Am I being to hard?

For those of you who know me, you will know by now, or at least you should know, my feelings towards small towns. Maybe its just the point where I am at in my life, or maybe I am just using it as an excuse by now, I'm not sure. Anyways, the other day, I was coming into town off the high way, and a thought just popped into my head and I was quite surprised by it. It was "Wow, I am really gonna miss this place!" Wierd I know, but perhaps its the security of it, or the feeling of being home, and "knowing" the town, the people, the way of life. It didnt seem to fit with my current way of thinking and looking at the town, all the negative things about it. I will admit that a town like Altona, is where I want to raise a family, just for those reason of security, and the feeling of home. That doesnt mean it will be Altona, but hopefully some small town somewhere like it.

But Like I said, right now, I just need to get away. Away from the mennonite culture, away from the sense of knowing "everything about Everyone." Its kind like if you dont fit in to the way of life as it is here, or if you dont meet the right expectations of other people, then good luck being accepted and fitting in. I have talked to people who have lived here all of their lives, since they moved here, and still dont feel accepted to some point. Now I dont want this to be a downer for anyone, but I wonder how many other people in town feel that way. Your Grade 12 year, you hear plans of what lots of people want to do. Sure most go to university, but there are also those that want to get out. Is that just a mindset that "oh i am done school, so i can leave" or is there someting about small towns that drive people away?

There are days when I honestly feel like I am a robot living in a bubble. wake up, take the same streets to work, work with the same people, take the same streets back, have supper, go to the rink (especially now with hockey starting...), come home etc etc and go to bed knowing that the next day will be very similar. Maybe I am over analyzing things, maybe I am not. I could go on, but I dont want to spend my Sunday complaining about something that I can't change alone. Besides, my Chalo scrapbook is waiting for me. But yah, let me know what you think, am I being to hard? Just using it as an excuse, or can you relate as well? So yah, post a comment and whereever you are, just live life and enjoy it ( I know I know I nee d to eat my own words!)