Saturday, April 16, 2016

Dear Cambodia (a message from my heart)


Dear Cambodia

You’ve wrecked me.  I left your soil just over 2.5 years ago, yet my heart remains broken for you.  My feet yearns for the day that they will walk upon your land once again.  My eyes cannot wait to look upon the beautiful faces of your people. My soul is restless, begging me to return to you and share with you, the hope in which you have renewed in me.  I’ll be honest- I never thought I would fall in love with you in the way that I have.  Truth be told, at the time I thought you were ‘just another country’ in South East Asia.  A country in which I had to spend time in before returning to the red soils of Africa.

Isn’t that how God works though? Revealing Himself to us in ways we sometimes least expect it?  Ironic isn’t it? That you, Cambodia, were the one country in which I spent 2 months in?

Cambodia, I miss walking among your streets; taking in the many sites and smells.  I miss buying fresh pineapple for 10 cents from local vendors and walking among the rice fields.  As the rain hits the ground outside my home here in Canada, I recall sitting beneath the shadows of palm trees, sipping fresh coconut milk while enjoying the company of the local people.  Oh the lengths I’d go for a roadside smoothies consisting of dragon fruit/pineapple and apples and to taste a deep friend banana for breakfast once again.  Playing hide n seek among a Buddhist temple (opps!) and even hearing off tune karaoke…praying that it would end, now becomes a moment in which I yearn for.  Waking up early, reviewing the English lesson for the morning and then finishing up the day with worship, songs and testimonies from local Khmer university students, renewed my soul in a powerful way.  Time spent with my Phnom Penh Cambodian contacts, turned family, at “Beautiful Feet” dorm, are precious precious moments that I will forever be grateful for.  Words cannot express how they changed the course of my life in 3 short weeks.  To Ango, Asui and Kaka…thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, with everything that I got, thank you so very much.  Your friendship, your mentorship, means the world to me.   

Is this all Ironic? Coincidence? Perhaps a ‘freak thing’ that the one country that I had to spend two months in, is the one country in which I yearn to return to the most?

Or is it a part of God’s continual plan to break my heart for what breaks His? 

Cambodia through you, God began to begin to stir a passion deep within me, not only for a foreign land and its people, but a future career as well. Yes Cambodia, it is because of those two months of teaching English to your people, that God revealed another calling within my life, to me. A calling that came full circle in just over a year, when God led me back to Zambia to teach English.  February 18, 2014 while I was in the middle of my second month teaching English to local Cambodian university students, I journal the line, “I want to use my TESOL to be able to go back to Zambia, and teach at Seeds of Hope.”  May 1, 2015 I found myself back at Seeds of Hope at the start of a 3 month term of teaching English.  So Cambodia, today is April 16, 2016 and I cannot help but wonder at what point I will look back upon this entry and realize that it has once again come ‘full circle’.

James 2:14-19 says, “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”  Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.  You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder."

Cambodia, you are no longer simply a place on the map to check off that I have been too…rather you have become a ‘home away from home’ and one day I will return.  More so, now that I have seen, I know that I am responsible.  I know that my faith also requires action.  I know that it will be a few years yet before I return, but know that God is preparing me during this season of my life to better able to serve HIM among your people and your land.

You have captured my heart, Cambodia, in a very unique way.  You’ve captured my heart in a way that I thought only Zambia would ever hold.  I don’t know when God will lead me back to you, but I am praying and believing that He will…all in His due time.  Until that day; know that I am praying for you.  That God will continue to move through you and your people; to bring darkness into light, bringing about rescue and restoring justice in places of injustice.  Until that day we meet again, I promise I will continue to do all that I can right here and right now, trusting God each and every step of the way.

No comments: