Showing posts with label Prayers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayers. Show all posts

Sunday, June 17, 2012

God is Good.

God is good.  I have to keep reminding myself of that.
I found out yesterday morning-that a friend of mine-her mom's cancer is back.  This time, its in the brain.  She has beaten it once before-when the doctors did not know how long she would be around.  This time too-they are not sure how long she has. 

So I ask you-pray.  Pray for her.  Pray for her family.  Later this year, she will become a grandma too, for the first time, and a mother in law once again (a mother in law to a super good friend of mine from college I might add) so there is a lot of fun, joy and excitement to look forward to in the near future.

Cancer sucks.  I hate it.  Hate is a strong word-but in this case-it is not strong enough.  If I could wipe out Cancer-I would-in a heart beat.  It has stolen to many people from me already, robbed to many good, young people from a full life.

I know we are not suppose to ask why-but why?

God is good.  I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

On My knees again...

Life has been busy lately-not that I am complaining- I am just stating a fact.  I re-realized that I still need my "down time" just to 're charge' and process different things going on.  This isnt a bad thing-it is something I have come to learn about myself. 

These last few weeks have also been "one of those weeks" where God kind of "knocks you over the heads" and says "follow Me, give Your burdens and worries to me, I AM the Good Shepard".  Let me explain. 

I was reminded over this last while-just how fragile life is.  How much I take it forgranted (perhaps that also explains my need to "be busy every night etc" and not let life be wasted).  Two main factors have contributed to this recently.

1) A high school friend of mine lost her sister in an unexpected freak accident when a car rammed into her work place.  She was 28 and had a 4 year old and engaged.

2) In a span of 2 hours-my aunt went from having FULL mobility and being totally healthy-to being completely paralyzed from neck down.  It has been 16 days since it has happened.  Yes the doctors have been able to rule out a stroke and MS (which they initally thought it was) and my aunt has made baby steps improvements since (her speech is back to how it was, gaining control of her right arm and is starting to get feeling back in her one leg, she was able to go outside and get some fresh air via a special wheel chair the other day (first time in 2 weeks) and her spirits are still good).  However, these are just that-Baby steps in a long road to recovery.  Right now, she is in a 'holding pattern' in the winnipeg hospital as the docs dont know what happened or what to do next (they have tried different treatments/tests but nothing has helped in that sense) and so my uncle and cousins are looking via the States for other options. 

I have not actually seen my aunt since she has been admitted-but I have not stopped praying for her.  She told my mom the other day that it is through prayer and support alone is how she (and family) are gettign through this.  I was asked the other day by a co worker how she was doing and right then and there, its like reality kicked in and I could have totally broken down right there at work.  It just 'hit' me.  Simple things-like lifting a spoon, feeding ones self, typing on a key board, walking...are all things that my aunt cant do-daily things I do every day with out realizing that "just like that' they could be taking away from me. I am tearing up just now thinking about it and realizing how selfish I am.

So where IS GOD in all of this?  I just finished reading the story in John where Christ RAISES Lazurus from the DEAD....just like that-so those around Him might believe.  Yet here I sit, questioning God why this happened to my aunt, why she isnt healed from the thousands of prayers being sent up for her.  Why this brokenness and hurt and suffering?   God-where are you?


Then I remember-He is right next to me...right next to my aunt and is carrying her through.  Yes the questions still remain.  However, there is also a peace in my heart-know just how GREAT our God is.  HOw much HE loves her and me (and you).  HE is the great Physician and Healer-not the doctors or pain meds.  So I get back down on my knees-the best and strongest place to be when I feel weak-for I know it is there-that God will meet me-He will hear my prayers and lift me up. He will carry me

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

One of "those days'

Today was one of those days:

Where nothing goes right

Where controlling your tongue is super hard

Where you feel like smacking a few people on their heads

Where you realize just how pathetic the world has become

Where you have to remind yourself that politics are just that...politics and nothing more

Where you wished you never got out of bed this morning

Where  you wonder "is anything ever going to change?"

Where you realized, the drama you left behind in high school-is back-only in 'adult form'

Where you thought "adults' knew better

where you just wanna throw up your hands and quit


Where I realize just how badly I need God

Where I am thankful for another day and the ability to get up and Go to work

Where I see God's Amazing Grace shine through the morning sunrise

Where I can not do anything, but stand back in awe of my Lord

Where, instead of angry words, there is a prayer off my lips instead

Where I remember that I am "fearfully and Wonderfully made"

Where I recall how Christ died, so that I may live

Where I remember God's Crazy awesome, powerful Love is all I ever need

Where I think of what a fool I am to have ever doubted God

Where I know, that come tomorrow-life will happen and all the bad may happen again...
...but for now...I remember God's Love and how I am created in HIS image, made by Him and FOR Him for HIS good works.

Thank you God for today.  Thank you for closing my mouth when it needed to be close.  For opening it up in a prayer.  Lead me God-walk before me now, tomorrow and each day of my life!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Is God just?

