Interview

In 45 minutes-I have an interview via skype phone for plans for next year.  But wait, I should back up a bit-Tuesday night I was finally able to 'muster up' the courage to hit the 'submit' button on my application and well, the next step is now an interview via skype.  Not gonna lie-I hate interviews (ok 'hate' is a strong word) but I thoroughly dislike em! I always get super nervous! (actually, the only interview I think I ever had-was one for work right out of high school--since then, I have been going to back to the same job and all--hmm weird and random!)

But yes, interview coming up shortly-it should be good.  I woke up this morning with a peace about it and had a peace about through the half day of work and until, right about now...which makes sense as its ticking closer and closer! So I gotta distract my mind a bit!

Last night, was pretty awesome again. Yes, it was a youth night.  I was running powerpoint for worship (and failing miserable at it if I may add! :P unplugged the thing like twice! ah well!) but that is not what made it awesome.  What made it awesome-was looking around at the youth-watching them worship-seeing them lift up their hands-knowing a little of where some of them started-and seeing just how far they have come since.  I wonder if they realize how far they have  each come in their walk with You Lord? I wonder if they actually realize how SPECIAL and Beautiful they are in YOUR eyes.  I wonder if they actually realize that when You feel far away and distant, is actually when You are the closest to them? I wonder if they realize that. I wonder...

I pulled one of them aside after-just to pray for this individual  for something they have coming up- and I realized that I dont do that enough.  I dont pull them enough and just pray with them.  I say I am praying for them (and I am) but to actually pray with them, for them, while they are right there....I totally slack at that.  Perhaps-if we actually spent time praying for one another-instead of just "saying' we are, I wonder how many more lives would be change, how many more people (youth and adults alike) see YOU move more? To realize that words can be filled with true meaning and care-instead of the empty words a lot of speak-instead of the empty words that society throws at us.

I want to be genuine. I want to be "raw".  With my youth, with my friends, my peers, co workers and the strangers I meet on the street in passing-whether here at home-or abroad.  I am slowly starting to realize how BIG the mission really is that God calls us to. Despite 24 years of living and 3 intense years of bible college- I feel so young in my faith.

So, in being genuine. In being 'raw'- I was asked what 'took me so long to hit the submit button?' and the answer to that was (and is still) FEAR.  I am terrified of what I think/know what God is calling me to do next.  As I sit here typing this-it is a beautiful day out and life is so good here in southern Manitoba-why would I leave? My job is good, family is going well and I love the ministry I am involved in.  I am a fool to leave it right?

I would argue I am a fool to stay.  Dont get me wrong I know God is using me here and I am so glad and thankful for that-however He does command us to GO , to give it up for Him.  To pick up our crosses for Him.  I am stil learning what that fully means.

In the mean time- I know I am around till Jan. 2013 for sure.  So within that time- I am gonna keep investing into the lives around me-to serve right here at home in anyway I can.  I know it wont be easy, but then again-Christ told us flat out that it would NOT be easy if we follow Him.
He is my rock.
He is my Redeemer.
He is my Love
He is my Shelter.
He is my LORD.