Destination: Unknown

Today officially marked my last day of classes for, hopefully, my university/college life. 

*Insert Reality check side note; I believe I ‘penned’ those words 5 years ago after I had finished walking across the stage to receive my B.A. from SBC…little did I know at the time that God had different plans for me down the road…” 

Although I should be studying for my Monday night exam, along with finishing up my last lesson plan for my Applied Linguistics 2 class (hey I am still technically a college student and we do love to procrastinate!  Cathy, if you are reading this, I PROMISE I will have it done and handed in by the time it is due!), there are moments when one just simply has to blog!  This is one of those moments.

What I see now, that I did not see 5 years ago, was just how perfect God’s timing truly is.  How He really looks after every single small detail of our lives and gives us what we desire deep down.  Since walking across that SBC stage grad weekend in April 2010, God has allowed me incredible adventures locally and around this world.  He continues to put (and He keeps) amazing people in my life to challenge, encourage and support me in whatever I do.

As I reflect back on this year (once again, thank you Cathy and Frieda for ‘drilling’ the importance of reflections into me this school year through TESOL assignments), I realize God’s intimate handiwork involved in every step of the way.  Coming off the Race; God knew schooling would be ‘too much’ and ‘too intensive’ for me during a month long TESOL course in the summer.  He even went as far as legitimately canceling summer TESOL (sorry to my TESOL classmates who signed up to take it this past summer! I am totally convinced it was God ‘canceling it’ because of me!).  He did this however, to allow me to simply rest in Him and His Goodness and to spend time reflecting and being ‘poured into’ in a way that I craved it. 

Coming to Providence, I will admit that I was terrified! Hopping on a plane with 45 strangers to travel the globe for missions for a year? Not a problem! Go to university an hour away from home??!?! Sheer PANIC!!! Write papers, essays, mid-terms, exams, assignments AND MEET NEW PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN!?!? HECK NO! 

(Have I ever mentioned that God loves to teach me about things; through His humour?!?! Cause He does!)

Needless to say, I arrived and have survived my time at Providence!! Not only have I survived and have made some pretty incredible friends once again, but I have really loved it and am going to miss it! Oh and yes, I have also learned more than I could have imagined with TESOL teaching (and English in general).  A HUGE thank you Cathy and Frieda for equipping me to become an ESL teacher and for teaching me basic English that my high school English teachers failed to do.

I am excited.  I am excited to get back on a plane that will take me back to a place that ‘stole’ my heart over 4 years ago.  I am excited that God has provided an education for me, to be able to go and teach English to those who need it.  My prayer is that that lives of those students that God will be (has already) placed in my path, will be blessed because of it.  That through simply learning a language, their lives will be changed.  Cycles of repeated abuse and poverty will be broken and chains will come undone. 

Indeed. Language IS powerful.

However, Greater (and more powerful) still, is ONE whose death and resurrection we celebrated this past Easter weekend.  It is He who has, and will continue to, lead.  It is His voice and His love that will direct my life and my heart.

The thing about international missions, is that no matter how many times one ‘goes out’, there are still questions, doubts and fears mixed in with excitement, anticipation and joy. 

Perhaps that is another blog, for another day.

Until then, SHINE.  Shine a light right where you are now.  Whether it’s at home, school, or work; God has called you to be where you are, for a reason.  Don’t wait to ‘go’ when He has already placed people right here, right now who need the love He offers.

Are you up to the call?

Village Kids
Zambia Africa 2011

A Sea of Faces

I am a sea of ever changing faces. 

From day to day, every morning when I wake up, I decided which ‘face’ I am going to wear.  Some days when I am at home, it’s the face of a daughter. Other days, a youth leader.  The next, a friend.  Still others, it’s a sister, cousin, auntie and… a STUDENT?

My first week back as a Student came with a whole array of mixed emotions and feelings.  As my younger brother was getting excited for returning to school, I wore the face of a sister, ‘calm and collective’ and ‘been there, done that’.  Yet inside, returning to school as a student had me more terrified that traveling abroad with a group of strangers, for 11 months.  

As my Language and Culture prof so boldly stated, in response to my choice of adjectives used to describe myself, I am a “walking oxymoron”.  (I did use the words “traveler” and “introvert” to describe myself).  On one hand, deep down, I was (am) excited to be back in the class room as a student, being taught by one older and, presumably, smarter than myself.  A year of ‘practical’ life knowledge has been filled (thank you 24/7 community living World Race style), and I soon realized the desire within, to continue my book knowledge.  I have discovered the practicality, and simple need in the world, for those who crave the English Language.  I had experienced this, not ONCE on the race but time and time again.  

It doesn’t matter if one is Canadian, American, Eastern European, (East) Indian, Asian or African.

It is universal.

This knowledge, brought me back to the classroom.  Back to classes, syllabi’s, assignments, exams, professors and *gah* meeting new people…back to wearing the face of a student.  As I wandered around campus this past week, I must have had on the look of ‘a lost puppy’ time and time again as I tried to figure out where the LT was and which classroom I was supposed to be in when.  As I stumbled around my new apartment building style of living, I did not realize that the person who was in the kitchen with me, is also in ALL my TESOL classes…yep the face of a freshman.   

  

I thought to myself…isn’t this sort of how we walk through life? Always putting on a ‘face’ (or, better yet, a ‘mask’) of who we truly are?  Never really letting people get truly close to us, in fear of them leaving (or judging) us?

I know I am guilty of this. 

So this September, yes I WILL be putting on the face of a student…for the simple reason that, by definition, I AM A STUDENT in a post-secondary setting.  I have professors who DO know more than me and I am going to take this opportunity to allow their book knowledge (and personal experiences) to soak within my brain, heart and soul.  In turn, I will try to use that, to teach those around me…whether through day to day interactions, or future ministry.

More so, I am going to try and prevent the ‘fear’ within me, of putting on a ‘mask’ around fellow classmates and students.  I want them to see me, to ‘know me’ as me.  True, somedays will be easier than others, yet already, God has proven Himself faithful and GOOD through the people I in which I have already met and am starting to get to know.  In turn, I am going to do my best to see them for who THEY are.

Within the last few years of my life, God has put some (a lot of) incredible people in my life.  From friends that I grew up with, to college (round one) and, most recently, the World Race.  Each of those separate steps, was a part of the journey in who I am today when I walk down the halls at Providence.  It’s their faces, voices, prayers and memories that I am carrying with me to help me through.

So here is too a year of only a few ‘faces’.  A year of change, growth and being a student!!