On the eve of my 23rd birthday...ok on the night before my 23rd bday, along with 3 weeks till take off for Africa, I must ask myself-Is Our God, a just God? how can a God who is loving, compassionate, knows every single hair on our heads at any moment, creator of heaven and Earth, split the red sea for the israelites to cross, sent His ONLY son to die for me and you...still...is He just? The Lord of Earth and Heaven, creator of all things? Would our God, who is all those things and so much more...allow an 8 year old girl to be scarred the way she is? Both physicall and emotionally/meantally (i assume as well) for the rest of her life?

 Does He love us so?

Yes, tho some days its hard to believe,  I believe God is just and when it says he will hand out punishments in His due time, I have no choice but to believe Him.I mean after all, He knew us even before we exsisted in our mothers wombs...

 But how do you explain that to the 8 year old? How does one show God's love to her? words? actions? nothing at all?

what do I do whenI see her face to face, hold her, talk with her? Do I tell her things will be alright? that God loves her regardless of what happend? How will she respond? Laugh at me? Laugh at God? cry? smile? Will she look at me and say something that is way beyond her years? words that can and will only be spoken by Our God, through a small child?




Lots going on in my head right now..in regards to this....Am I ready for africa? to meet this girl? here her story and many others? to see the  physical pain? No...I never could be ready...but by the grace of God alone..I will be, I have to be.  HE will carry me through just like He led that girl to be saved.

with under 2 hours left before another number gets added to my age..hwo will these thoughts and questions..change my 23 rd year of my life? How will they shape it? How will God use this girl to mold me? What will happen in my 23rd year of life?

perhaps I should just stop asking God these questions and just trust him (after all, He did create the world in 7 days and saw that it was good, until we messed it up-another story for another time). Perhaps I should just hold loved ones a little tighter...to rejoice and send the praise back to where its due-back to God.

"God, thank you so much for life and although I do not understand it sometimes, I can not do anything but trust you wilth it.  You know me.  You know my heart, the good the bad and everything in between.  You know me inside and out.  Shape me, mold me into a better image of you. Use me God, to be a light for you on to this world.  Go before me. Set my path. Open my eyes to the peopel who I will meet in Zambia...both while there and even on the planes.  Bless them, through me.  Break my heart for what breaks yours.  BE that point of indifference.  Help me to remember that really, all I have is YOU and that is enough.  Thank you for loving me the way you do, even tho i dont deserve it. Thank you for your Grace!!"

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Prayer

So, this is more of a prayer request than anything.  Wondering if you could just pray for me.  I was loooking at all the things I have to do now and all and dare I say, I could see myself stressing out?  Which is wierd cause I usually dont stress out...

Not only that, but pray that I learn to give God control.  I love hanging otu with people, with talking with them, connecting with them and having a blast, but people are "messy' we all have different backgrounds and pasts.  A few people have mentioned things to me about their pasts/issues etc and I am the type of person who takes it on myself...which I know I cant do cause I need to give it to God....pray I can do that

Pray for wisdom and guidence as well, words of wisdom and understanding and connecting times as well
God is good, all the time God is good

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Whirlwind ride

Wow what a ride it has been these last two weeks. THere should be warning labels or something when one accepts CHrist..actaully no cause that would scare people off-or make them think again. Does that make sense?
I was recently asked by a friend that, if its ok to feel scared? Scared about what? About anything, about what the future holds, about the past, present, certain situations.
These last two weeks at school have been quite a ride. Homework wise it has not been bad, at least not yet (and am surprised not that far behind considering it has felt like I have done nothing) but mentally its been quite exhausting. One thing that I am learning lots and lots is the importance of friends and honesty and lifting each other through the tough times. I am realzing that when it comes to friends, if they are in pain or struggling or something, I have to be able to do something, I CAN NOT sit back and not do anything-its just not me and I am getting a crash course on it.

Today I spent over an hour out on the farm just talking, and a little shouting, to God. So many questions and thoughts and all-it was good, I think for Both of us. We dont always see eye to eye (which is good) so to be able to be outside in the cool, away from people, gave me a time to think, reflect, pray and cry. Try it I recommend it-it helps

We are all getting a crash course on learning what it means to be a unifed body of Believers. God calls us to bear one another burdens yes some days it might be tough, and hard, But God is ulitmatley in control, we need to Lift up our Burdens together to Him and Let Him Carry us through the Pain.
On that note, Pray for me as I walk along side people and their hurt. PRay for the students as we cope with diffeerent stresses that come before us. Pray for the profs and facutly who are there to help us through. Pray for the community at SBC, that we learn to grow and trust each other
GOd is good, even through the bad

