Well done Good and Faithful one

March 2014 found me confronting ‘death’ for the first time in a long time and it was in the Philippines of all places. 

That month as a whole, was hard for me and truthfully, being a missionary ‘sucked’.   I missed home the most, it was my birthday month, month 9 of the World Race and I was simply sick of Asia (even though I don’t really consider the Philippines to be a part of it…it’s like its own little great world! Seriously if you can visit it, you should!)  At this point, God had not ‘shown up’ yet to me on the race in the way that I had expected Him too. Don’t get me wrong, He TOTALLY DID show up oh so many ways, every single day…but not how I was hoping/expecting. I was wanting God to heal and so far, He hadn’t. 

I recall it being a ‘cooler’ Filipino day (if there is such) as the constant heat and humidity was finally giving us a break.  My team and I knew that today, we would be attending the funeral of a local church lady whom myself and another teammate had prayed prayers of healing and peace over, just a few days (week) prior.  Truth be told, the day of the funeral was NOT a good day on so many different levels.  Some of which I can share, while others will remain quiet. 

As I mentioned, a teammate and I had visited this lady a few days prior to pray for her.  In my mind, this was the PERFECT chance for God to “show up” and heal…yet here I was, attending the funeral…WHAM…”Okay God, did you miss the memo?  Or what’s up? Can you explain it to me? Cause I don’t get it” were just a few of the thoughts and questions going through my head.  But it was what it was (as cold as that may sound).  Our contacts reminded us that this lady was not free of her earthly body and was rejoicing with The Lord above. Heaven got another angel. 

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This past weekend, I attended another funeral.  As I listened to people share stories, verses and special memories of whose life we were celebrating, the realization once again of how short life on earth really is…hit me.  I couldn’t help but think, “what will people say about me, when its my turn for my Lord and Saviour to welcome me home?”  Yes, given the context perhaps it seems selfish of me (and maybe it is) but naturally, the thought crossed my mind.

What WILL I be remembered for? WHO am I living this life for?

Life is precious. Life is oh so very precious.  In reality, both of these ladies ultimately made it to where they wanted to end up one day.  They made it to a place that our English language cannot even come close to describing. They arrived home. Safe and sound.  I know that upon getting there, they both heard the words, ‘well done GOOD and Faithful servant’.

Does knowing that, make the pain here on earth easier?

That’s not for me to answer.

What I can say though, is that God was (and still is) glorified through both of those lives lived.

And I can only hope that someday…the same will be said about me as I walk into those pearly white gates and hear the words, “Well done good and faithful servant”

Everything Glorious (The World at my 'door')

"You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
Yeah, You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?"

('Everything Glorious' David Crowder Band)

Instagram, Facebook (and I imagine, Twitter, if I had it) are filled with latest posts, blog updates, photos and status’s of friends going on, and currently on, missions trips.  I see photos of friends, still on their World Race adventure, rafting down flooded streets in Manila, to former squad mates/teammates leading Passport and World Race trips in Latin America exploring jungles and climbing mountains.  To other former teammates who are back in the land of South East Asia (Cambodia of all places!!! Oh my heart desires!!) and I am seeing the smiling faces of Khmer children once again.  

I cannot help but think… ‘that DANG news-feed…I wish I could stop getting updates!’

At this, I have to stop and pull myself back.  The thought of, ‘I wonder if this is a little of what friends and family here at home, went through last year while I was one the race?’ (*light bulb!)  It is not that I am jealous of them (okay maaaaaaaaaybe a little bit lot) but rather, I wish that it was me ‘out there’ enjoying those places, meeting people and simply living the life God has called me to live.  Wild and free…each day being the next great adventure.  Yet where do I find myself?  

 Sitting in a classroom, or in the library finishing up one paper and immediately starting on the next… But truly I tell you, I AM happy where I am in this season of life.  I really TRULY 100% am. 

Why do I need to ‘go out’ to see the world, when the ‘world’ is LITERALLY at my ‘front door’ and in my university classes?

Yep.  That’s right. Korea, Germany, Paraguay, Indonesia, Venezuela and China are just a few of the places where the people are from who I have met recently.  

Today alone, I was working on a Lab for one of my classes and, as I looked around at the 3 other faces before me, I realized that we had 4 different NATIONS represented there in a space no larger than an office space.  How awesome is that? One of my TESOL Profs said something pretty profound on one of the first day of classes that I believe will stick with me for my entire life.  It is something that I have always known in the back of my head and has been a part of my philosophy while traveling.  It is also one of the reason why I push those around me TO travel as I know from first hand experiences (and friendships) the value in it.  She asked us to look at our classmates-many of whom are NOT Canadian and come from some of the places I mentioned above earlier.  She said that, ‘yes we are classmates now, but the relationships and the friendships we, as students, are forming-have the potential to change the world.  Like to SERIOUSLY change it! To change it on a political level.  Who knows…the feisty Korean next to me, might very well be one of their next presidents.  Or the German sitting across, might someday have a role in leading their government to change.  My new Venezuelan roommate back at home, might someday return to her home country with the desire (and passion) to eliminate poverty in her neighbourhood.  The ‘kids’ I spent time with in Zambia, may very well someday BE the next Zambian President or, be the one to discover the cure for AIDS (YES LORD YES!!!)

