Connecting with God

I wanted this just to be a picture post from a latest photoshoot I had with one of my girls, but I just had to add (as it also applies to this post), that I LOVE seeing youth serving others and especially God, through their gifts and talents-whether that is Photography, kids camps, drumming, singing, baking or Hospitality (just to name a few).  It is so encouraging and what a powerful witness and testimony it is to the people around them! SO AWESOME!

On that note-check out some of these pictures-ALL GLORY to GOD and GOD ALONE

Fall, coffee, walk, talks, God

If you were to pass me now on the street and ask me how I am doing-my answer will be "i am fine" or "I am good", and honestly, I can say that with peace in my heart and complete sincerity! Which makes me so happy to say/type/realize that! (given the last few days/weeks)
Through friends, long talks, journal-ling, scripture, prayer and a lot talking to God (which is like prayer...but yet different...) I know why (or a good reason why) my last few weeks have been like they were.  Actually, a piece of the 'puzzle' I just put together now as I am writing this.
But I know for a fact, that this last while-the Spiritual warfare has been very evident in my life-its hard to explain, but it cant be anything other than that.  My heart was very unsettled (not in a "I restless with life/wanna get out/travel" sort of way...but in a "I am lost, God help me" sort of way) I could not figure this out..why now God? After a trip or a "spiritual high', I get...but Africa was like months ago (and yes I know reverse Culture shock can happen up to 6 months later-but it never has really affected me, so i dont think it is/was that), and I have not had a 'Spiritual High' so to speak for a while...so I was really confused.

Then it dawned on me..Youth has started up again.  How does youth play into it you may ask? Something I love doing? anticipate every week? time given on the side to hang out with youth? This is a GOOD thing-totally and completely, 200%.  However, that is totally my point.  The devil knows just how GOOD it is, how we are fighting the GOOD fight.  he hates it.  I love it.  I know that is why he was pulling harder...making life difficult for me, causing me to question, stumble and fall.  Praise GOD that HE was there (as HE always is) to lift me up and to breathe Life into me once again.  A part of this process-was in fact-youth. Kick off was great, hanging out was a blast, but last week's bible study-hearing them Praise God through worship, through reading scripture and even just by showing up-by choosing to be there, and then hanging out after, chatting and sharing life with one another-what a HUGE blessing they are!

We (as leaders) had an incident a while back where, in sense, our youth ministry got challenge, almost to a point where it was called a 'waste of time (not those exact words but that idea).  This individual's comment upset me yes, but that too..I knew was satan speaking through-crushing with words.  Again, the youth GET it.  They really do.  People miss out SO much on not spending time with youth, with gettign to know them.  They really are 'the next generation' of the church and when I looked around at the youth singing and praising God the way they did-wow look out church and look out world! It is about to be shaken, spun around, turned upside down and inside out!  I can not wait for it!

Tonight, I enjoyed a coffee and cake pop with one of these amazing youths.  though the cake pop and coffee were really good, the company and conv. was the best.  Again, just sharing life and hanging out.  I was/am reminded of the fact that we get so caught up in our lives, we forget about those around us.  We dont take time to go for coffee any more and just talk.  It's sad.  It really is.  I was reminded why I am sticking around town for another year, and why I am so pumped TO stay here.  Investing in people's lives...its totally worth it. 

Though we may not see the complete rewards of it here on earth, we will one day...in Heaven.  Its gonna be a party there, that I know (and yes I may/will dance to!) but in the mean time, there is lots of work to do here. 

So if you are ever looking for me youth nights, well the place you will find me is at youth-investing into the next generation, encouraging, goofing off, learning, growing and praying....

Worship

So, here it is...an update..one i have been meaning to do for a while.  How am I doing now, compared to last post?  Honestly?  Better.  Still not 100% but I know that that will take time.  since I last posted, I have had a number of chats with people in person, through email, skype, telephone and facebook and all of them have been really good and a lot of them have been super encouraging as well.  It is good to know that in this battle we are fighting, we are NOT alone...Praise be to God for that and so much more!  Work has proven to be a blessing other that the fact that its a job and I am getting paid there. and yes, there are days when i do not want to be there, but it has proven to be a blessing in the sense that I have a lot of time to think, which some days is not good, but others, it allows time for me to spend it in prayer.  To really pray for family and friends  and for those around me.  Through that, what I have discovered is that I need to be in constant communication with God.  like Hello "duh" nikki, the Bible mentions that, doesnt take a genius to figure that out...well actually it was a song by Big Daddy Weave to remind me of that.  I also realized that having the latest Christian song in my head during work isnt a bad thing either (though side note, sometimes it is really annoying having a certain song in your head that you just cant get out!), because I mean after all...that is worship as well, singing praises to God.

So then what the heck has been "wrong" with me lately?  Though i still think it has been a number of litttle different things (which after a while just add up) the biggest thing is My relationship with God.  Now, not sure if I have ever experienced spiritual warfare but honestly, thats what i think a big thing of it was...thats the only thing that makessense.  There was one day last week where I just lost it.  I was literally on my knees crying.  No, God did not miraculousy speak to me or anything like that, but after that, I just had this sense of peace, like it would be ok.  A few days after that, my aunt called for something and she mentioned/asked somethign on the phone which struck me....it was something along the lines of, "you sound better, you sound happy!".  now this struck me cause I dont recall even talking to my aunt at all during my "down time" so how would she know how I sounded then? but yah since then, things havegotten better.  Yes there are still moments, but those moments will always be there.  But so will faith, and so will God.  With Him, I know anything is possible and I just gotta keep believing that, hold strong to my faith and never let go