Saturday, September 27, 2008

So Many thoughts

Wow-what an intense week.
School is going great. Classes are good-hard in some ways-stretching and challenging the way I am thinking in some areas-which is good-its making me aware. THis last weekend was Red Rock and like last year it was lots of fun, great memories and at the same time, heart breaking and unity and kionionia-unity. One thing that i think most people think of when they think "bible college" students, is not how perfect their lives are, but since it is a bible school, it must be shelter and life must be pretty good (I mean come on, if you are at a bible school it must be), but I learnt/realized this past week that it is anything but that. Sometimes being in Bible school is tougher then universtity for that reason-people think life is good, when it could be quite the opposite. Does that make sense?
I came into this year challenge by a friend to yes focus on school work (the acedemic part of it), but to reach out to friends (first years in particular) and to focus on relationships. So that is what I have been doing. It was been totally rewarding thus far and I will continue to do it. That said, it is a lot to handle mentally and all. So for those who read-pray for me.
Another thing is balance-where does that balance come in with new friends, old friends, home, acedemics etc etc. I am also realizing that it is a lot hard this year and I think it has to do in part with being open and sharing right off the hop with friends. Its draining it really is. SO prayer for that as well, for balance.
Oh this thing called life is an interesting ride...I am sure everyone can relate to some extent. I guess this is where Giving it all to God comes in...
yah its been a great week,hard week, rewarding week. God is making me grow, He is stretching me in ways which I never knew I could be stretched, but I thank Him for that.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

At Camp

So yah I am at camp-Going on day 3.5ish (sunday didnt really count!) But this will be short as I dont have a lot of time. But yah it was brand new when I got here and my gut was like" ok take me home mom and dad!" Very overwhelmed at first, but happy to say that that feeling is gone. campers are great. I have a cabin of 10 girls, ages 12-14 and so far its pretty good. Major prayer request is for wisdom with the questions. Really hard and really tough, God is totally taking it though. he is working and Moving! Its awesome!
Prayer request: health=some sickness going around between leaders and campers
saftey= the other day we had pea size hail, however, 2 miles south (no joke) and about 10 minutes away, two tornados touched down, some damage, butwe are totally safe and good! Praise God!
team Unity-hard to step in when everyone knows everyone! Pray for me as I adjust still and get to know other leaders.
Pray for a ride home once I am done (little nervous bout that) but I am giving it to God! Pray he provides 9which I know he will)
FUN! that thecamperswill enjoy themeselves!
Thats it from here!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Where did the warm weather go?

Where did the warm weather that we were having go? Its not that bad i guesss, but the wind is stronger and cool and not fun! Warm weather come back! Other then that, school is still going good. Lectures this week are on Marriage so its interrresting take and all. Food is still reall y good, and people are good and all. So now, travel weekend'and after, what to do. We jumped from olso, to dublin to spaain to i have no idea what we are doing now for travel weekend. Please pray as i still want to go out and see and do something. As for after school, thinking of heading down to rome with a friend f or a few days, but its sooooooooooo expensive and the flights are at dumb times and all so not sure what to do with that. For that as well, please pray that it all works out! thanks so much. So yah just a short update but letting u know I am still alive and doing good!
cherish life:D

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Post 99!



Well, here it is, Post 99 and it will be my last one from Canada for a while! Not that that matters, but still its kind of cool! Post 100 will hopefully come from Germany area! How sweet is that!
Anyways, I had a little thing called a Birthday this past sunday. It was good. Church in the morning (good Message btw Nathan), and then the afternoon was more packing/prep etc. Then in the evening well for supper was a gathering at my aunts place. It was good to see everyone again, especially the ones I hadnt seen for a while. At one point, with a baby in my arms, I just sat back and enjoyed the moment around me. Yes everything from the latest "gossip"/chatting from my mom and her sisters, to the guys playing cards, to the pool game going on to the baby's playing on the floor. Yes, I am truely blessed to not only have great friends, but an amazingly wonderful family behind me. So thanks so much to you all as well! I know not all familys are like that, yet it is amazing how quickly we take it forgranted and forget. All in all it was a great evening celebrating birthdays, fellowship, food, fun, and making lots of memories!

So that was sunday, yesterday I babysat one last time, had my final small group too so that is done now. Today I have been running around, saying last few good byes, and getting final things in order. Do I really have time to update my blog, no not really cuase my suitcase is just sitting there half paccked and all but hey, its not even 2:00 yet! But i will get on that shortly. How am I doing? Honestly, that remains to be seeing I guess. Part of me is thrilled, I just cant wait!, another part still cant believe it is acutally happening and yet another part wants to curl back up in bed and pretend its not a few days away! So basically mixed feelings. THough I will say I know I would be a nut case if it wasnt for the prayers. So keep em coming! Like ive said, if i start to get nervous about it, I get this calming feeling only GOd can give me-its like hes saying-"I am here, I will never lead nor forsake you daughter, trust me" Ok God, I am trusting you, lead me, you are my light, protect me-you are my fortress, my shield. Love me like you do
So heres to what lies ahead. Thanks again to everyone for everything. Keep me in your prayers!
Oh and dont forget to check back for updates!
CHEERS!