few things about myself...one-I need/crave community of some form.  Now this seems wierd then that church isnt a place where I worship the best, because it totally is a community...but what I think it is, is that its too big...at least the church where I am now....there are some people who I know...but over all its too big.  that is one thing I love abtou school now, is the student size of it.  people are not just friends, but we are like one big family...you get to reall yknow people and so feel more open and honest with them...something I dont feel when I go to church.  Perhaps smaller churches are different, I am not sure, but still.    I just do better in small, more intimate crowds.  This past summer at WBC, we had a few "jamming" sessions outside where people would pull out their guitars and we would just sing praises to God.  Ther was one day where 5-6 of us sat between teh dorms, one sunday and just played and sang..very informal, but God spoke more than to me, then I think he would have had I actually gone to a church buiilding. It was great...that is where I connect really well.
 
another place where I love to worship God, is anywhere on my OWN.  I LOVE going out and just taking my journal, camera and pen and "losing" myself somewher eout in the country or off somewhere.  Just taking pictures, even though i may not be thinking anything or saying anything... I guess its a gift God has given me and I just love using it and capturing his Beauty and glorifiying Him through that.  Plus it does give me a chance to be on my own since I am still an intervert at heart for sure.
 
And i think the same goes with church...smaller populations and more "one on one' situations...a place where one can really get to know each other and lift each other up in prayer.  Church now is great on sunday mornings, but school, chapels and just hanging out in dorm, chatting and sharing life together, is what i love. 
God is all around us no matter wehre we go.
 
So not sure why I wrote about that, but felt like I wanted to, needed to...
Just a few thoughts and I thought it was time to update this once again