choices

Choices suck.  Choices are hard.  Choices/Decisions need to be made.  I don't know if I will make the right one.  Yet I know God will use it, and me-no matter what I choose.

Blessed pt.2

Whew
Crazy afternoon since I posted the last post!!!
It's gonna be so hard to leave come Jan.  (yes yes I know I have said that a lot and you might be/are already sick of me typing that-BUT IT IS TRUE!)

I think that that is why this choice, the decision to "go" is so hard.  This afternoon-reminded me of that.  It reminded me of the work/need that is right here at home as well.  The need to build up, to encourage and disciple those around us-is ALWAYS there.  It is always present no matter where we are.  No matter what side of the globe we are on.

Recently, I was asked what my motives were/are for going in Jan.  Was it to travel? Do missions? see the world? Serve God?  The answer, I soon realized, is all of the above.  I WANT to travel.  I WANT to do Missions.   I WANT to see the world.  Most importantly- I WANT TO SERVE GOD.

I know I am.  Right here. Right now.  I am not questioning that.  I am not. If I was questioning it, it would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier to 'up and go'.

I realized lately too-is that I dont want my faith to be something that I do "sunday morning". I want to live it.  I want to embrace it.  I know i will fail.  I know I will mess up.  But I have to keep focus on Christ.

I saw a Facebook posted the other day-that read something like this "I would love to Go for coffee with God right now and just embrace all His wisdom and teachings-to just soak it in"

This got me thinking-how awesome would that be?  BUT YET-God is not far away.  We dont have to do something "magical" to draw near to Him or see Him.  We have the TRUTH.  We have His WORD.  We have the Bible.  It is the word of God.  THen and always.  IF we want to know Him, read scripture-that tells us who He is and what He calls us to do.  We have nature.  One look outside.  Look at the stars. Look at the sands.  Look at your head of hair!  HE KNOWS THE NUMBER OF HAIRS ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then you try to tell me that there is no God?  that God doesnt love me? I want to laugh at you.

  You say that 'we evolved from monkeys?'  Really?  Are you serious?  We are created in HIS image. HIS IMAGE-how amazingly awesome is that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Really.  Stop and think about it.

Thhink about how much your Creator loves you.

Be still.  Know that HE IS GOD.

Blessed

Its been a whirl wind week and a half-that is for sure!  For May long weekend, myself-along with two other friends from college-embarked on a 15 hr (one way) roadtrip out to Stony Plain Alberta-to visit another friend and her husband, from college.  Wow, what an adventure! we drove through the night both going down and heading back and so sleep was minimal.  But the time that we were able to spend out there-was MORE than worth it.  Pedicures, starbucks, West Edmonton mall, Mini golf, church, prayers, meals, laughters, photoshoots and lots of 'girl talk' was just some of the things we did as friends.  I had a new experience while shopping in West Ed. Mall-walking into (and buying) stuff from a maternity store (NO I am NOT pregnant! Just to clarify), for the friend that we were visiting.  Her and her husband are expecting their first child in Dec and so it was awesome being able to bless her with buying her, her first set of Mat. Clothes.  (but it was still weird walking in to that store!! but I son got over it!)

I also received my confirmation phone call/email from where I applied to for January.  I got it :)  I got accepted.  Now, I have till June 1 to pray about it and, if I still feel called to do it-get in a small deposit. 
After youth this last wednesday, I went online to my profile there and started going through some of the documents and well- I was/am quite overwhelmed.  Mind you, it was super late and I was emotional coming off youth (again realizing that it is almost done for another year and also realizing that I will NOT be around for a full year next year-that makes me sad!) and so the timing on my part to look at it-was not good! 

However-since then-reality has kicked in over emotion and I have been able to calm down and slowly start "kicking into gear".  Although I have yet to give them my confirmed "yes" or "No".

Which leads me to this morning's church service-camp/camp ministry and just plain on serving God!  Those fears that I had-well lets just say I was/am reminded about how BIG MY God is.  If I really think about it, I have NO reason NOT to say yes and go.  There is no other greater calling in life then to serve God.  Material things, money, our possesions and yes, even families, will pass away.  God wont. 

