Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Laying it all down

I've been home from World Race Training Camp now for 3 full days and I still do not know how to process, or 'sum up' what happened last week.  I know that I am not alone in this-as squad mates are wrestling with it too.

How do I convey to other people-what God has taught/shown me this past week, when I MYSELF am still wrestling/trying to figure it out?

How do I take time to process and just 'be still' when other commitments come up and I literally do not have time to just BE?

How does I wrap my head around the fact that in a few short weeks- the journey to the Nations begin?  A journey that I KNOW God will rock my world in a way it has never been rocked before.

How do I go about saying 'goodbye' to my friends and family here who have supported and encouraged me throughout life and especially, this crazy journey thus far?

How do I leave my youth ministry when I feel as though breakthroughs are finally happening?

How do I truly express to others my fears and concerns for the race without feeling as though I am 'doubting' God?

How do I be as 'strong as I can be' going into this race?

How will I respond to situations/experiences in which I my only response will want to be anger?

How do I look into the eyes of a prostitute and tell her that 'God loves you' when I have absolutely NO CLUE the hell that she has gone through?

How do I put down an orphan child-knowing that the hug I just gave them, maybe the only love that they ever receive this side of Heaven?

How do I bring hope and light into a place filled with darkness and hopelessness??

How do I simply BELIEVE that a healing took place with out being skeptical and trying to 'justify' it?

How do I bring freedom to a person caught in bondage?

How do I love the pimps, when every bone in my body screams to 'tear them apart?'

How do I look into the soul of a African Widow who has endured years of abuse and physical hard work?

How do I look love a young girl caught in the sex trade and has experienced nothing but pain from physical touch?

How do I fight the injustice's in this world-without creating more injustice in itself?

How do I allow myself to be completely broken and humble before God to allow HIM to move, to speak in and through me?

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

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