NuMb

I was listening to my Ipod on my way to work this AM (at 6:55 AM I might add! Crazy earlier) anyways, the song Numb came on by Linkin Park. THis is a song I have heard over and over, but for some reason, the words just seemed to click now...perhaps explain partially what I am feeling. Check it out and note comments at the end

"Numb"

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I should add that not all the lyrics describe it, but some, such as the ones that are bolded, do. The first line, about being faithless-really stuck out. Now let me explain this a it-its not that I am losing my faith-cause I am not- but the whole idea that just cause I go to Bible school-I have it all together and life is great and all-but really, its a lot tougher then most people think. Who am I? Who are you? Who do we want to be in this world that calls us to put on masks and not be ourselves, to instead confirm to the world and its standards. WHen really, who are we to set standards? God has set the standards for living-read it its called the Bible-right now, i'll admit, I have been slacking on my bible reading and devo time, and am still working through Psalms...but I am still learning, still growing. Last night I had an amazing discussion with a good friend of mine-just listening and talking through problems with her, it was awesome-God is still at work, he still is reaching people and being Who He is!