Dear Cambodia (a message from my heart)

Dear Cambodia

You’ve wrecked me.  I left your soil just over 2.5 years ago, yet my heart remains broken for you.  My feet yearns for the day that they will walk upon your land once again.  My eyes cannot wait to look upon the beautiful faces of your people. My soul is restless, begging me to return to you and share with you, the hope in which you have renewed in me.  I’ll be honest- I never thought I would fall in love with you in the way that I have.  Truth be told, at the time I thought you were ‘just another country’ in South East Asia.  A country in which I had to spend time in before returning to the red soils of Africa.

Isn’t that how God works though? Revealing Himself to us in ways we sometimes least expect it?  Ironic isn’t it? That you, Cambodia, were the one country in which I spent 2 months in?

Cambodia, I miss walking among your streets; taking in the many sites and smells.  I miss buying fresh pineapple for 10 cents from local vendors and walking among the rice fields.  As the rain hits the ground outside my home here in Canada, I recall sitting beneath the shadows of palm trees, sipping fresh coconut milk while enjoying the company of the local people.  Oh the lengths I’d go for a roadside smoothies consisting of dragon fruit/pineapple and apples and to taste a deep friend banana for breakfast once again.  Playing hide n seek among a Buddhist temple (opps!) and even hearing off tune karaoke…praying that it would end, now becomes a moment in which I yearn for.  Waking up early, reviewing the English lesson for the morning and then finishing up the day with worship, songs and testimonies from local Khmer university students, renewed my soul in a powerful way.  Time spent with my Phnom Penh Cambodian contacts, turned family, at “Beautiful Feet” dorm, are precious precious moments that I will forever be grateful for.  Words cannot express how they changed the course of my life in 3 short weeks.  To Ango, Asui and Kaka…thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, with everything that I got, thank you so very much.  Your friendship, your mentorship, means the world to me.   

Is this all Ironic? Coincidence? Perhaps a ‘freak thing’ that the one country that I had to spend two months in, is the one country in which I yearn to return to the most?

Or is it a part of God’s continual plan to break my heart for what breaks His? 

Cambodia through you, God began to begin to stir a passion deep within me, not only for a foreign land and its people, but a future career as well. Yes Cambodia, it is because of those two months of teaching English to your people, that God revealed another calling within my life, to me. A calling that came full circle in just over a year, when God led me back to Zambia to teach English.  February 18, 2014 while I was in the middle of my second month teaching English to local Cambodian university students, I journal the line, “I want to use my TESOL to be able to go back to Zambia, and teach at Seeds of Hope.”  May 1, 2015 I found myself back at Seeds of Hope at the start of a 3 month term of teaching English.  So Cambodia, today is April 16, 2016 and I cannot help but wonder at what point I will look back upon this entry and realize that it has once again come ‘full circle’.

James 2:14-19 says, “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”  Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.  You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder."

Cambodia, you are no longer simply a place on the map to check off that I have been too…rather you have become a ‘home away from home’ and one day I will return.  More so, now that I have seen, I know that I am responsible.  I know that my faith also requires action.  I know that it will be a few years yet before I return, but know that God is preparing me during this season of my life to better able to serve HIM among your people and your land.

You have captured my heart, Cambodia, in a very unique way.  You’ve captured my heart in a way that I thought only Zambia would ever hold.  I don’t know when God will lead me back to you, but I am praying and believing that He will…all in His due time.  Until that day; know that I am praying for you.  That God will continue to move through you and your people; to bring darkness into light, bringing about rescue and restoring justice in places of injustice.  Until that day we meet again, I promise I will continue to do all that I can right here and right now, trusting God each and every step of the way.

25 years young

I am into my last 18 hours (ish) of being 24...tomorrow is another day and another birthday for me...the BIG 25 Quarter of century (as my younger, 18 year old brother likes to remind me!).

