Destination: Unknown

Today officially marked my last day of classes for, hopefully, my university/college life. 

*Insert Reality check side note; I believe I ‘penned’ those words 5 years ago after I had finished walking across the stage to receive my B.A. from SBC…little did I know at the time that God had different plans for me down the road…” 

Although I should be studying for my Monday night exam, along with finishing up my last lesson plan for my Applied Linguistics 2 class (hey I am still technically a college student and we do love to procrastinate!  Cathy, if you are reading this, I PROMISE I will have it done and handed in by the time it is due!), there are moments when one just simply has to blog!  This is one of those moments.

What I see now, that I did not see 5 years ago, was just how perfect God’s timing truly is.  How He really looks after every single small detail of our lives and gives us what we desire deep down.  Since walking across that SBC stage grad weekend in April 2010, God has allowed me incredible adventures locally and around this world.  He continues to put (and He keeps) amazing people in my life to challenge, encourage and support me in whatever I do.

As I reflect back on this year (once again, thank you Cathy and Frieda for ‘drilling’ the importance of reflections into me this school year through TESOL assignments), I realize God’s intimate handiwork involved in every step of the way.  Coming off the Race; God knew schooling would be ‘too much’ and ‘too intensive’ for me during a month long TESOL course in the summer.  He even went as far as legitimately canceling summer TESOL (sorry to my TESOL classmates who signed up to take it this past summer! I am totally convinced it was God ‘canceling it’ because of me!).  He did this however, to allow me to simply rest in Him and His Goodness and to spend time reflecting and being ‘poured into’ in a way that I craved it. 

Coming to Providence, I will admit that I was terrified! Hopping on a plane with 45 strangers to travel the globe for missions for a year? Not a problem! Go to university an hour away from home??!?! Sheer PANIC!!! Write papers, essays, mid-terms, exams, assignments AND MEET NEW PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN!?!? HECK NO! 

(Have I ever mentioned that God loves to teach me about things; through His humour?!?! Cause He does!)

Needless to say, I arrived and have survived my time at Providence!! Not only have I survived and have made some pretty incredible friends once again, but I have really loved it and am going to miss it! Oh and yes, I have also learned more than I could have imagined with TESOL teaching (and English in general).  A HUGE thank you Cathy and Frieda for equipping me to become an ESL teacher and for teaching me basic English that my high school English teachers failed to do.

I am excited.  I am excited to get back on a plane that will take me back to a place that ‘stole’ my heart over 4 years ago.  I am excited that God has provided an education for me, to be able to go and teach English to those who need it.  My prayer is that that lives of those students that God will be (has already) placed in my path, will be blessed because of it.  That through simply learning a language, their lives will be changed.  Cycles of repeated abuse and poverty will be broken and chains will come undone. 

Indeed. Language IS powerful.

However, Greater (and more powerful) still, is ONE whose death and resurrection we celebrated this past Easter weekend.  It is He who has, and will continue to, lead.  It is His voice and His love that will direct my life and my heart.

The thing about international missions, is that no matter how many times one ‘goes out’, there are still questions, doubts and fears mixed in with excitement, anticipation and joy. 

Perhaps that is another blog, for another day.

Until then, SHINE.  Shine a light right where you are now.  Whether it’s at home, school, or work; God has called you to be where you are, for a reason.  Don’t wait to ‘go’ when He has already placed people right here, right now who need the love He offers.

Are you up to the call?

Village Kids
Zambia Africa 2011

African Calling

As I sit in my room here at college, I find my heart wandering to the people and places whose photos fill the otherwise bare walls.  Moments that captured my breath away as I reflect on things like flying around Mount Everest, watching sunsets on the shores of beautiful Thai beaches or that sense of ‘being home’ that unexpectedly went through my body as my feet once again, took their first step back on the red African Soil.  

