"Argh" moment with God

Honestly-God and I, we have our moments.  Its all about having a relationship with Him right? And relationships are not perfect, so why should my relationship with God, be any different? (I mean, other than the fact that HE created ME in HIS image...*stops and ponders that thought*)

If I could talk to God "face to face" here is how I see/feel my side of the conversation would be right about now....

"Ok God, what the heck.  You KNOW I do not like Hospitals.  Yes yes I know you gifted people with the gift of healing and medicine and well hospitals come with that territory, but really I am SO SICK of visiting my grandma, and my grandpa-one from each of the family-in there! Like what the heck. I know I know-You are God and I am not (thank goodness!).  But how am I suppose to respond when I am there, visiting them-when another older lady comes up to me (a patient there as well) and begins speakign to me in low german but switches to english when you realizes I have no idea what she is talking about and then she goes on to say "I dont know where I am or why I am here".  Or when I am told of a young boy-battling cancer a few rooms down..a kid who should be out playing hockey with friends, learning in school and fighting with siblings instead of lying there sick. How do I (if its possible) mend the tension in the extended family because of all of this hospital stuff going on? How do I tell my mom "it will be ok" when really, I have no freaking clue.  what do I say to my grandma when she asks me why is she still here-when all her friends are rejoicing along side you right now? How am I suppose to respond when all she wants-is to just go HOME to be with you?  What am I suppose to feel when I walk out and see the stars and moon shining bright-a very visible sign to me that you are indeed, right next to me-holding me and holding out Your hand to me with the look in Your eyes asking me to trust You.  How am I suppose to act or feel. Part of me just wants to give up. Yet a greater part of me just wants to hold on tighter and tighter and never let go.  God I know  the amazing things and wonders you have done throughout the bible.  You sent YOUR SON to DIE for me.  How DARE i even question Your amazing love for me.  I have NO RIGHT to.  God you are the same God now, as you were when you heard Moses' cries of deliverance for the Israelites, or sara and abraham's cry for a child when they were old.  You stuck beside David-a Shepard boy-as he defeated Goliath and went on to rule.  You were there with Job as everythign was taken from him yet he still praised you through it all.  Your hand was upon mary as she learned of the child she was carrying.  You were with Christ as He hung on the cross.  YOU WERE THERE through it all.  And I know, despite me being angry with You and despite me having my "moments" with you-that YOU ARE HERE NOW. 

Through it-I will praise you O my LORD.  Use these hands for Your Glory.  Work through me to touch the lives that you put in my life.

God I may not get everything and it may/will take me a while to catch on-but I am learning. I am learning from the Creator who is totally and 100% completely in control. Praise God for that!