I gotta drill that into my head.  I have to make HIM my rock and shelter.  to build MY foundation on YAHWEH.  Now.  Always.

Connecting with God

I wanted this just to be a picture post from a latest photoshoot I had with one of my girls, but I just had to add (as it also applies to this post), that I LOVE seeing youth serving others and especially God, through their gifts and talents-whether that is Photography, kids camps, drumming, singing, baking or Hospitality (just to name a few).  It is so encouraging and what a powerful witness and testimony it is to the people around them! SO AWESOME!

On that note-check out some of these pictures-ALL GLORY to GOD and GOD ALONE

Success!?!?

I think I am going to set a record this month with Blog posts!
So my skype interview came and went yesterday-took a whole 33 minutes and 45 seconds form when I said "hello?!? can you hear me?" to "thanks for talking-have a good one! Cya!".  How did it go?  Well lets just say that that was the most honest I have every been with a complete stranger! (not sure if thats a good thing or not-but in this case-lets go with "yes").  Now, its a waiting game.  They take a week on their end to do a background/reference check on me (to make sure I am not a creep I guess!) and so I wait! Beyond that, I am not sure what happens-but I know its not in my hands tho-its totally and completely in God's Almighty Hands.  How am I feeling about it? Well-as my last post suggests-I was quite nervous 45 minutes leading up to it-but once it was done-it was like "thats it?" the peace is back-because like I said, I know its not in my hands-its in God's-always.

So yah, thats where I am at now with it-just thought I'd update ya'll (or who ever reads this still)

and here are some pics for your viewing pleasure!

Some photos from a recent photoshoot outdoors! Loving the spring weather for it!!!

Plus, I had awesome company join me on this photoshoot as well! Thanks Michelle!

Interview

In 45 minutes-I have an interview via skype phone for plans for next year.  But wait, I should back up a bit-Tuesday night I was finally able to 'muster up' the courage to hit the 'submit' button on my application and well, the next step is now an interview via skype.  Not gonna lie-I hate interviews (ok 'hate' is a strong word) but I thoroughly dislike em! I always get super nervous! (actually, the only interview I think I ever had-was one for work right out of high school--since then, I have been going to back to the same job and all--hmm weird and random!)

But yes, interview coming up shortly-it should be good.  I woke up this morning with a peace about it and had a peace about through the half day of work and until, right about now...which makes sense as its ticking closer and closer! So I gotta distract my mind a bit!

Last night, was pretty awesome again. Yes, it was a youth night.  I was running powerpoint for worship (and failing miserable at it if I may add! :P unplugged the thing like twice! ah well!) but that is not what made it awesome.  What made it awesome-was looking around at the youth-watching them worship-seeing them lift up their hands-knowing a little of where some of them started-and seeing just how far they have come since.  I wonder if they realize how far they have  each come in their walk with You Lord? I wonder if they actually realize how SPECIAL and Beautiful they are in YOUR eyes.  I wonder if they actually realize that when You feel far away and distant, is actually when You are the closest to them? I wonder if they realize that. I wonder...

I pulled one of them aside after-just to pray for this individual  for something they have coming up- and I realized that I dont do that enough.  I dont pull them enough and just pray with them.  I say I am praying for them (and I am) but to actually pray with them, for them, while they are right there....I totally slack at that.  Perhaps-if we actually spent time praying for one another-instead of just "saying' we are, I wonder how many more lives would be change, how many more people (youth and adults alike) see YOU move more? To realize that words can be filled with true meaning and care-instead of the empty words a lot of speak-instead of the empty words that society throws at us.

I want to be genuine. I want to be "raw".  With my youth, with my friends, my peers, co workers and the strangers I meet on the street in passing-whether here at home-or abroad.  I am slowly starting to realize how BIG the mission really is that God calls us to. Despite 24 years of living and 3 intense years of bible college- I feel so young in my faith.

