Life has been busy lately-not that I am complaining- I am just stating a fact. I re-realized that I still need my "down time" just to 're charge' and process different things going on. This isnt a bad thing-it is something I have come to learn about myself.
These last few weeks have also been "one of those weeks" where God kind of "knocks you over the heads" and says "follow Me, give Your burdens and worries to me, I AM the Good Shepard". Let me explain.
I was reminded over this last while-just how fragile life is. How much I take it forgranted (perhaps that also explains my need to "be busy every night etc" and not let life be wasted). Two main factors have contributed to this recently.
1) A high school friend of mine lost her sister in an unexpected freak accident when a car rammed into her work place. She was 28 and had a 4 year old and engaged.
2) In a span of 2 hours-my aunt went from having FULL mobility and being totally healthy-to being completely paralyzed from neck down. It has been 16 days since it has happened. Yes the doctors have been able to rule out a stroke and MS (which they initally thought it was) and my aunt has made baby steps improvements since (her speech is back to how it was, gaining control of her right arm and is starting to get feeling back in her one leg, she was able to go outside and get some fresh air via a special wheel chair the other day (first time in 2 weeks) and her spirits are still good). However, these are just that-Baby steps in a long road to recovery. Right now, she is in a 'holding pattern' in the winnipeg hospital as the docs dont know what happened or what to do next (they have tried different treatments/tests but nothing has helped in that sense) and so my uncle and cousins are looking via the States for other options.
I have not actually seen my aunt since she has been admitted-but I have not stopped praying for her. She told my mom the other day that it is through prayer and support alone is how she (and family) are gettign through this. I was asked the other day by a co worker how she was doing and right then and there, its like reality kicked in and I could have totally broken down right there at work. It just 'hit' me. Simple things-like lifting a spoon, feeding ones self, typing on a key board, walking...are all things that my aunt cant do-daily things I do every day with out realizing that "just like that' they could be taking away from me. I am tearing up just now thinking about it and realizing how selfish I am.
So where IS GOD in all of this? I just finished reading the story in John where Christ RAISES Lazurus from the DEAD....just like that-so those around Him might believe. Yet here I sit, questioning God why this happened to my aunt, why she isnt healed from the thousands of prayers being sent up for her. Why this brokenness and hurt and suffering? God-where are you?
Then I remember-He is right next to me...right next to my aunt and is carrying her through. Yes the questions still remain. However, there is also a peace in my heart-know just how GREAT our God is. HOw much HE loves her and me (and you). HE is the great Physician and Healer-not the doctors or pain meds. So I get back down on my knees-the best and strongest place to be when I feel weak-for I know it is there-that God will meet me-He will hear my prayers and lift me up. He will carry me
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