Through friends, long talks, journal-ling, scripture, prayer and a lot talking to God (which is like prayer...but yet different...) I know why (or a good reason why) my last few weeks have been like they were. Actually, a piece of the 'puzzle' I just put together now as I am writing this.
But I know for a fact, that this last while-the Spiritual warfare has been very evident in my life-its hard to explain, but it cant be anything other than that. My heart was very unsettled (not in a "I restless with life/wanna get out/travel" sort of way...but in a "I am lost, God help me" sort of way) I could not figure this out..why now God? After a trip or a "spiritual high', I get...but Africa was like months ago (and yes I know reverse Culture shock can happen up to 6 months later-but it never has really affected me, so i dont think it is/was that), and I have not had a 'Spiritual High' so to speak for a while...so I was really confused.
Then it dawned on me..Youth has started up again. How does youth play into it you may ask? Something I love doing? anticipate every week? time given on the side to hang out with youth? This is a GOOD thing-totally and completely, 200%. However, that is totally my point. The devil knows just how GOOD it is, how we are fighting the GOOD fight. he hates it. I love it. I know that is why he was pulling harder...making life difficult for me, causing me to question, stumble and fall. Praise GOD that HE was there (as HE always is) to lift me up and to breathe Life into me once again. A part of this process-was in fact-youth. Kick off was great, hanging out was a blast, but last week's bible study-hearing them Praise God through worship, through reading scripture and even just by showing up-by choosing to be there, and then hanging out after, chatting and sharing life with one another-what a HUGE blessing they are!
We (as leaders) had an incident a while back where, in sense, our youth ministry got challenge, almost to a point where it was called a 'waste of time (not those exact words but that idea). This individual's comment upset me yes, but that too..I knew was satan speaking through-crushing with words. Again, the youth GET it. They really do. People miss out SO much on not spending time with youth, with gettign to know them. They really are 'the next generation' of the church and when I looked around at the youth singing and praising God the way they did-wow look out church and look out world! It is about to be shaken, spun around, turned upside down and inside out! I can not wait for it!
Tonight, I enjoyed a coffee and cake pop with one of these amazing youths. though the cake pop and coffee were really good, the company and conv. was the best. Again, just sharing life and hanging out. I was/am reminded of the fact that we get so caught up in our lives, we forget about those around us. We dont take time to go for coffee any more and just talk. It's sad. It really is. I was reminded why I am sticking around town for another year, and why I am so pumped TO stay here. Investing in people's lives...its totally worth it.
Though we may not see the complete rewards of it here on earth, we will one day...in Heaven. Its gonna be a party there, that I know (and yes I may/will dance to!) but in the mean time, there is lots of work to do here.
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