To save a life (part two)

Never ever, did I think that I would be writing part 2 to my previous blog; God works in mysterious ways but I am struggling to see the ‘mystery’ in this one…

I don’t even know how to begin this blog, or how to describe the feelings and emotions (or lack thereof) running through me.  

Numb.

Numb  is the only word that comes to my mind. 

I feel numb.  

I know I have seen (and experienced) worse than what I did today but I do not remember feeling a numbness like this, before.  

And the part that gets me the most, is that I do not know why I am feeling like this.

I woke up this morning with a sense of anticipation as today was the day school started once again for another term here.  This meant that it was also the first day of teaching.  It was time to put what I had spent the last 8 months of my life, learning to do…TEACH ENGLISH as a Second Language!  It went well and I know already, that I am really going to enjoy my time doing it!!  I am teaching grade 10 English and I have about 10 students in my class.

What I did not anticipate, was attending the funeral of the month old baby boy that we (Seeds of Hope) took into our care a short 3 days ago.  A few short days ago I wrote this, “He (the baby) was safe in my arms.  He has a bright future before him and a chance to live the life God has called him to live” Now, I found myself on the way to visit this little guy once again.  Only this time; his big brown eyes wouldn’t be looking up at me.  Instead; his lifeless body now laid in the small coffin before me.

“Why O Lord? Really, what IS the point?”

Things started of rough, as the local children’s ‘hospital’ would not release his little body to us; despite the fact that we had the papers and all in which we needed. Could someone explain to me, why a hospital would not release the body of a baby…especially the body of a ‘dumped’ baby?  Or do they think that, clearly the mother WILL be coming in to ‘claim’ the body, despite the fact she literally dumped him when he was alive? (*please note sarcasm in that last statement/question*) 

 Finally, thanks to a persistent (and awesome) staff member (who is Zambian), we were able to take his body and give him a proper funeral and burial.  One with dignity and respect.  

The ride to (and through) the grave yard itself, was an experience I could have done without.  This whole experience, I can honestly say, was never on my bucket list or any other list of any sort.

I cannot even begin to describe the graveyard to you that will paint a clear enough picture.  Simply imagine grave upon grave upon grave.  We found ourselves at his little grave site; surrounded by dozens of other graves of young children (this was the area in which they buried the children; again; they have a SPECIFIC area only for children).  Next to his grave, was 4-6 freshly dug graves; which told me that 4-6 more funerals of babies/children were coming up in the very near future.

The message was short, with myself and about 9 others in attendance, but it was clear that this little baby made a huge impact in the lives that he touched in his 4 weeks of breathing on this earth.  I know he touched mine.  I am so thankful for the chance God gave me to hold him.  God works in mysterious ways and I may never know “His Way” in regard to this situation…and I have to be okay with that.  He is God and I must trust, it is as simple as that.

Afterward, we spent some time with the team from Northern Alberta, spending money that they had fund raised earlier for the new dorms.  It was a good change, buying things that would be used to fill the dorms.  To me, it was a reminder of the hope that is there through the kids that have already, been saved.

After, we made another stop and, guess what, came out with a 16 month old baby boy!!  He would be coming to live full time, at the 0-5 year old place that Seeds of Hope has set up.  Now, the story isn’t all happy (when it comes to these kids, it usually starts off pretty rough).  This 16 month old, is the youngest of 5 siblings who recently lost their mom.  The oldest son (about 14-15 we guessed) had been caring for this child singlehandedly for the last 2.5 months.  The other 3 siblings have all been split up THROUGHOUT the country of Zambia.  Seeing this young boys face (who didn’t speak English), as he realized he had to leave his brother here, was heart breaking.  He really truly cared for, and loved, his brother.  He just couldn’t make ends meet and provide for this baby.  

When they got in the van, the 16 month old was crying hard.  We realized shortly, that he was just very thirsty and drank almost a quarter of the water bottle that we offered this child.  A friend of mine here, offered her bottle to the older brother to drink for himself.  What happened next, humbled me even more.  Instead of drinking it himself (even though we knew he too, was thirsty) he gave it right to his little brother.  This simple act alone, spoke volumes to my very heart and soul.  There IS good that still happens here.  God’s love still shines, especially when the world seems as dark as it did a few short hours earlier.

When I got back to where we are living for the next two weeks (same sight as the 0-5 year olds) at the end of the day, I found the 16 month old.  I picked him up into my arms and just held him.  The tears had long stopped and I was even able to get a smile out of him.  Young kids came up and pulled on my skirt and I gladly gave them each a hug, while praying a prayer of protection over the young life in my arms.

“Greater things have yet to come; greater things are still to be done in this city.  There is no one like our God; there is no one like you God”