Troubled Heart: Faithful through the Storms

“Own the sound forever
Heart and heaven together
Singin' holy is your name
And if it lifts you higher
Burn in me your desire
A passion worthy of your name”

(Heart Like Heaven; Hillsong United)

These two; words cannot describe the
blessing they have been in my life

One of the most common questions; whether I am in Canada or anywhere in the world, is this, “what do you (Nikki) miss most about ‘home?’”

Here is an attempt to answer that;

It has been approximately 15 days, 360 hours, and 21,600 minutes (but who’s counting?) since I said my final ‘good-byes’ and since I left over 150 pieces of my heart in Zambia, Africa. However, it has also been 15 days, 360 hours and 21,600 minutes of daily ‘welcome back’, hugs and catching up.

This bear has traveled the world with me
and has been in many different hands.
In these hands, 'chilly' shall remain.
He is 'home' in the beautiful country of Zambia.
Here,
two worlds equally special and important to me, collide

flying high above Canadian soil

What I have come to know is this, the physical location of where you are on a map is truly irrelevant. It really is. Yes, natural sites (such as Mount Everest or Victoria Falls) are incredible and worth the effort to see in real life (trust me; I have). However if you want to see the true beauty in this world, I challenge you to get to know the local people (whether in Canada, Zambia or anywhere else). You will learn quickly that it is the people that make the location and not the location that makes the people.

I recall a conversation that I had during one of my last nights in Zambia. I was really struggling with coming home. How was I supposed to ‘let go’ of the people who had grown so very dear to my heart? How was I supposed to ‘let them go’ knowing that I may never see them again? How was I supposed to be ‘okay’ knowing the disease running rampaged through their bodies and that I couldn’t do anything about it? How was any of this ok?

I was told something along these lines, “Nikki, it is not a matter of if you’re ‘ok’ with any of this. It is a matter of knowing who God is and continuing to daily surrender your (my) life and the lives of the kids here (and those at home) to Him regardless of what is going on inside your heart. God has ordained each and every moment and step along the way. He brought you back to Zambia now for a reason and now your (my) job is ask yourself, ‘what is it that God is wanting you to learn from the people/kids here (in Zambia) in your life? How is He using what you are feeling now, to stir you on through the gifts, passions, desires and heart in which He has given you?”

Jesus; let me be your hands that joins Nations

Since coming home, I have had good days and I have had bad days. Days when the only thing that I want is to be back at Grace Academy, embracing my 8 year old in a hug or to be on the 20^th lap around the playground simply talking with one of ‘my girls’ as she shares what is going on in her life. My heart yearns for those cherished moments. However, I am quickly reminded of the hours already spent walking around the Altona park, Slurpee in hand, as I hear stories of how God continues to renew, restore and change the lives of ‘my girls’ right here. Moments of watching a Canadian sunset on a hay bale, long conversations with close friends, or a stop at Tim Hortons with mom on the way out of the city. These are the moments now which are overflowing my heart with joy.

What I know is this; All power belong to God.

Indeed HE is the KING of Africa, the KING of CANADA and the KING OF THE UNIVERSE

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(* Below are just a few more random photos for you to enjoy!! On another note; I OFFICIALLY have a job which I begin Monday!! Seriously, GOD IS SO GOOD!!!He knows our hearts and He honors the desires within us that line up with His will. I love 'being in a season' where He constantly reminds me of just how much He cares for, and loves me (and you!) Thank you Jesus!*)