Perhaps your thinking, ‘really Nikki? Not possible, ain’t never gonna happen.  There is no way one person can change the world like that’.  

Yes they can.  They have. 

(Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr, Rosetta stone, Abraham Lincoln , Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Jane Austen, and Anne Frank just to name a few...oh and what about a guy named JESUS?!?!)

But how does that apply to ME? Here and now, especially when I see crazy photos of friends boating down the amazon, or experiencing yet another typhoon in the Philippines?

It doesn’t.

BUT it reminds me of the GOOD work that GOD IS doing right here right now within my life.  Yes, my ‘adventure’ now looks different…but why do I need to go ‘see the world’ when the world is right here? Change starts now.  Change starts when I take an extra few minutes to help an international student with learning English.  Change begins when I help my new Venezuelan friend (and roommate) move in and experience life living on her own for the first time in Canada.

And, when my newsfeed/Instagram BLOWS up with photos and status’… it ultimately reminds me to PRAY for my friends who ARE overseas and for the CHANGE that GOD is bringing through them.  Race on friends!!

 RACE ON no matter where you are!!

 

"My eyes are small but they have seen
The beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
There's light enough to see
Oh, that
From glory to glory
You are glorious
You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious
You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
Why I can believe
From glory to glory
You are glorious"

A Sea of Faces

I am a sea of ever changing faces. 

From day to day, every morning when I wake up, I decided which ‘face’ I am going to wear.  Some days when I am at home, it’s the face of a daughter. Other days, a youth leader.  The next, a friend.  Still others, it’s a sister, cousin, auntie and… a STUDENT?

My first week back as a Student came with a whole array of mixed emotions and feelings.  As my younger brother was getting excited for returning to school, I wore the face of a sister, ‘calm and collective’ and ‘been there, done that’.  Yet inside, returning to school as a student had me more terrified that traveling abroad with a group of strangers, for 11 months.  

As my Language and Culture prof so boldly stated, in response to my choice of adjectives used to describe myself, I am a “walking oxymoron”.  (I did use the words “traveler” and “introvert” to describe myself).  On one hand, deep down, I was (am) excited to be back in the class room as a student, being taught by one older and, presumably, smarter than myself.  A year of ‘practical’ life knowledge has been filled (thank you 24/7 community living World Race style), and I soon realized the desire within, to continue my book knowledge.  I have discovered the practicality, and simple need in the world, for those who crave the English Language.  I had experienced this, not ONCE on the race but time and time again.  

It doesn’t matter if one is Canadian, American, Eastern European, (East) Indian, Asian or African.

It is universal.

This knowledge, brought me back to the classroom.  Back to classes, syllabi’s, assignments, exams, professors and *gah* meeting new people…back to wearing the face of a student.  As I wandered around campus this past week, I must have had on the look of ‘a lost puppy’ time and time again as I tried to figure out where the LT was and which classroom I was supposed to be in when.  As I stumbled around my new apartment building style of living, I did not realize that the person who was in the kitchen with me, is also in ALL my TESOL classes…yep the face of a freshman.   

  

I thought to myself…isn’t this sort of how we walk through life? Always putting on a ‘face’ (or, better yet, a ‘mask’) of who we truly are?  Never really letting people get truly close to us, in fear of them leaving (or judging) us?

I know I am guilty of this. 

So this September, yes I WILL be putting on the face of a student…for the simple reason that, by definition, I AM A STUDENT in a post-secondary setting.  I have professors who DO know more than me and I am going to take this opportunity to allow their book knowledge (and personal experiences) to soak within my brain, heart and soul.  In turn, I will try to use that, to teach those around me…whether through day to day interactions, or future ministry.

More so, I am going to try and prevent the ‘fear’ within me, of putting on a ‘mask’ around fellow classmates and students.  I want them to see me, to ‘know me’ as me.  True, somedays will be easier than others, yet already, God has proven Himself faithful and GOOD through the people I in which I have already met and am starting to get to know.  In turn, I am going to do my best to see them for who THEY are.

Within the last few years of my life, God has put some (a lot of) incredible people in my life.  From friends that I grew up with, to college (round one) and, most recently, the World Race.  Each of those separate steps, was a part of the journey in who I am today when I walk down the halls at Providence.  It’s their faces, voices, prayers and memories that I am carrying with me to help me through.

So here is too a year of only a few ‘faces’.  A year of change, growth and being a student!!