Broken

He has done it again.  God has broken me.  He breaks me over and over.  Yes it is scary-but it is also refreshing and encouraging.  I think I know my answer to my question regarding next year (2013) adventure.  From the people that I have told and the feedback that I have gotten-has been very positive and encouraging. 

So the question I have to ask myself- "whats 'holding me back' from hitting 'submit' on my application papers?"  They are all filled out and to press the button will only take seconds.  Sure I can use the excuse that 'oh I have to check with my references to see if I can use them (which I DO need to do-but its still a cope out).  Or I could say "Im waiting on God, on prayer" which is a great thing and is needed but what if God has already given me the answer and I am just afraid to accept it?  What if God is knocking me over the head and saying "hello Nikki-i can not be more clear with you then I am now-You say you trust Me-you say "I'll stand-my soul Lord to You surrender" .  " You say you Love Me-so Love me and let Me lead you"  I AM the Good Shepard.  I will lead my flock.  This journey will not be easy-in fact-if you follow ME- I can 100% bet you that you WILL be persecuted, mocked and laughed at.  Friends will leave you, family with turn their backs on you and you will face trials and temptations always-BUT TAKE HEART-for I have overcome the World."

Reach out your hand to ME and I swear- I wont let you go.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight." Prov 3:5-6