Wow, 25 years young (cause I refuse to say the word 'old'!) and what a crazy 25 years it has been!  I had a fantastic day in the city yesterday with my mom and what a blessing it was!   Pedicures (yes in -25 degress C weather!), Mongo's for lunch, MEC for WR shopping (got lots done and spent a lot of money!! Is it July yet?!), starbucks and a movie to finish off the day! What a blessing and a joy!! here are just a few pictures from our pedicures off my itouch!

mom and I-love her!

In the movie theater

yes I wore sandals...it was AWESOME!

 For real though, one of the best things about 'mother/daughter days', is the car ride in.  Just being able to simply talk for that hour/hour and a half in and then again back home, is something I hope I will never take for granted!  It is something I know already I will miss TONS when I am racing next year on the WR. 

With my birthday around the corner, and with the race right around the next corner-It doesn't happen that often, but there are days/times when I DO compare myself to those around me..especially friends that I grew up.  Friends who have been married for a few years already, with a kid or two or one on the way.  Friends who are planning their weddings or recently got engaged, or buying a house or 'moving on' with life.  I cannot help but think to myself...'why is that not me?' Am I that far behind on life?' What the HECK am I doing with my life?  Questions like that, that I KNOW God has figured out and knows HIS plan for my life...so  God likes to remind me of the things that I HAVE done in my short life of 25 years...and wow what a list/adventure/ride its been!

As I was talking with my mom last night, I realized that yah maybe I dont have a PHD or masters, or a husband, or kids or things like that...things that people really 'push for' in this area...things that are the 'norm' but thats okay with me (And just for the record, this is NOT a post bashing ANY of those things...I realize that God calls us each to our own walk/path in HIS time..so please understand me on that!)

Yes I do have a 3 year BA 'under my belt' through SBC but what is way more, in the last 7 years of being out of high school...I have had the honour of traveling international not once...but 5 times to 4 different, but equally amazing for their own way, places.  Each trip overseas-whether it was for school in Sweden, or my second time back to Seeds of Hope in Zambia, has helped shaped who I AM today.  You do not need a degree to go and love...you just have to be willing to be God's hands and feet and to be broken for Him.  You need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk on that person, or child that the world deems as 'untouchable' and 'unloveable' because that is where Christ is.  The people that I have met in my travels--will always hold a very special place in my life.  I know God has placed each one of them in my life, when I needed them the most-even though I may not have known it at the time.  I can honestly say I have brothers and sisters in Christ around the world, lifting me up and prayin for me...now THAT is a humbling experience!

To bring it down to more of a 'local level' my three years at SBC challenge/blessed and encouraged me in a way that I never could have dreamed.  That too, GREATLY shaped who I am today through solid biblical teaching done by amazing professors who love Jesus, to older women in dorm who were willing to take a 'chance' on me by investing their time and energy into me, to classmates, roomates and friends--the list goes on


Basically-here is to 24 amazing, hard, challenging, joyful, stressful, broken, healed, years of living!! Thanks Jesus for each and every one of them.  Thank you for the greatest gift of all...to be called YOUR Child!!!

Love you Jesus!

Going to school?

I was asked today at work, by a fellow employee, if I was returning to school this fall. My answer: no.  I thought at that point, they would drop it, but they further asked-'why not?'  I said flat out, (and to keep it simple) "I dont want to" (cause I really dont want to head back to school at this point in my life).  There are a lot of reasons for that, but right now I feel/know the main one is that God has me here, working (10 hr days lately..) and spending time in the town I grew up in.  Honestly- I love it.  I nevver thought I would hear those words/see those words come out of my lips and finger tips. 

For me, 'school' is life.  I have never liked the idea of "oh you graduated, now move to the city and go to university.  Oh you dont know what you are going for? that doesnt matter-go blow $10, 000  because its "expected' of you" idea that a LOT of people have in this town.  THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN SCHOOL!

