Is God just?

On the eve of my 23rd birthday...ok on the night before my 23rd bday, along with 3 weeks till take off for Africa, I must ask myself-Is Our God, a just God? how can a God who is loving, compassionate, knows every single hair on our heads at any moment, creator of heaven and Earth, split the red sea for the israelites to cross, sent His ONLY son to die for me and you...still...is He just? The Lord of Earth and Heaven, creator of all things? Would our God, who is all those things and so much more...allow an 8 year old girl to be scarred the way she is? Both physicall and emotionally/meantally (i assume as well) for the rest of her life?

 Does He love us so?

Yes, tho some days its hard to believe,  I believe God is just and when it says he will hand out punishments in His due time, I have no choice but to believe Him.I mean after all, He knew us even before we exsisted in our mothers wombs...

 But how do you explain that to the 8 year old? How does one show God's love to her? words? actions? nothing at all?

what do I do whenI see her face to face, hold her, talk with her? Do I tell her things will be alright? that God loves her regardless of what happend? How will she respond? Laugh at me? Laugh at God? cry? smile? Will she look at me and say something that is way beyond her years? words that can and will only be spoken by Our God, through a small child?




Lots going on in my head right now..in regards to this....Am I ready for africa? to meet this girl? here her story and many others? to see the  physical pain? No...I never could be ready...but by the grace of God alone..I will be, I have to be.  HE will carry me through just like He led that girl to be saved.

with under 2 hours left before another number gets added to my age..hwo will these thoughts and questions..change my 23 rd year of my life? How will they shape it? How will God use this girl to mold me? What will happen in my 23rd year of life?

perhaps I should just stop asking God these questions and just trust him (after all, He did create the world in 7 days and saw that it was good, until we messed it up-another story for another time). Perhaps I should just hold loved ones a little tighter...to rejoice and send the praise back to where its due-back to God.

"God, thank you so much for life and although I do not understand it sometimes, I can not do anything but trust you wilth it.  You know me.  You know my heart, the good the bad and everything in between.  You know me inside and out.  Shape me, mold me into a better image of you. Use me God, to be a light for you on to this world.  Go before me. Set my path. Open my eyes to the peopel who I will meet in Zambia...both while there and even on the planes.  Bless them, through me.  Break my heart for what breaks yours.  BE that point of indifference.  Help me to remember that really, all I have is YOU and that is enough.  Thank you for loving me the way you do, even tho i dont deserve it. Thank you for your Grace!!"