don't know what to say

Well, thats not true, there is acutally tons to say...but I dont know how to say it...if that makes sense. No I am not dying or anyhting bad, so relax that parts ok...though in sense I am dying-Spiritually Dying that is. Again I hate the fact that I am even writing that, but its true...I know God is there, I know He is working...but I cant Hear Him...its annoying and I hate waiting...but what else can I do? I am praying, reading through Luke and reading God on Mute but He is still silent...God where are you? How come I can't hear you? I am here, I am waiting, I WANT to serve you...Lord lead me, guide me, reveal yourself to me