So, in being genuine. In being 'raw'- I was asked what 'took me so long to hit the submit button?' and the answer to that was (and is still) FEAR.  I am terrified of what I think/know what God is calling me to do next.  As I sit here typing this-it is a beautiful day out and life is so good here in southern Manitoba-why would I leave? My job is good, family is going well and I love the ministry I am involved in.  I am a fool to leave it right?

I would argue I am a fool to stay.  Dont get me wrong I know God is using me here and I am so glad and thankful for that-however He does command us to GO , to give it up for Him.  To pick up our crosses for Him.  I am stil learning what that fully means.

In the mean time- I know I am around till Jan. 2013 for sure.  So within that time- I am gonna keep investing into the lives around me-to serve right here at home in anyway I can.  I know it wont be easy, but then again-Christ told us flat out that it would NOT be easy if we follow Him.
He is my rock.
He is my Redeemer.
He is my Love
He is my Shelter.
He is my LORD.

I will Go

The following link-sums up how I am feeling now.  I took a step of faith this evening.  I took that step 'out of the boat' and towards Jesus.  I dont know where this journey will lead me, or to who it will lead me or how I will change or be changed.  BUT I know who I want to LEAD ME on this journey-to speak through me.  I want to be HIS hands and feet-and a voice for the voiceless.


I will GO!

I realized this evening how easy it is to sing the lyrics of the song above-yet how HARD it is to actually step out and GO when God says GO.

I dont know whats next (well I do-a phone interview within the next week) but beyond that (and even that) is totally and completely in God's Almighty Hands.  For that- I am so thankful cause I would be SO lost without HIM.

Encouraged

Today was another one of those days that-through the stories of other people-I was encouraged.  For those that say "God doesnt exists" or "He is un loving and doesnt care about me"-part of me just wants to laugh (especially about the part about Him not existing...cause one look around nature-should speak otherwise-but thats not what this post is about).   I heard it said recently that people can (and do) argue the facts of the Bible till they are 'blue in the face', or they may not agree at all or anything with the teachings in the Bible BUT one thing they can not argue-are personal, life stories that people (Christians and non Christians alike) have.  One may choose NOT to believe their stories-but they cannot argue them by saying that it "didnt happen' or something like that.  That is the power in those stories.  That is a main reason why I LOVE hearing testimonies and just "God Stories" of things happening in people's lives.  It is so encouraging.

Through people's stories-you also realize that you are NOT alone on this Christian journey.  That other people have similar struggles to you (and, in some cases-they are almost the same).  I have found in my life, that it is encouraging as well to know that you are not alone-that it is ok to be mad at God, to yell at Him and to ask the famous question..."why?"

I know people struggle with these concepts.  I know from personal experience that I have too, struggled with this concept.  But really-God created every emotion and feeling.  If there is ever anyone who can handle someone being mad at them-its God.  The crazy awesome thing is-He loves us so much that He wont let go-WE might let go-but HE never will.  Its too bad that we often think that it is HIM who lets go of us.  We cannt be more wrong in that line of thinking.

One thing I am struggling with/wrestling with, as of late, is to know how to share that love-to remind people (especially young girls/women) of their worth in God.  I am struggling with this cause God has been remindng me just how awesome HE is and how much HE loves us-and for me NOT to be able to share it/show it-is tough.  I hope and pray that my actions speak louder than words-that people will be able to SEE God through me.

I have been encouraged lately with that very thought.  I have had a few different people mention to me different things along those same lines and that in itself, speaks so much to me!

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned.  In awe of the One who gave it all!  I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am-is Yours  "

Quick Hello

God is good.
Simple as that.
HE is my Calm through the storm.
HE is the One who fights for me.
HE knows me
HE created me-
in HIS image
HE created me.
HE wont let go-
I might-
but HE wont
HE is my Shelter
HE is my Strength
my King of Glory

I may not understand HIS ways
but thats ok

HE understands and knows where I am going-
even tho I do not

and I am ok with that

I mean really-
HE did create this world

HE DID die for me

NO OTHER god has done that

My GOD did

HE loves me that Much!