I am a sea of ever changing faces.
From day to day, every morning when I wake up, I decided
which ‘face’ I am going to wear. Some
days when I am at home, it’s the face of a daughter. Other days, a youth
leader. The next, a friend. Still others, it’s a sister, cousin, auntie
and… a STUDENT?
My first week back as a Student
came with a whole array of mixed emotions and feelings. As my younger brother was getting excited for
returning to school, I wore the face of a sister, ‘calm and collective’ and ‘been
there, done that’. Yet inside, returning
to school as a student had me more
terrified that traveling abroad with a group of strangers, for 11 months.
As my Language and Culture prof so boldly stated, in
response to my choice of adjectives used to describe myself, I am a “walking
oxymoron”. (I did use the words “traveler”
and “introvert” to describe myself). On
one hand, deep down, I was (am) excited to be back in the class room as a student, being taught by one older and, presumably,
smarter than myself. A year of ‘practical’
life knowledge has been filled (thank you 24/7 community living World Race
style), and I soon realized the desire within, to continue my book knowledge. I have discovered the practicality, and
simple need in the world, for those who crave the English Language. I had experienced this, not ONCE on the race
but time and time again.
It doesn’t matter if one is Canadian, American, Eastern
European, (East) Indian, Asian or African.
It is universal.
This knowledge, brought me back to the classroom. Back to classes, syllabi’s, assignments,
exams, professors and *gah* meeting new people…back to wearing the face of a
student. As I wandered around campus
this past week, I must have had on the look of ‘a lost puppy’ time and time
again as I tried to figure out where the LT was and which classroom I was
supposed to be in when. As I stumbled
around my new apartment building style of living, I did not realize that the
person who was in the kitchen with me, is also in ALL my TESOL classes…yep the
face of a freshman.
I thought to myself…isn’t this sort of how we walk through
life? Always putting on a ‘face’ (or, better yet, a ‘mask’) of who we truly
are? Never really letting people get
truly close to us, in fear of them leaving (or judging) us?
I know I am guilty of this.
So this September, yes I WILL be putting on the face of a
student…for the simple reason that, by definition, I AM A STUDENT in a post-secondary
setting. I have professors who DO know
more than me and I am going to take this opportunity to allow their book knowledge
(and personal experiences) to soak within my brain, heart and soul. In turn, I will try to use that, to teach
those around me…whether through day to day interactions, or future ministry.
More so, I am going to try and prevent the ‘fear’ within me,
of putting on a ‘mask’ around fellow classmates and students. I want them to see me, to ‘know me’ as
me. True, somedays will be easier than
others, yet already, God has proven Himself faithful and GOOD through the
people I in which I have already met and am starting to get to know. In turn, I am going to do my best to see them for who THEY are.
Within the last few years of my life, God has put some (a
lot of) incredible people in my life.
From friends that I grew up with, to college (round one) and, most
recently, the World Race. Each of those separate
steps, was a part of the journey in who I am today when I walk down the halls
at Providence. It’s their faces, voices,
prayers and memories that I am carrying with me to help me through.
So here is too a year of only a few ‘faces’. A year of change, growth and being a student!!