Greater still, my heart is drawn to the faces of those in the photos.  People who have, and continue to, inspire my own life simply by living theirs.  From photos of my parents and I at my last college grad, to the birth announcement welcoming my, now 7 month old, nephew into the world.  From friends that I have grown up with, to those I met in college and who have walked with me since, regardless of where they are in the world.  A group photo of friends I went to visit in St. Louis 2 years ago, two of whom I literally traveled the world with together, remind me of a friendship bond that is not easily broken.  R squad on the World Race at the start of our month three in Romania, surrounded by faces of kids that I met while on the race itself, along with a photo of myself and two of my best buds during our evening of bar ministry Christmas Eve 2013 in Thailand.

I find my eyes looking at the photo next to it.  In it, is a group of local girls.  In the span of 6 months, they have totally changed my life.  Who are they? If you look past the silly glasses and dollar store props, you will see.  You will see that they are my Sr. Youth small group.  This is the group who I get the honour (and joy) of seeing every week during youth nights and sometimes, on the weekends for coffee.  As they’ve opened up and have shared with me, God has done something in my heart in the last 6 months that I never thought possible.  Instead of praying “God break my heart for what breaks yours when I travel overseas”, I find myself daily praying, “Thank you Lord, for ‘breaking my heart’ in the here and now. Thank you for allowing my eyes to be opened in which they (my eyes) have been closed to for so very long. May they see YOU and not me and may they see YOUR Truth and experience YOUR Freedom”.    

Finally, my eyes rest on a photo of me next to a young girl.  The smiles on our faces, speak to the amount of joy I felt (and still feel) within my heart when that photo was taken nearly 3 years ago.    It was at the end of my first mission’s trip to Seeds of Hope Children’s Ministry in Zambia, Africa.  It was my first trip to Grace Academy and I knew as soon as I arrived there, that it would not be my last and that this was only the start of an incredible chapter that God was writing within my life.  Words seem to escape me, as my heart BEAMS with excitement and anticipation as I am trying to properly figure out how to best describe the journey that God has laid before me.  It is a journey I thought would never happen and it came in a point in my life that cannot be described as anything but God’s GOOD and PERFECT timing.  That, when scripture talks about Him knowing our hearts and desires, He truly does.  He truly answers them and provides beyond our (my) expectations each and every time.

God is calling me back to Seeds of Hope Children’s Ministry, a Canadian organization based out of British Colombia.  They run two children homes for HIV/AID affected/infected children (orphans), one in Thailand and one in Zambia, Africa.  It is the one in Zambia that captured my heart in 2011 and opened up a world of possibilities before me.

This May, I will be returning to these children and young teens in Zambia, Africa for three months.  I have said “yes” to a temporary teaching position that allows me (by the Grace of God) to also complete a much needed, international practicum for my TESOL (Teaching English as a Second Language) B.A at Providence University College. Along with teaching 15 hours of English a week, I will also be teaching 10 hours of Computer skills to the older students.  Through teaching English and computer skills, my hope (and prayer) is that I am able to help ‘equip’ these young people for a better chance at getting into and excelling at, post-secondary education.  Like many developing countries, being born with HIV or losing both parents to death in Africa, is a ‘death sentence’.  Seeds of Hope Children’s Ministry has given/continues to give the children they take in, a fighting chance in this world, through providing basic health needs, a safe place to live, medical treatment and a North American education.  I am honoured to join in the amazing work that God is doing through them, in Zambia.

Join with me?

(continue to watch/follow this blog as I will be updating ways in which you can help donate financially-since what I am doing is all support raised (tax charitable), and through your prayers.  I need your help and I know I cannot do this alone).