For me: Travel is also my school.  It has been through my travel that I am who i am today.  Had I not traveled right out of high school-I really dont know where I would be now.  I think/believe its safe to say that I would NOT have gone to SBC (thus missing out on an amazing adventure there with meeting new, awesome friends, having gone up north to Oxford house, spent 2.5 weeks in Philippines OR even, have experienced a HOT HOT HOT summer in the Ukraine).  Had I not traveled right out of high school , chances are i would not have gone to Africa last year with a team in my church.  yes, I would have a fuller, complete heart now- but personally,  I like having my 'heart' spread 'across the globe". 

All I have to do, is think/remember that I literally have brothers and sisters in Christ, all from different backgrounds, races, and stories, all around the world.  Even from a world away, they lift me up. they encourage and bless me. To know I have a sister doing street ministry in the Philippines, warms my heart. Encourages me to know she is praying for ME and my ministry.  Her whole church is...people that I spent no more than 48 hrs with here on Earth's time..but I am looking forward to spending eternity with them all in Heaven :)

Its amazing

So no, this fall I am NOT going to school in the 'traditional' sense.  Rather I am going to be an extreme case and "be like Glitter ;) ) and shine for Christ right here. Right now.  I am going to take His love back to Africa, to my 'kids' there and also, be blessed by God through THEIR love as well.  Thats'  school.  There aint no text book, teacher or assignment that can teach that.
only 3 ish  more weeks till youth and
only 75ish days till my African journey begins!

Pondering a thought

One thing that I have come to enjoy is just sitting back and watching the people around me. This evening was no different. I was at my brothers Junior high spring concert and just walking out, listening to other peoples conversations around me (in a non creepy type way). A group of girls were talking about flats (shoes) and the arches they have-this short cameo converstation put a ponder of a thought in my head. When do we start caring about the things around us and realize how huge the world is? I think back to a year a go where I was...June 5 2007 I flew home after my stint in Europe. I left in March having no idea what to expect, and came home still now knowing where the next section in life would take me, but I came home different-changed even. I can never fully described what happended inside of me while I was in Europe. I gained so much-new expereinces, new knowledge both bibilically and just in life, new understanding and appreciation for old things, new culture and an appreciation for my own,new faces and friends (Who I still treasure dearly).
THere is so much knowledge out there waiting to grasped and learned. I wonder where those girls will be a few years down the road. Will they settle for the life they have here in Altona, Manitoba, or even Canada? Or will the do something phenomenal in todays world? Find a cure? solve the issue of world hunger? Or even things that appear to have smaller effects, but are just as important-help improve the local community, change someones life, say the right thing that needs to be said? I think of the people who have affect my life (waaaaaaaaaay to many to name but I hope you know who you are!) and I dont know where I would be without their love and support.
I wonder where life will take me in a few years. Where will I end up? What will I be doing? I of course, have my hopes and dreams, but again those are mine, not God's. My job is to listen and Obey him.

So thats just a little thought for the day/evening-Take it for what its worth.
It made me pause in my tracks and think

Life

So I realize its been a while since I have updated this as well! Part of that reason being is that I took have joined Facebook, reason being to keep in contact with friends from Holsby easier! But I know that is not an excuse, I just havent thought about updating this blog, so today I will bit. Life is back to what it was before I left. I started work last week monday and its pretty much the same. Slow, but steady at least. plus only one more week and then its long weekend which is good! Camping fun! Anyways. I have almost been home for a month and its crazy! Its good to be home, but I still miss the people and Europe in general. It is such a big wide world out there! This weekend I attend the first, of which i Hope lots of, wedding shower for a friend. Kind of weird that she will be married at the end of the summer ,and so young! But I guess that is apart of life. I am happy for them , really i am, But at the same time the world is so huge! Embrace it! Live it! enjoy it! I am just glad I got a small taste of traveling on my own, meet new people and all! I guess it depends on what you want! Anways COngrates goes off to them!
So that is just a short update! take care and explore even where you are now!