So back in July, i could do this. I could go to work each day and just suck it through because a) it was something new then and b) I had mentally prepared myself for 9 months of work. But now, my adventure is just over two months away and yah, I just want to go, to actaully be there and experience it. These next two months of work will be harder to get through just for that reason. It could be also becuase it is a bit slower, but that should pick up with the schools opening again this week. At least I hope it will pick up. There are moments at work, when all of a sudden it will hit me. I am leaving soon, I can see the finish line of in the distance (key word being distance). Its so wierd though. I am anticipating this more then I ever did for Grad. Am I nervous? Yah parts of me are, yet I think that most of it is just pure excitment and anticipation. I just have to keep telling myself, that God is in control, not me. I have certainly experienced enough this summer with work, st. laurent, and Chalo to know that time and time agian, but when its you.. its stiill harder if you know what I mean. I guess that is where the faith comes in, and yes I do know that, but get what i am sayiing? What I do know is that I am ready for this, I am ready to fly above the clouds, meeting new people, hanging out with Maja, learning to trust God more.
The other day i was listening to my Ipod when this song came on. I surrender and i realized that for all the times we sing it, either in youth or church, how many people are acually singing it because well you just are, or becuase they really are surrendering there and then to God. I know I am guilty time and time again for just singing it cause of where I am, but now, I am. I am surrendering myself, this trip, the journey ahead all to God. Though I know that I will fail at points on my trip with not trusting God (we are humans, it happens), but I will strive to prevent that from happening as much as I can. I realize that I cant do this on my own. Not only do I need God, I need prayers as well. Prayers as i prepare, Prayers for mom and dad, Prayers while on the trip for safety, health, guidence and knowledge and all that that includes. So just something to keep in mind. I dont know how often I will acually be able to update my blog due to time and access, but I will do as much as I can with email and phone calls home, which mom can then pass on. So yah, thats all for now! Cherish life
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