Cambodia

(* I was not originally going to post this, as I wrote it for a scrapbook that my mom has been putting together for me, of my entire 11 months on the World Race, but I have realized that, in writing this for her...it has served as a good 'tool' for me to continue to 'process' my experience.  I would like to share it with you as well, because sometimes feelings and emotions are easier to explain through words like these*)

Cambodia.  Prior to coming to small South East Asian country, all I knew of it, was the story of a Cambodian that I had to read for a class while at Steinbach Bible College.  The author shared his story of witnessing his family being murdered right before his eyes, before he too, was hacked at by machetes and fell atop of his slain mother and siblings.  This was a time in Cambodian history, where The Khmer Rouge was following orders under their leader, Pol Pot.  At the time of reading this account, “The Khmer Rouge”, “Pol Pot” and “Cambodia” seemed like a far off land.  A land that I would never personally experience within my life time, let alone walk on the grounds of where a complete generation was annihilated simply for having an education.  Not only was I able to spend one month here, but 2 months there as part of the World Race experience  

It was during my time IN Cambodia that God began to really direct me to His calling for my life.  January 2014, I spent teaching English at a rural (private) Christian YWAM base school.  My team and I also spent a few hours a week teaching at a local public school.  We taught the children their 123’s, ABC’s and grammar structure (for the older grades) and we spent hours going over the pronunciation of sounds while repeating rules to them time and time again.  Our rural classrooms were made of bamboo, surrounded by palm trees and rice fields.  The public school was just off a ‘major’ road and they used the grounds of an old Hindu temple, for their school grounds.  During our time teaching the private school kids, we shared Jesus with them through songs, skits and games all in English.

The following month (February) my team and I were re-located to Phenom Phen, the capital city of Cambodia.  This city, was also were the heart of the Khmer Rouge Regime, took place.  Our ‘mission’ for the month was to help kick-start an after school English program for the female and male dorm students.  These students where under the care of a married couple and a sister, who had chosen to give up their life in Northern India, to become missionaries in Cambodia.  It was easy to see their vision and heart were they were.  It was simple quite simple really.  Mentor and disciple the students under their care, while providing access to English lessons to help the students in their own university studies to become bankers, doctors and lawyers. 

While in PP in particular, God really began to speak to my heart specifically with furthering my own education to become an ESL teacher.  Through ‘teaching’, and talking with these students, I began to see (and realize) their push to learn English as a second language.  Their replies were simple, “Teacher, I want to help my family.  I want to help build back my country”. Something so basic as a language, yet powerful enough to convict a generation thus enabling them to change a Nation, was a new ‘revelation’ for me.  I found myself thinking, “I could be a part of this change’, on a daily basis.  God further opened my eyes beyond my English classroom in PP, into a world of culture, custom and the Khmer language itself found on the streets and in the markets.

I did not ‘go into the race’ expecting to ‘come out’ of it with such a direct, personal, career choice.  Instead, my prayers were that, through daily interactions with the people God was to place in my path, that He would lead me and give me a possible direction.  Beyond that, God broke my heart for a part of the world, I never even had any desire to even visit.  He used the young people from the nation of Cambodia, to speak this Truth into my heart and life.  He used missionaries consisting of both local Cambodians, North Americans and especially, the individual stories (and later, combined story) the married couple, to convict me and to truly break my heart in a brand new way.

Teaching English for those two months in Cambodia, changed my life in a way I do not think I will ever fully be able to understand.  It’s a Nation of people that have found its way into a special part of my heart, a part that I thought only the children of Zambia, would ever hold.  Yet, the letters of two simple, blue bolded words, remind me of a different Truth.  A Truth that rung true to me to me that day, and words that have stuck with me since.  BEAUTIFUL FEET.  BEAUTIFUL FEET, a calling upon my life to live different. TO push the boundaries of society’s ‘norms’.  To live, to laugh, to teach, to LOVE.

Truth be told, I do not know if I will end up back in Cambodia for the rest of my life.  I wish I could give a 'for sure' answer, but I cannot.  What I do know is that, God is currently shaping and molding me right here and now, to BE a better teacher regardless of where I end up teaching.  One thing is clear, I am a teacher.  Not only a TESOL 'in training' teacher, but a teacher of life and ultimately, of God's Truth in this world. 

Regardless of where I am in this world, that will not change.

Some of my 'Students' in PP.