Masks

One thing I have been struggling with lately are masks- not the kind that you physically put over your face like at olden day parties or dress up but the kind that other people dont see, but that you know are there. Why have I been struggling with this? this post kind of goes hand in hand with the post titled "Who am I"- who am I? Does it depend who I am around? Co-workers? family? Friends? WHich set of friends? I feel at times that I am putting on the mask of what people expect of me, depending who I am with. I am not sure if you get what I am saying, but I KNOW other people struggle with this as well. I am trying to figure out not necessary with who, but where I feel most like me and honestly...I am not sure. Work is so much a routine that yah I feel like a robot (well not always, but somedays), home too is a routine-nothing that exciting (which is just fine). I hung out with friends which I grew up with today in the city-it was good for what it was (wedding shower) but I've said it before and will say it again-we are all at such different spots in life (not necessarily a bad thing and in some cases, its a good thing), but it makes connecting and realiting to each other a lot harder then I initally thought it would be out of high school. again I am blown away at how quickly people can change. Again Ontario was amazing May Long-but that too its an experince that I find really hard to explain because no one else here knows those people or the things that we experience together both in Sweden and Ontario-which is great in sense that its our own special connection-but its hard knowing how to act becuase that is the only area of life in which we know each other. Then THere is SBC-we basically spent 8 months together-growing,laughing, learning, struggling all together- I think just for that reason-I am the most my self there. Just becuase we are around each other 24/7. Though it did take me a while to open up and become myself as well (which I think is normal)
THis doesnt apply to to just different friends, but family as well. Gatherings and all. Its like there is some sort of expectations perhaps? I am not sure
The question is which mask will i put on today?
WHen it should be; How can I work at breaking down those masks when All I really want is to just to be me always?